Part Eighteen: Splinters



Rahab thought Leo had left soon after their falling out, but when she had recovered enough to be up and about a couple of days later, she found him sitting on a lounge chair in the sunny atrium, with Seth asleep in his lap. Gaele was sitting in the opposite chair, chattering away, until she saw her mother.

"Mommeeee!" She charged across the room, and nearly leaped into Rahab's arms.

"Easy honey, Mommy just got out of bed," Rahab said, kneeling slowly to hug her daughter. "Did you just get home?"

"Yeah, and Daddy's here," Gaele said brightly, and ran to Leo. "I like the new baby, Leo says he's Set- Seth." She stood grinning, hopping on one foot. "What does Seth mean?"

"Hey, nobody told me YOU were here," Mike exclaimed when he saw Leo. "How's it going, Mistah Nardo?"

"It's going," Leo said, as he and Mike clasped a one-sided handshake.

"What are you, the new babysitter?" Mike sniggered as he leaned over and looked intently at Seth, who woke up and solemnly looked back at him. "Jeezum, lookit those EYES."

Gaele looked adoringly up at her father. "Isn't he cute, Daddy? But why is he so yellow?"

Rahab didn't want to watch Mike's reaction anymore, and she turned and left the atrium.

"Hey, Rahab?" She heard Mike calling her, but she kept walking. She heard Leo say something, too low for her to hear the words, it was just as well, it was meant for Mike anyway, and she didn't want to hear any more discussions about Seth.

Outside, squinting in the bright sunshine, she heard the shrieking laughter of a toddler, and Raphael's half hearted protests. Devon came charging up the patio steps from the lower garden, yelling with gusto, obviously delighted that he was outdistancing his would-be captor. Rahab fielded him easily, as she bent to scoop up her son.

"Aooh!" She grunted as she lifted him. "You weigh a ton!"

"Easy," Raphael said, reaching to help her. "He's a lot heavier than he looks."

"What are you doing, little guy, outrunning Dad already?" Rahab kissed Devon's dimpled cheek.

Devon giggled. "Addijum," he declared, pointing at Raph.

"Sure you did," Raphael said, pretending to be annoyed. "I let you beat me, anyway."

Rahab wrinkled her nose. "Whoof, you stink! Time for a change, you volatile boy!" Then she laughed.

"Bath," Raphael said to Devon.

"NO!" Devon struggled to get down. Raphael grabbed him as he tried to slide out of Rahab's arms.

"Yes you are, or the neighbors are gonna complain to the EPA," Raph said, as Devon scowled at him.

"MMMNNNO!" Devon renewed his gargantuan struggle to get loose.

Raphael deftly tucked him head first under one arm, and held his outstretched legs with his other hand, turning the toddler nearly upside down. Devon screamed as though he had been scalded, and flailed impotently at Raph's carapace.

"For heaven's sake, Raph, what are you doing to him?" Rahab yelled above the noise.

Raphael tried to answer, but Devon howled louder, his face almost purple from the exertion. Raph shrugged at her in a show of helplessness, and went into the house, and it was a while before Devon was out of earshot. Her weakness caught up with her, and she sat on a chaise to rest a moment. Devon always seemed to leave her drained of any energy, no matter how short the encounter. That kid did everything at full throttle... The sun was warm, and Rahab dozed a little, until she sensed someone approaching.

She opened her eyes, and saw Mike grinning apologetically down at her. "Am I invading your space?"

"No," she said, sitting up more. "I was just resting a bit. Still recovering, I guess."

"Yeah, uh... I guess probably," Mike said absently, as he dropped in another chaise nearby. "This place is crawling with kids already." He glanced up at her. "No offense."

"That's all right, just seems like a lot of kids with only one Devon." Rahab said lightly.

Mike laughed. "That kid's somethin' else. He really gives Raph a run for his money."

"I'm glad he's so willing to take part in his upbringing, I couldn't handle him by myself," Rahab sighed.

"I noticed you've even managed to get Leo in your employ," Mike said, looking carefully at her.

Rahab matched his gaze. "He... volunteered, Mike."

"He seems to like kids, uh?"

"Yes, he does."

They sat in silence.

Mike stirred, and sat forward, resting his forearms on his knees. He looked sideways at her. "I really think the world of you, y'know," he said at length.

"Really?"

"Yes, I do."

Rahab half smiled at him. "Thanks."

