Part 13: Conflict
Leo carefully straightened the stack of handwritten pages of calligraphy,
in the exact center of the low table in front of him, and smoothed the folds
of his ocher colored robe as he stood up. Gaele was amazed at how young he
looked- it seemed he and Seth were only a dozen years apart- and she knew
he had to be at least as old as Don. He smiled serenely as he and his brother
bowed to each other. Then Leo turned his pale eyes on her.
"Gaele," he said, gently taking her hand in his as though it were a baby
bird. "You have changed so much over the years."
She watched him, but when he looked at her, his eyes never left her face.
It seemed he was in that nonexistent category of males whose gaze hadn't
fallen to her chest, at least momentarily. Leo certainly was... different.
"And how is Don?" Leo had now turned his unsettling gaze on him.
"At a loss for the proper words, though I will say I'm very happy to see
you are well, Leo," Don said, as they grasped hands. They both seemed to
hesitate, then reach for each other in a firm, fraternal embrace.
"And I you," Leo said. "It seems your endless quest for material wealth has
not worn you down too much." He gave Don's upper arms an affectionate squeeze
before releasing him.
Don smiled thinly, and then looked at Gaele, his eyes bright. "Leo, Gaele
is my student and companion."
"Oh?" Leo's eybrows lifted a little. "How very interesting." He eyed Don
with a look, that, however subtle, made Gaele feel vaguely uncomfortable.
"And... where will she be staying?"
Don looked thoughtful a moment. "Perhaps you could answer that. Are there
suitable accomodations here, or should we return to the city?"
Leo and Seth exchanged glances. "Gaele will stay in Seth's room, and you,
dear brother, can stay with me in mine.We have a lot to catch up on."
"Fair enough," Don said, not looking at Gaele.
Somehow through this short interchange, she had picked up an unspoken message.
Stealing a glance at Seth, she wondered how much, if any, he had changed
in his religious convictions, and whether or not Leo now shared them? Their
constrained behavior and stilted speech bothered her... and why was Don acting
so cautiously around him? She decided not to ask any questions in their presence,
but as the day progressed, it looked as though she was not going to have
a chance to be alone with Don so she could know what he was thinking of all
this. She sorely wanted to tell him what SHE was thinking, though...
After a supper of simple monk's fare, Gaele reluctantly left Don to go with
Seth to his room. In spite of Don's encouraging smile, she felt a twinge
of apprehension.
"So, Gaele." Seth unfolded a sleeping mat, and laid it against the opposite
wall of the tiny, windowless room, not much bigger than her closet at home.
"Now you and I can catch up on things. How IS mother? I'm so sorry that I
could not communicate all winter, I had no access to any kind of
telecommunications, and going anywhere out of doors for more than five minutes
was impossible."
"Oh, Seth... it doesn't matter, now that we know you made it through okay,"
Gaele said, testing her mattress.
Seth smiled faintly at her, looking remarkably like Leo in his mannerisms,
as he rolled up his outer robe to make a pillow. He then settled himself
onto the center of his mat, and folded his legs in a lotus position. "Are
you comfortable?"
"Yes, it's very nice, thank you," Gaele lied.
Seth gazed at her for a long curious moment, his large, luminous eyes solemn.
"May I ask you something?"
"Sure, Seth, go ahead."
"How long have you been Don's student?"
"A few months, why?"
He didn't reply, but looked at her, thoughtfully scratching at his lower
lip.
"You look like you've lost a lot of weight, are you eating properly?" Gaele
said, looking him over in return.
"Why are you changing the subject so quickly?"
"What subject?"
"About Don."
"What about Don?"
"What sort of relationship is it you have with him?"
"What kind of question is THAT?"
"Why won't you answer my question, Gaele?"
"WHICH question? My word, all you've DONE is ask questions. Now you have
me completely confused."
"I'm sorry," Seth said, lowering his eyes. "There's no need for you to be
defensive."
Gaele frowned for a moment, then looked up to see him looking at her in that
way that Leo had been doing, a look that was impossible to read. She didn't
like the look very much, it was as though her head had turned into a video
screen, and he was reading her thoughts.
