Part Fourteen: Pre Partum



The pummeling against her ribs made it difficult to sleep, lately. It wouldn't be long before she would have this baby, and be relieved of its internal activity. And I thought Gaele was wriggly. She rolled out of bed, and put on her housecoat, which was becoming a nightly routine. It seemed she had to get up half the night, just for bathroom trips alone, not to mention the leg cramps, the backaches, and the creature that swam around inside of her, punching, kicking, elbowing and butting her innards to mush. The baby now was so big it took up all the spare room in its tight little world, and seemed to be getting bored with being forced to roll up in a ball all the time.

Raphael stirred as she made her way to the bathroom. "Watz doin'?" he mumbled sleepily.

"Nothing, hon, just doing my usual thing," she said softly.

He grunted in reply, and turned over. Rahab stared at him as he resumed his sleep. She hardly ever saw him sleeping until after he returned from that... sortie, as Don had put it. Other than Mike, Raphael had seemed to recover the slowest from that event, though it was more than half a year ago. She worried about him, and had suggested he go see a doctor, but he flatly refused.

It was mid February, and very cold outside,but she felt too restless to stay indoors. She put on her coat and went outside in the predawn darkness. Snow had fallen during the night, and as she walked through the garden, she saw the many tracks of students who had gone for their daily morning lessons. She found and followed a larger, more familiar pair that meandered off among the trees, and she followed them up to the pond, which was frozen, and the usual water sounds of the falls were silent.

Rahab bent down and brushed the layer of snow off the pond's surface, to see how thick the

ice was. She punched at it with a gloved hand, but it was quite solid.

"What are you doing," a voice said behind her.

She jumped and skidded when she saw Mike standing there. He grabbed her to prevent her from falling.

"Whoa! Goin' skating?"

She stepped back to peer at him. "N-no," she said, feeling a little foolish.

They stood in silence a few moments, as though to size each other up. He looked at her midsection, which was now quite prominent in spite of the bulk of her coat. She could see the gleam of his teeth in the semi darkness, but he said nothing.

"How are you," she said politely.

"I'm fine."

They stood in another minute of silence.

"I thought you were, ah, in L.A.," she ventured again.

He shrugged. "I was. I came back."

"To see Gaele, I take it." There was something about him, Rahab decided, that was very odd... like he was planning to do something.

"Yep. Is that okay with you?"

"That's fine with me, Mike. She's been asking about you."

He scuffed at the snow with his foot. "I know. I just didn't want to scare her."

"Scare her... oh, " she said, when she realised what he meant. "How's your... face?"

"It's still there."

"Did you get it fixed?"

"Yes, I got it fixed!"

She tried to see, but he turned away, and gave her a long look out of the corner of his eye.

"What's the matter, Mike? Why are you so nervous?"

"I'm not, " he said, and cleared his throat. "Well... maybe a little. You know, about seeing Gaele, and all."

"I see." She squinted at him. "You're not planning on taking her anywhere, are you?"

"No," he said evenly.

She looked up to see his eyes directly on hers. She noticed his right eyelid was a little different from the left. His expression was unreadable.

"Are you sure?"

His eyes grew round with indignation. "What are you trying to say, Rahab? What, you think I'm gonna steal her or something?" He let his breath out sharply when she didn't answer. "When are you gonna gimme a break, Rahab? What did I ever do to you?"

She didn't answer.

Mike paced around in a tight circle, glaring at her from time to time. "I dunno what it is about you..." he muttered between his clenched teeth. He spun suddenly, and walked up to her. "Sometimes I just FEEL like-" He didn't finish, but she saw his fists tighten at his sides.

"Are you threatening me?" Her own calmness surprised her.

His eyes dropped, and he turned his head away. "No."

A disturbing thought came to her. He could easily set up some kind of... accident. For her. It would be a quick and easy solution to his dilemma, he'd mourn her a while, and take Gaele with him, and raise her all to himself. She could just hear his girlfriends making a fuss over Gaele. Too bad her momma's not around anymore, poor little thing, what a shame...

"Mike, listen," she said as gently as she could, as she grasped his arm. "I really have nothing against you, but sometimes I feel like I have a reason to be afraid of you-"

"Afraid? Of me?" His mouth opened. "Why?"

"I think you already know the answer to that one."

"I'd like to hear it from YOU first. I don't want to assume anything." He shifted his weight to one side and folded his arms, as he waited for her to speak. As the sky lightened, a fresh breeze started up, making her shiver. She could see his silhouette clearly now, his head hunched into the turned up collar, the long coat wrapping itself around his legs as the wind blew.