Mike looked down at the flagstones under his feet. "I mean it, Rahab, in spite of everything that's happened between us..." He braced his hands on his thighs and straightened his shoulders, then relaxed again. "It must have been pretty damn tough for you."

"What has?"

Mike gave her a long look, which Rahab read as a mixture of sympathy and forced calm. "Having another kid so soon," he said after a pause.

Rahab stiffened. "That's not all, is it?"

"No." Mike absently nibbled a fingernail. "But uh, that's as far as I'm gonna go."

"Something on your mind... isn't there, Mike?"

"I've already said it."

"No, I don't think so." Rahab swallowed to keep her voice steady. "If you have anything to say, why don't you just come out with it?"

"I just DID." There was an edge to his quiet tone that told Rahab he didn't.

"Mike..."

"What do you WANT me to say, Rahab?"

"Say what's on your mind."

Mike stared into space above her, as though looking for strength. His eyes grew round, and then he stood up. "I don't think this is a good time," he muttered, and started to walk away.

"This is a- a just FINE time," she snapped, in her haste to answer him. "Come back!"

He turned to her, mouth tight. "Are you SURE?"

"Mike, stop it," Rahab said, suddenly feeling deflated. "Please."

He sighed, and closed his eyes. "Okay... but it hurts."

"It hurts for me, too, but I want to talk about it. Nobody else does, they keep running away." She couldn't say any more for a while because the tears came, and she covered her face in her hands.

After a few moments, she recovered enough to look up to see if Mike was still there. She could see him through her veil of tears, but she couldn't see him well enough to read him.

"Who keeps running away?"

"Pe- people," she said, and sighed a shuddering sigh.

"Who?"

The word was short and quiet, but Rahab sensed Mike's sympathetic anger through it. She blinked to clear her eyes, and now could see him clearly. He was looking intently into her face, more serious than she'd ever seen him before.

"You mean, uh... Raph, right?"

She nodded.

"I'm sorry."

"No, I- it's not- I mean, he's just hurting. When he hurts, he clams up, I think it's too much for him sometimes. When I'm hurting, I want to talk about it and cry about it and throw a fit, and get it out, then everything settles into place. But Raph... he- I think if he were able, he'd literally draw back into his shell."

Mike made a strangling noise, and turned away from her a moment.

"Are you okay?"

He turned toward her, and then she realized he was trying to suppress his reaction to what she said. He coughed and cleared his throat, and grinned apologetically. "Sorry, I just- when you described Raph that way, it hit me sideways."

"Hit you sideways?" Rahab raised an eyebrow.

"The idea of Raph behaving like a real turtle..." Mike's now undisguised laughter made Rahab smile in spite of herself. "It just kills me, he's so un-turtle like. If you pushed out your throat dewlap thingie and hissed at me, and suddenly hove yourself up that palm tree like any ordinary iguana, I wouldn't look twice, but... just thinking about Raph cramming his head into his carapace..." Mike couldn't finish, he lowered his head and cackled in helpless laughter.

"Or lying at the bottom of a pond full of weeds and biting somebody's foot," Rahab added.

Mike looked at her a moment and doubled over again, grasping his knees for support, as he dissolved in another bout of laughter. Rahab giggled.

After a few minutes of snorting and sniggering, Mike calmed down enough to talk again. "You slay me, lady!"

"When's the last time we laughed like that," Rahab said, wiping her eyes.

Mike sobered a little. "I dunno, maybe when we first met. You had a pretty good sense of humor, then."

Rahab swallowed, and turned away, to hide the pang of sadness at the thought. She might have had her problems then, but there had been fun. Lately, everything seemed so... serious.

"I guess I shouldn't have said that, huh?"

She turned to look at him and smiled for his sake. "It's okay, Mike. You meant well, I think."

"'Course I did," he said so gently, it brought back her tears. He started to reach for her in reflex, but caught himself. He took a sudden interest in inspecting his fingernails, until she stopped crying.

"I'm sorry, I get this way when I re- recover-"

"I know," Mike said, low.

Rahab looked at Mike a long time, and when he said nothing more, she sat down on the chaise again. He settled into his.

"Maybe you know this already, but this new baby, you know, Seth, is...he's from- uh..."

Mike lowered his eyes. "I know."

"But um...I wasn't.. I-I didn't- "

"I know that too," Mike interrupted gently. "Leo and I had a talk."

"I can't even talk to Raph about the baby, Mike, I don't know why, but... I just can't. Raph just acts like nothing happened. How can he do that?"

"I dunno."

"This baby, he's so... different, even for us."