"So Seth, how did it go up there in the mountains," she asked, hoping to
change the subject.
Seth stared at the ceiling above her. "Well... Leo and I developed quite
a relationship."
"How so?"
His eyes were on her now, as he smiled. "It started out as a little game,
called 'Quid Pro Quo'. You know, This For That." He uncoiled from his sitting
position to recline on his mat. "You see, we had an agreement that whatever
we wanted to know about each other, had to be returned in kind, with a
willingness to reveal what was on our minds. It was difficult at first, but
then it got easier as time went on. Would you like to see how it works?"
"Aah, no thanks, Seth. Actually, I'm kind of tired."
Seth sat straight up on his haunches. "That's understandable. All that
excitement, and the climb... you aren't quite used to the altitude yet, are
you? Let me know when you want the lamp out, okay?"
"Uh, sure," Gaele said, glancing at him in uncertainty, as she unrolled her
sleeping bag. Seth turned away from her, and opened up a small, leatherbound
book that looked as though it had seen far better times. "What is that you
are reading?"
Seth looked at her from over one arm. "The Interlinear Greek-English New
Testament."
"Oh." She climbed out of her heavy corduroy trousers, and then pulled her
sweater off. Underneath, she was wearing long underwear that doubled as pajamas.
Folding everything and stacking it on top of her hiking boots, she climbed
into the bag and stretched out with a sigh.
"Do you want the light out?"
"No, you can leave it on, if you want to read. It's not bright enough to
bother me."
"Thank you, Gaele. Good night."
"Good night, Seth..."
The silence of the place was so intense, that the sound of Seth turning
a page in his book was startlingly loud in comparison. He finally
extinguished the lamp and settled into his bed, and Gaele fell asleep to
the sound of her own breathing.
Gaele nudged Don to hang back with her as they followed Leo and Seth through
the garden of the monastery, the next day. He did so, with a questioning
look on his face.
"How much longer do we have to stay here," Gaele whispered in his ear.
He smiled a little. "Why, did you have a rough night?"
"No... but I think I'm about to go nuts! It's too quiet. And Seth is
driving me crazy."
"Gaele..."
"Well, he is! And I feel as though he thinks we have something GOING on between
us. I tried to explain, but he doesn't seem convinced. What in the world
am I supposed to do?"
Don glanced up at Seth, who had turned to look back at them. "Just humor
him, will you? You really don't need to explain yourself all the time. What
you do is your business. All right? Just be diplomatic about it."
"Yes... okay," Gaele said, and sighed. "It's just... I miss being around
you. And this place is so foreign, and Leo seems to be so... I dunno...
wierd."
Don grinned and gave her shoulder an affectionate squeeze. "Can't say I blame
you, there. Just make the best of it, while you are here. Enjoy yourself.
This place has only been seen by the privileged few."
Yeah, well they can keep that privilege, it isn't exactly my cup of tea,
Gaele grumbled to herself. She followed Don as he hurried to catch up with
Leo.
Don had taken Seth off somewhere after they finished their dinner, apparently
to talk. It wasn't until she was halfway through her meal that she realized
she was being watched. Leo, kneeling at the opposite end of the table, had
been studying her with great interest. She looked back at him, in confused
amusement, as he calmly returned her gaze.
"Is something amiss?" she finally asked.
He stirred, and sighed. "Not that I know of..." He looked at his untouched
plate. "How is your mother?"
"She's, ah, fine," Gaele said cautiously.
"Good. And your siblings?"
"Fine, though ... mother IS concerned about Seth."
"Ah."
"She really wants to see him."
Leo cocked his head at her. "Perhaps she should have accompanied you and
Don on your trip."
Gaele gave him a long look, and frowned at her plate. "Wouldn't it be easier
if Seth went back to California instead?"
"He is needed here." Leo's voice was quiet, but Gaele could detect a tone
that did not invite argument.
"Father, I have decided to go home for a while," Seth said quietly to Leo
when they returned.
Leo's face was deceptively serene, like that of a well fed leopard dozing
in the sun. "Very well, then, suit yourself."
"You won't be here when I return, will you?"