"Why don't you come back to the house," she offered. "It's a lot warmer there."

"Good idea," he said. "Surely Raph must be up by NOW, huh?"

She just looked at him in answer.

Later in the kitchen, they talked. Most of it was small talk, as though neither one wanted to get back on the heavy subject. It was not an easy one to take up again, but Rahab took the initiative.

"Mike, " she said. "What do you really want?"

He leaned his forearms on the table. "Don't you know by now?"

"I'd like to hear it from you." She cocked her head knowingly at him.

"Oh, wait a second...you owe me one, don't you?" He laughed quietly. "Okay, I'll tell you what I want, and you tell me why you feel like you have to be afraid of me. Deal?"

She nodded.

"Okay-y..." He sighed. "Ever since I was just a young buck- come to think of it, I still am a young buck- there were things I used to think about when I had nothing else to think about. I used to sit in a little spot near the Central Park Zoo on a Sunday afternoon and watch people walk by. 'Course they couldn't see me, but I could watch them all I wanted. I'd watch fathers and their families do their thing, and they looked like they had a pretty nice life, know what I mean? You know, go out at seven every weekday morning, wearin' a three piece suit from Brooks Brothers, carryin' a nice little leather briefcase, go downtown and work till five, and come home, and there's the wife, and the kids, and maybe the dog all waitin' for him, happy to see him. Maybe they'll go out to their summer house in the Hamptons on the weekend, or go to their condo in Florida for Christmas vacation. They have this neat, tidy little life, with nobody out there looking to waste 'em. Know what I'm sayin?"

"I guess so, but..."

"Wait, I'm not finished," he said, holding a hand up. "I used to think that I couldn't have that life. Whenever I saw my reflection, I'd tell myself, 'Yeah right, Mike. The only way you can take a girl out is to go to a masquerade party. All very well and good till she finds out it ain't part of the costume.'" He laughed. "I'm ramblin' here... anyway, when Gaele came along, I said- well, you know what I said. Nothing else matters anymore. She's my girl, my own offspring. What I thought was outa reach, became attainable."

Rahab lowered her eyes.

"I know what you're thinkin'," he said, after a silence. His voice got harder. "You think I'm trying to get back with you. Maybe I am, but then again, too much water's gone over the dam. I'm beginning to see what kind of a person you really are. Starting to make up your own mind about things now, huh? Maybe you just might take off someday, huh?"

She started up, then gathered herself together. She could see he was baiting her. His eyes were bright, neither in amusement or anger, but something in between. "I don't believe you know me as well as you think," she said calmly. "What do you mean, take off?"

"Heh! I've heard some interesting stuff about you." He gave her a knowing smile.

"Oh, really? What might that be?" She leaned her elbows on the table. "What have you heard?"

"Hmm. You don't know what it is about, huh?" The tip of his tongue showed between his teeth.

"Maybe not," she countered.

He grinned impishly at her a long time, then let his breath out. "I heard..." he said, leaning close to her in a stage whisper, "That you and Raph don't get it on as much as you'd like, because Raph's hittin' the bottle and fallin' asleep on ya... and so you're chasing Don around."

"That's a great, whopping LIE," Rahab burst out, standing up in indignation. "Who told you that, I'd like to know?"

He rolled his eyes at her in mild surprise, and shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I don't recall. I just heard it somewhere."

"I demand that you tell me, Mike! Who would DARE spread such a vicious story?"

"Take it easy, Rahab! Hey..." He looked serious. "If it isn't true, don't worry about it."

"It ISN"T true," she muttered, fighting to keep from crying. She gritted her teeth, and breathed hard to calm herself, and stop the tremors of pent up rage. "I want to know who TOLD you that."

Mike watched her closely. "I was just playing a game, Rahab. Just fooling around. That was obviously a big mistake... and I'm sorry I said it."

Rahab stared at him a long time, trying to think through the cloud of anger that persisted in roiling her thoughts. "You and your stupid games, Mike... and you wonder why I don't like having you around? Because you're just a FOOL! You don't want to work ANYTHING out, you just want to pick a fight, don't you? Maybe you just want to find an excuse to get rid of me, so you can have Gaele to yourself, that's it!"

Mike's mouth opened. "What?" His voice cracked with surprise. "Whattaya mean, get rid of you, what are you tryin' to say?"

