Part Four: New York

Finally, peace and quiet, she thought wearily. It had been a long trip, and Raphael seemed to be half asleep the whole time. He didn't look like he felt very well. She noticed it long before the flight, but had said nothing, since he obviously was in no mood for any conversation.

The noise of the city had disturbed her, it brought back unpleasant memories. What a relief to leave that chaotic place, and drive north, until the traffic thinned and the roads got narrower, and they passed cast-iron gates and a winding driveway to an enormous house tucked in among a stand of maples. When the car left, the quiet descended on her. She could hear the river. Dusk was falling, and birds twerped occasionally in the canopy of leaves overhead. Croton-on-Hudson. Interesting name for a town, she thought.

Raphael ascended the front steps to the house. He looked back at her expectantly, and she followed.

"Are you okay," she asked him, when she caught up.

He looked at her sideways. "I'm all right. Just a little tired. I think I'll turn in, if you don't mind. Make yourself at home, uh?"

"Don't worry about me... uhm, does anyone else live here?" She looked around the vast foyer.

Raphael was already halfway up the staircase. "Caretakers. Don't worry about them, they live in the gatehouse, and they're used to me. You can wander around wherever you want here, without any hassles."

She found a side door leading to a well tended topiary and rose garden, surrounded by a hedge. The garden gate was open, and she could see the water's edge through the trees. Trees...so many... quite different from the open high desert of Mojave that she had grown accustomed to. She felt a bit apprehensive, but the river looked fascinating. When it got too dark to see, she went back into the house. This was her home, now...

It was a couple of days before Raphael recovered from whatever ailed him to be more sociable with her. She was so busy exploring the place, she didn't mind being alone, but she was relieved to see him up and about again.

They walked the perimeter of the property, and ended up at the stone landing on the riverbank. Steps led down into the water and below it, and disappeared into the amber depths. She sat at the top step to watch the minnows flitting in the shallows. He sat beside her.

After a long silence, he looked at her. "You know, I've nothing to hide."

"Hmm," she said absently, mesmerized by the little fishes.

"I'm not one to tell my entire life's story in one sitting, that's all."

She looked up. "Well, why should you have to?"

"I don't want you to think I have anything to hide."

"What makes you think that I'd think that," she asked, puzzled.

"I don't, I just wanted to clear that up."

"Then it's cleared up." She gave him a dismissing shrug.

He grinned at her.

They were silent again.

"I know, I don't talk very much," he said, after a while.

"I don't mind, Raphael."

"I don't always have anything to say."

"It's okay with me, neither do I. "

He nodded an acknowledgement, and stared a long time at the river. "You mind if I ask you a question?"

"Of course not." She smiled again.

He paused, as though gathering his thoughts, then looked at her. "You ever uh, thought about being my wife?"

She laughed. "Wh- what?" She clapped her hand on her mouth at his serious expression. "I'm sorry. I just - you took me by surprise... um, I've never heard anyone put it quite like that."

"I was just askin'," he said, and picked up a pebble to inspect it. "No offense." He flicked the pebble into the river.

"Raph, nothing you have said has offended me. You caught me offside, that's all."

He looked up and grinned at her faintly. "Offside? Where'd you get that word?"

"I guess from Mikey," she said, watching him closely. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

Raphael gave her a look of amiable disgust. "'Course not!"

"Well, I was wondering, since you haven't been quite the same since you and Mikey got into it, that night."

"Mikey didn't do me, the pavement did. He just jumped on me, pushed me backwards down the steps, dumb luck. I've been counting satellites for almost a week." He laughed a little.

When she noticed he had stopped talking, she looked to see him staring at her.

"What is it," she asked.

"You didn't answer my question."

"Your question...oh, that question,"she said, feeling a bit silly. "The wife thing...I've thought about it."

He waited.

"Um, I like the idea."

He looked askance at her. "You LIKE the idea?"

"No, I mean, I'd love to, ah, you're not in a big hurry, are you?"

"No. Didn't say it had to be today."

"'Course not."

He was silent a moment, as he looked out toward the opposite riverbank, and then looked at her again. "So, how's next week sound?"

Rahab opened her mouth to protest, until she caught the amused look in his eye. She punched his shoulder playfully. "You're a laugh a minute, old man," she said, giggling.



The wind was sharp, as it stirred the leaves around her feet as she walked among the trees. The sky was showing through the branches, grey and overcast. She didn't like the cold all that much, but it seemed to relieve her discomfort...