"Yeah, he's different," Mike said and sighed. "But he doesn't know that, doesn't he?"

"But when he does, then what?"

"I dunno, Rahab." Mike paused to chew on his lip in thought. "It doesn't really have much to do with me, so what can I say?"

"You are family."

"Then what do you want, Rahab?"

Rahab glared at Mike, but he had a sincere look on his face. She shrugged a little. "What do I want," she said half to herself. Splinter used to ask her that, sometimes. What DID she really want? A sudden burst of resolve brought her to her feet. "Hey!" she exclaimed. "Why not?"

"Why not what," she heard Mike say in surprise.

She strode resolutely toward the house at the best pace she could, and then stopped to look at Mike perched on the edge of his chaise, gawking at her. "What are you doing," he called to her.

She gestured impatiently for him to follow, and he did so, repeating his question, until she stopped and turned so that he nearly ran into her.

"Listen, Mike. You know how it's been, I've always been the passive one, the reactive-not-proactive party, right? What for, has anyone told me to sit down and shut up? No! What am I doing, sitting around, fussing? Hell, I'm gonna DO something about this. I'm tired of this garbage. Mike, could you go see if Raph has finished with Devon yet? Tell him to come out here."

Mike was too surprised to speak, so she turned and walked toward the atrium. Leo wasn't in there, she found him in the kitchen, getting his usual cup of tea. He didn't seem to notice her at first, as she gathered up her courage.

"The baby in bed?"

"Yes, he's sleeping, as usual," Leo replied, after taking a careful sip of his tea.

"He's an awfully good baby, isn't he?" Rahab said, resisting the urge to fold her arms.

Leo regarded her thoughtfully and nodded, then turned his attention back to his cup.

His serene expression goaded her. "Will you put that old thing down for a minute, we need to have a family meeting. You, Mike, Raph and I need to talk."

Leo stared at her, mouth open slightly as though to protest, then changed his mind, and set the cup down on the kitchen counter. "All right," he said quietly.

Mike was talking to Raphael rather animatedly, which subsided when they saw her and Leo enter the atrium.

Raphael stretched out on the recliner. "I hope this doesn't take too long, I'm beat," he muttered.

Mike sat on one end of the sofa, Leo on the other. They were all looking at her in varying degrees of polite skepticism.

"I appreciate you all doing this, really," Rahab said. "But it is really important that we have an open, honest discussion about the matters at hand."

"What 'matters at hand'," Raphael asked.

"The new baby."

Raphael got to his feet. "I'm going to bed."

"No, you're NOT."

He turned and stared at her. "WHAT?"

"We are going to talk this out, maybe no one is comfortable with this, but we can't pretend it never happened, okay?"

Raphael's eyes widened in annoyance. "Who's pretending it never happened? You THINK I'm pretending it never happened? Well, I'm NOT." His pale eyes were now riveted on Leo. "What makes ANYONE think I'm pretending it never HAPPENED?"

"It's not just you, Raphael, it's me, it's Leo..."

"Uh, do I have to be here?" Mike looked uncomfortable.

"Mike, please... it does involve you, you said you were hurting-"

"Hurting..." Raphael muttered, pacing in front of his chair.

"We are all hurting, Raph. If we sit around and pretend that-"

"Baby, you don't know the HALF of it. And this story about you not not knowing what happened or anything, I'll buy THAT when hell turns into a ski resort!"

"You don't believe me," Rahab asked, aghast.

"No, I DON'T believe you, but why should I blame you? You and I haven't been exactly Romeo and Juliet lately, HAVE we?"

"Maybe we should continue this in private..." Rahab said, glancing nervously at Leo, who was still quietly watching the scene.

"What for? It's common knowledge by now, isn't it?" Raphael walked up to her. "You called the frigging forum, now let's go TO it!"

"I'm trying to work things out," Rahab said, feeling her resolve weakening under Raphael's searing scrutiny, "Not trying to cause trouble."

"Really? Talking behind my back is a dead ringer for trouble, don't you think?"

"I wasn't talking behind your back!"

"NO?" Raphael sneered. "I heard you and Mike crowing like a couple of demented parrots, out there, "Raph at the bottom of a pond, covered with weeds' and all that shit, I HEARD you."

"We were having a little fun," Rahab managed to say without her voice folding. "We didn't mean any harm."

"Having a little fun, uh?" Raphael smiled grimly. "Seems lately you've been having a little FUN at MY expense."

"No, I HAVEN'T," Rahab ground out. "Why won't you take my word for it?"