"What I'm TRYING to say? Who says I'm trying? I'll tell you JUST like it is, Mr. Big Shot," she snarled. "You're just SO sure of yourself, you think you can have whatever you want? I know what your problem is, I've said it before and I'll say it again, you're JEALOUS! Maybe you'd get me killed, if you can't have me, nobody else will, isn't that right? Maybe stage an accident? Just like that guy who did his wife, back in L.A... maybe YOU helped him out-"

"Wait a minute, shut UP!" He started to say something else, but he seemed to choke on it, when she fell silent. He was breathing hard. "You'd... you really think I'd do that?"

Rahab was too upset to speak, she just stood back, with her hand over her mouth.

"You think I'd do something like that," he repeated in a hoarse whisper. "Geez, lady...you must REALLY hate me."

Her eyes blurring with tears, Rahab turned to leave the room, but ran into a solid body coming through the doorway, and felt hands grab her to keep her from stumbling. She blinked until her vision cleared, and found herself looking into Raphael's groggy, surprised face.

"Hey, wha's goin' on," he mumbled.

"It's not MY fault, Raph. She's the one who's throwing the accusations around," Mike said suddenly."She said-"

"You started it," she shot back. "You're the one who said Raph was hitting the bottle!"

"I told you I was just kidding around! Can't you take a JOKE?"

"Come on, CUT it out," Raphael muttered. "You sound like a couple of teenagers." He sighed, and went to look for a coffee mug.

"Yeah, we do, DON'T we," Mike said to Rahab.

She gave him a searing look. "Why don't YOU just leave, Mike?"

"Good idea! That will be just FINE with me," Mike snapped, and grabbed his coat.

"Both of you, SHADDUP an' SIDDOWN!" Raphael's shout silenced Rahab's snide reply. She stared at Raphael, and then settled into her seat. He had a look on his face that did not invite any arguement.

Mike stood still for a moment and then complied. He rested his elbows on the table, and rubbed his face in a gesture of emotional fatigue. "You gonna say somethin', Raph?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna say somethin'." Raph gave him a long, narrow look, as he took a sip from his cup. "I'm gonna say how sick and tired I am of you two fightin' over that poor little kid. That's what I'm gonna say."

Rahab felt a surge of guilt. 'That poor little kid' had hit home.

Mike was looking at his fingernails. He nibbled on one, until he noticed Rahab was watching him. "Yeah, okay," he said at length. "I've been a royal, class A jerk about this whole mess."

Rahab stayed silent until she realised they were both looking at her expectantly. She threw up her hands. "Well, what, am supposed to say the same thing?"

Raph smiled thinly. "Only if you think it's true."

She sighed heavily in resignation. "Okay. I was being ridiculous. Sorry, Mike."

"No problema." He gave her a half hearted smile.

They sat quietly for a few thoughtful minutes, then Mike spoke up. "Rahab, I was wondering..."

"What," she asked, warily looking him over.

His yellow eyes widened a little. "Would it be okay... if I took Gaele for a while, you know, until you recover from-"

"I knew it," she said, in a tight voice. "That's what you were getting at, wasn't it?"

"Rahab," Raph's warning halted her.

"Yeah, I was getting to that," Mike said. "I was trying to be careful."

"Yeah," Rahab echoed. "You'd better be careful..."

"Rahab," Raphael repeated.

"Who are YOU backing," she shot back at Raphael, who rolled his eyes at the cieling in frustration.

"Rahab, I'm trying to be reasonable," Mike said. "How else do I ask? On bended knee?"

"That's not necessary, Mikey," Raphael said. "She'll do it, once she starts thinking again."

"I AM thinking," she muttered, and folded her arms in defiance.

Raphael grinned at her. "Uh oh, she folding her arms..."

"Better duck," Mike said, matching his brother's grin.

"You BOYS!" Rahab glared at them, but they didn't change their expressions, as they looked at each other. She growled in frustration. "You have the inerrant knack of making fun of everything."

"Rahab, listen. Why don't you stop worrying about what you or Mike want, and see what it is Gaele wants?"

"Yeah, why don't you leave it up to her," Mike said, eyebrows raised.

"What if she DOESN'T want to go with you," Rahab said quietly.

Mike shrugged, hands out in a broad, mediterranean gesture. "Then she stays here. I think whatever is best for Gaele, is best... for the both of us."

"All right, I'll go with that," Rahab said.

Next section... Rahab 15

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