It was the first week in November. They had just come back from a trip to the city, where they had wandered the streets of Greenwich Village, practically unnoticed in a sea of costumed Halloween celebrators.

It wasn't long after they had returned, that she noticed something was happening to her. She felt listless and the smell of cooking made her sick. Things she normally enjoyed seemed troublesome. Even Raphael seemed annoying, especially when he tried to help her. She felt closed in and had thrown on a coat to go outside, in spite of his fussing over her.

The honking of geese made her look overhead, and she watched the loose V formation fight its way through the wind, heading south.

"You guys are a little late," she muttered at the retreating birds. She thought a moment. "I'M late."

"Late for what?"

She turned and saw Raphael had followed her, still buttoning his coat. He was frowning.

"What's late," he repeated.

"How much do you know about female troubles, Raph?"

He scratched his lower lip. "Not much. Why?"

A movement in the branches overhead caught her eye, and she looked up. Two grey squirrels were chasing each other across the restless, skeletal canopy of the trees, moving with the ease of trapeze artists, in spite of the wind.

"Amazing how they can hang on like that," she said half to herself. She looked at Raphael who was peering up at the squirrels.

"So what's late," he asked again.

She felt lightheaded. The swaying trees overhead began a slow spin...



She rolled over, and looked up. No squirrels or trees, just a white ceiling. She moved her legs, but they were encumbered by something soft, and she tried to kick it off, but it wouldn't leave. She realized it was a yellow down comforter, hers, and she was in her bed. She sat up to look around, but she was alone. She heard voices down the hall. One was Raphael's, the other she didn't recognise, a female voice. She struggled out from under the covers and felt a momentary wave of vertigo from getting up too fast, and clung to the doorway to keep her balance. She must have made a noise, because they immediately came out of the study, and saw her.

Raphael approached quickly, hands out as though to catch her.

"I'm all right," she muttered, brushing him off. She stared at the tall, middle aged woman, who was putting on a long coat.

"Maybe you should go back to bed." He glanced at the woman, who smiled a little at Rahab.

"Who is SHE," Rahab whispered to Raphael.

"She's a doctor, who else?"

"Call me Lena," the woman said to Rahab. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay," Rahab said, feeling confused. Raphael took her by the elbow and steered her back to the bed. "What happened?"

"You passed out," he said, pushing the comforter out of her way. "Get in bed, willya?"

She did, and lay back, staring at him as he pulled the covers up to her chin.

"I'll be running along... Just get some rest." She turned to Raphael. "Contact my office first thing on Monday, and let me know one way or another. It's usually hectic after the weekend, but I'll want to see the results of that kit."

"What kit," Rahab asked.

"I'll let myself out. Take care, now."

"Sure. Uh... thanks, Lena," Raphael said absently, looking at Rahab.

The woman left.

"What kit," Rahab asked again.

He shrugged. "It's uh... she said you should check it out." He was watching her carefully as he spoke. "She seems to think you're pregnant."

She closed her eyes. She didn't like the look on his face. "I kind of suspected that."

"How long have you known?"

"Well I don't know for SURE, I mean, I've never experienced it before," she said, feeling defensive.

He pulled thoughtfully at his upper lip a moment, then breathed deeply through his nostrils. "Lena explained some things to me, she said you seemed to be pretty far along. She said a lot of other stuff I didn't understand at first, but I figured it out." He paused, and stared into space. "All I have to do is count backwards."

"I'm sorry," Rahab said, her throat tight. "I guess you don't want to get married now, huh?"

He looked stricken. "Maybe you and Mike should try to get back together."

"I don't want to, Raph. We aren't compatible, you know that."

"Maybe you should, for the kid."

She sat up in anger. "I don't think so! What's the point of staying with someone I don't love? I don't love him, I love YOU."

He said nothing.

"Raphael, did you hear what I said?"

"Yeah, I heard you, but I think you should get a hold of Mike and tell him what's going on, talk it over with him."

"You don't want me anymore, is that it?"

"No, that's not it, I do want you."

"Then why aren't you reacting to this?"

He glared at her, indignant. "How am I supposed to react, Rahab? I REACT when somebody throws a knife at my head. What else can I say? You- I- " He held his hands up in a gesture of futility.

They both were silent for a long time.

"I'm just glad you're okay. I barely caught ya," he said, after he calmed down somewhat. He gave her a weak grin. "At least you didn't hit your head on any pavement."

Next section... Rahab 5

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