"I may or may not be. It depends." Leo took a sip from his teacup.
Seth continued to stare at him. "Why are you reacting this way? Don't you
understand?"
"Yes, I understand, Seth... you need to go see your mother. I understand
that completely."
"DO you?"
"What do you want with me, Seth?" Leo's eyes widened slightly as he looked
up at his son. "Did I not tell you to go ahead?"
They looked intently at each other, and then Leo turned his focus back to
his tea.
"I want to be with you. I told you that. But I want pay a visit to my family.
Why not come with me? "
Leo shook his head, and smiled at Seth. "I would rather stay here."
"Don't do this to me..." Seth's voice was beginning to sound strained.
"What I will do is what I will do, Seth. Surely you can understand that by
now."
Seth let his breath out in a sharp huff, and stalked out of the room.
"Seth has a point," Don said quietly.
Leo said nothing.
"What are you afraid of?"
"It's amazing," Leo finally said, "Just how presumptuous everyone has suddenly
become... as though we can all read each other's minds. Tell me, Gaele, can
YOU read minds?" He looked at her and laughed a little."Can you read MY
mind?"
"Certainly not," Gaele muttered, feeling apprehensive.
"Good. At least one of us is talking sense." Leo got up and carefully smoothed
the front of his robe. He stood close to Don, and they gazed into each other's
eyes for several tense seconds. Leo pressed his lips together in a tight
smile. "None of us have really changed at all, have we, Don?"
"Depends on how you look at it."
"In all aspects, brother mine. And you know I have always loved you."
"Yes, I know."
"No," Leo said, gently grasping Don under the jaw. "Out of my three brothers,
I have loved YOU the most."
Don stood still, a look of curiousity on his face as he gazed at Leo. "Why?"
Leo shook his head, as he chuckled. "I tried so hard to love my brothers,
but they won't return it. Raphael has built a wall. Mike refuses to see."
"That isn't true, and you know it," Don replied.
Leo acted as though he hadn't heard him. "But you, dear brother, you see
into the depths of my soul, and you return my love so easily. Do you understand,
now?"
I sure as heck don't, Gaele fumed in her head. This guy is whacked, this
place is whacked, and all I want to do is just bail.
Don looked sad, as he lowered his eyes. "Yes, Leo, I understand." He looked
at Gaele, and she could see with relief that he too, wanted to leave, very
soon.
Leo's eyes flicked over Gaele as he gave her a little, transparent smile.
"I can understand why you want to get away so badly."
"Who says that, Leo?" Don turned to him suddenly.
"Gaele just did."
"Is that any of your business?"
Gaele cringed inside, in the stiff silence that followed. The look on Don's
face gave her a surge of anxiety.
"Stop doing that," Don said, an edge to his voice.
Leo half closed his eyes, as he calmly returned Don's glare. "Why are you
so defensive, brother? What can it be?" He tilted his head. "Guilt
perhaps?"
"There is no reason for guilt, Leo. Are you sure you aren't injecting some
guilty feelings of your OWN?"
"That wasn't very nice, Don." Leo levelled his gaze on Don as slowly
as a stalking snake. Don seemed to even out his stance, in an equally slow,
nearly imperceptable movement.
Gaele's heart pounded from a surge of adrenaline. "Stop," she said hoarsely.
"No good will come of any of this."
Neither of them looked at her. Each seemed to be waiting for the other to
back down. An indeterminable amount of time passed, and though Gaele had
her eyes fixed on Leo at the time, she never saw him move, but then suddenly
he wasn't there. Neither was Don. Confused, she looked around, then she heard
the sound of a carapace skidding heavily along the wooden floor in the hallway.
She heard no other sound, and cautiously peeked around the doorway. She could
not see much in the semidarkness of the long hallway, but she saw the flitting
shadow at the edge of her vision, and looked hard, but then there was
nothing.
"Gaele?" Someone said something softly in her ear, but there was no one there.
"Don? Where are you?" She looked around. She found herself backing into the
hallway, and as she turned, stepped on a very solid body, which made her
stumble and nearly fall. She looked down to see Don staring up at her. "Are
you...okay?" She knelt to his level, as he half lay, half sat against the
wall. He was holding one hand against his solar plexus as he carefully
inhaled.