Raphael snorted in derision. "It doesn't matter, I don't CARE anymore. I don't care what YOU think, or what anybody ELSE thinks, for all I know I could have a brain tumor the size of a friggin' BASEBALL in my head, and nobody would CARE, would they?"

"Then WHY won't you go and see a doctor, and find out," Rahab said as steadily as she could. "Do you think I ENJOY seeing you suddenly keel over without warning and lie there like you're dead and then when you wake up you walk around like some sort of vegetable-in-training, and staring through the TV like a zombie? Taking naps all the time? I'm sick to DEATH of it!" Surprisingly, she didn't cry, but took several breaths to calm herself.

The room was very quiet, everyone was looking at her.

She looked at Raph again. "You think I don't care? I DO care. God knows, I LOVE you." Mike looked away. "But unless you go and see a specialist about this problem, I'm going to have to leave you."

"Ouch," Mike said softly, as he glanced at Leo, then at Raph. Leo was calmly watching Raph.

Raph said nothing at first, but the shock and disbelief in his eyes said a lot. It was his turn to glance nervously at the others. He eventually found his voice. "You're gonna leave me?"

Rahab couldn't bring herself to look at him. "I'm sorry, Raph, but I can't take this anymore."

"Take WHAT? You don't want to take being somebody's wife? Having kids? You don't want to deal with Devon? What ELSE is it, Rahab?"

"It's the DENIAL, Raph!" Rahab turned to face him again. "Everybody's living in denial. DENIAL that anything is wrong, DENIAL that we have to be constantly looking over our shoulders, DENIAL that we aren't really part of the human race!"

"Oh, I see. Should we all go move into a cave, or what," Raph shot back. "Or better yet, live in a swamp and eat raw fish, what the HELL, Rahab-" His voice broke, and Rahab looked up to see him clutching at his face, and turning away from them all. He stood trembling a moment, and it looked to her as though he might be having another bad spell, until she heard him sob. Suddenly he uncoiled and grabbed a marble end table and slung it with a snarl across the room. It disappeared through one of the plate glass windows with a horrendous crash. Mike and Leo leaped up long before the table even left its place, but they were too late to stop Raphael. He spun away from them and careened across the atrium, with Mike following him at a more conservative pace.

Rahab stood still, staring in numb shock at the broken window. The sound of the glass shattering had brought back the terrible night in Croton, when someone had broken the bay window in. The air had been cold...terribly cold.

"Rahab?"

She blinked and looked around when she heard her name called. Leo came into her line of vision, a concerned expression on his face.

"What," she heard herself say, from underwater.

She jumped when she felt a firm hand on her elbow, "It's all right, Rahab, it's only me. Take it easy," he said in a gentle voice, guiding her to the couch.

She sat, feeling terribly disembodied, and rested her face in her hands. Her head was spinning. She heard Leo say something from miles away and she looked to see he was sitting next to her on the couch. Strange. She felt terribly anxious, as though something dreadful was about to happen, and she looked wildly around the room, gasping for breath.

"Rahab, you are hyperventilating. Slow it down."

She eventually did what he said, and gradually the feelings of panic and anxiety drifted away. She relaxed enough to lie down against the low armrest, and Leo got up and lifted her legs onto the couch. She jumped to push his hands off. "Don't TOUCH me!"

"I'm sorry," he said without emotion. He turned and walked away, and Rahab felt guilty. She didn't know why she felt guilty, he could hardly blame her, could he? Why would that bother him so much, not much else did...

When Leo promptly returned, carrying a quilt, which he carefully lay over her, Rahab felt guilty again. He had only been helping, after all. He regarded her a moment, absently scratching at his jaw, then turned to leave.

She heard the crunch of glass being stepped on, and he muttered something under his breath, and sat in the nearest chair to inspect his foot.

Rahab got up. "Did you cut yourself?"

"It's a splinter."

Without thinking, she grasped his foot and found the tiny shard of glass, plucking it out with her long, slender claws.

Leo wiped the blood away with his finger, and looked at her in surprise."Thanks," he said. "Those things can be extremely annoying if they don't get removed right away."

"No problem, " Rahab said, as she went back to sit on the couch. "Is that how Splinter got his name?"

"I'm not sure... but he was always pulling splinters out of us... like the kind you've been pulling out, all day."

Rahab laughed a little. "I only pulled out one."

"No, not just one... many."

"I don't get it."

Leo smiled. "You will."

Next section... Rahab 19

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