"I'm okay," he said, barely audible. "Just feeling a little numb. I'll be
alright in a sec." He grunted as he heaved himself up onto his haunches.
"Leo gave me a good one, that's for sure. I didn't have time to react at
all. Must be slowing down..." He coughed experimentally.
"Don," Gaele felt him lean against her more and more, then he slumped against
her. "Don?"
He didn't respond, and she clung to his coat lapels to prevent his head from
colliding with the floor. She looked around, but the halls were empty and
quiet. What to do? Either wait and hope Don revived, or someone came along
to help. She lowered him carefully, and took up one of his wrists and counted
his radial pulse, feeling strangely calm, as though she were in a dream.
She jumped when someone touched her shoulder. "What happened?" Seth was bent
over her, as he stared at Don's unconscious face.
"I'm not really sure, but Don said Leo struck him... in the chest, I think,"
Gaele said evenly. "I don't know what happened, or why. Something went on
between them, that I couldn't really see."
Seth stared at Don, then at her. "I don't understand. Why would he hit Don?"
He closed his eyes and his mouth moved as he spoke too softly for Gaele to
hear. "I don't understand it at all... I thought it was all right," he said
after a moment.
"What is going on with Leo, Seth?" Gaele asked in a whisper, as though afraid
of being overheard.
Don's eyes rolled open and then focused on her. He took a few experimental
breaths, and sighed. "I'm okay, Gaele..." He slowly rolled to his knees,
and, braced by Seth, got to his feet. He reeled a little and held a hand
against the wall, head bowed. "How long has it been since I've been knocked
down like that... too long ago, getting too old for this sh-"
"Uncle," Seth said suddenly. "You need to go into the bedroom and rest."
It sounded more like an admonition than an offer, but Seth let Don lean heavily
against him, as they went down the hall to Seth's room, which was the closest.
"You can lie on my bed."
Don sat on the bed, and leaned his back against the wall. He closed his eyes
for a while, and Gaele sat beside him. Seth eventually sat on
the mat.
"Seth, it might be helpful if you could fill us in on what happened last
winter..."
"A lot of it is only between us, Uncle-"
"STOP calling me that," Don said sharply. "I'm not in the mood for
subtle word games, at the moment. Now, I believe this will be in everyone's
best interest if you can fill me in on any concerns you may have about Leo,
based on your observations of him over the course of your visit, last winter.
And I want it told in a straightforward manner."
Seth lowered his eyes, then brought them up to Don's again. "I don't know
why, but I'm afraid to discuss him."
"Afraid, or REFUSE?" Don's eyes hardened.
Seth swallowed. "I said what I meant... sir."
Don raised his head a little to squint at Seth, a moment. "All right," he
said at length. "I'm sorry. I spoke harshly... but I'm very concerned, Seth.
If Leo is going to lash out like that over a few poorly chosen words, then
something is very, very wrong."
"He doesn't seem to care about anything, any more. He's confused, we talked
a lot about spiritual things, and..." Seth said in a rush, then looked ashamed
of his sudden outpouring of words. Then he continued, more slowly. "I've
been praying fervently for him... I'm so concerned for his soul... "
Don closed his eyes. "Imagine that."
Seth looked thoughtful, then rose. "I have to find him, talk to him..."
"Take my word for it, Seth. If he wants to be found, he will find you. But
do not leave the monastery, not in the dark."
Seth nodded a sad acknowledgement, and left the room.
Gaele lowered the hand she realized was clutching at the collar of her sweater.
"Don, please, can't we just go, now? I can't stay here another night."
Don put an arm around her and held her close in a comforting embrace. "It's
too late to leave and get to the bottom of the mountain before dark,
my dear. It will be all right, we'll leave at first light tomorrow. In the
meantime, we will rest. I know I need to."
"Okay," Gaele said snuggling up to him more closely. "But I am NOT going
to be able to sleep at all... I'm getting a bad case of the creeps."
"You'll be all right, there's nothing to fear," Don said, as he pulled the
blanket over her shoulders.