Part 14: Deliverance
Seth was waiting patiently by the front gate of the monastery early the next
morning. Carrying a small, battered backpack, he fell in behind them without
a word. Don descended first, Gaele following, and Seth taking up the rear.
Gaele noticed Seth look back several times, until the monastery disappeared
behind a bend in the cliff path.
It was well into the afternoon when they reached the main road, which was
by now crowded with marketers on their way back and forth from the city.
An occasional, ornately painted truck or three wheeled motor cart ground
their way along the strip of tarmac they used for a road, blaring horns in
warning to the pedestrian traffic. Gaele winced at the noise and wanted to
hide, but she followed closely behind Don, looking only at his backpack.
It wasn't long before they were inside a building, which looked new compared
to the others, wreathed in the smoke and dust of the street. They climbed
a narrow flight of stairs, that led into a small apartment. It had an office
with a couple of computer terminals set up, a couple of bedrooms that led
from a central room, and an open kitchen. The place smelled of fresh
paint. A bathroom barely large enough for the fixtures and a shower stall,
was on the opposite end of the kitchen from the bedrooms. It all looked very
primitive to Gaele, but the place was at least well kept.
Sighing, she climbed out of her clothes in the larger of the bedrooms, and,
wearing only a bath towel, made her way to the shower, ignoring Seth's
disapproving look as she passed him. She could hear him in conversation with
Don over the hiss of the shower, but it was not loud enough to know what
they were saying.
When she emerged, feeling refreshed, she saw groceries had been delivered,
and Seth was busy cutting up vegetables and dropping them into a steamer.
A rice cooker was heating up nearby. Seth didn't look up at her as she passed,
wrapped in the now damp towel and hair dripping, towards the bedrooms.
Don was nowhere to be seen, and the other bedroom door was closed.
Gaele went into hers, and changed into a clean set of long johns. Then, after
wrapping her hair up in a loose turban, she climbed into bed and wearily
pulled the covers over her. She didn't realize how tired she was, until her
head settled on the pillow...
She woke to the sound of a tentative knock on her
door. The room was peach colored
from the evening sun, and she looked around in confusion. "Hello?"
"Gaele?" Seth's voice. "Sorry to disturb your rest, but I finished making
dinner, and thought you might be hungry."
"Oh! Yes, Seth, I am. Thank you." She climbed out of the warmth of the bed,
and pulled her sweater on, as she went out into the steamy fragrance of the
main room.
Don was already seated, and was pouring himself some tea. At his questioning
glance, she grinned and pointed to her cup.
"Did you have a good nap?" Don said.
"Yeah, too good. I actually forgot what planet I was on. " Gaele yawned as
she let Seth fill up her plate with stir fried vegetables and rice. "Nice
sunset, out there, huh?"
"And I supposed you thought the sun had gone down again," Don said as he
gave her a playful nudge.
"Ohhh, you. I thought I'd explained that to you already."
"You and your theories."
"You and YOURS."
Don chuckled in response.
Later, when dinner was over and Don was in the shower, Seth came over to
the couch where Gaele was sitting, trying to make sense out of a Chinese
tabloid. He looked at her a long moment, and she lowered the magazine. "What's
with you, Seth?"
He opened his mouth to speak, his eyes glowing with emotion, just as Don
appeared out of the bathroom, drying the back of his neck with a towel. He
grinned at them as he passed.
"Gaele," Seth's soft voice cut into her thoughts. He was leaning forward,
a stricken look in his eyes. "I feel a great need to speak with you about
something."
She suppressed the urge to roll her eyes, and only blinked at him. "What
is it, Seth?"
He glanced at the closed bedroom door. "I have a great concern for your sake,
about you-- co-habitating with him."
"Come on, Seth, I explained that to you, remember?"
"It's not that I don't believe you, Gaele," Seth said solemnly. "I'm sure
the both of you have the best of intentions. But... what about you staying
with him overnight? Being in such close proximity like that is an open temptation
for sexual immorality."
"Oh, come OFF it, Seth-"
"Gaele, even giving people the impression that you and he are living in sin,
is highly inappropriate. It could start all sorts of nasty rumors."
"SOME people will always find an excuse for nasty rumors, Seth. Besides,
even if we were, what would be so terrible about that? Maybe to YOUR guilty
mind it's a sin, but I don't believe that sharing yourself with another is
wrong, if you love-"
"I didn't say it was wrong," Seth cut in emphatically. "I said it was a sin.
It may be all right for you or me or the rest of the world, but it offends
God. He has His laws, and He expects all of us to learn and obey them. If
we don't, then we have to pay the consequences. I just don't want to see
that happen to you, or to Don, or to anyone else, for that matter."
Gaele fell silent . Though she had fully expected him to start spouting self
righteous Biblical quotations, his perspective caught her offside. She found
herself inspecting her cuticles.
"It's my duty to speak out on the truth of God's word, Gaele. With love.
It's not easy for me to do this. But I can't keep a candle under a bushel
basket."
"Seth, I appreciate you telling me this, but- it's not like that...
you see- oh, what's the use..." Suddenly she was tired, and wanted to go
to bed.
"This is only going to be said this once, Gaele... and then I will say no
more on the subject. But now you know."
"Yes, thank you, I will be aware of that, " Gaele said wearily, getting up
from the couch. "Goodnight, Seth."
"Good night... I will say a prayer on your behalf."
She turned back and smiled at him. "Thank you, Seth. I'd like that. And say
one for Don."
Seth pressed his lips together as though to inhibit an upsurge of emotion.
"Yes, of course."
As she lay in bed and listened to the night noises of the city outside, a
breeze gently rattled the screen on the outer edge of her window. Its rhythmic
sound gradually lulled her into sleep.
Something woke her. At first she lay still, slowly scanning the room, not
seeing anything out of place, in the dim light filtering through the curtains,
from the lone street lamp outside. The rattling screen was now silent. Then
the realization brought her to full awakening. She got up to look, and sure
enough, the screen was gone. Someone reached around from behind her,
and before she could react, one hand clamped over her mouth, and the
other pinned her arms to her waist in a powerful embrace. She was held so
firmly, she could neither move nor yelp. She grunted and managed to writhe
a little, but the effort was nearly too much, and her captor only increased
his grip on her so that her ribs creaked. She relaxed and stood still, heart
pounding.
"That's better," said a familiar voice, in her ear. His breath was warm,
and curiously acrid. "Now, can you keep quiet?"
She managed a nod.
"Good." She felt the grip on her slowly let up, and the hand came off of
her mouth. She turned and looked into Leo's pale eyes. His mouth held a
transparent, little smile. "Now, would you do something for me please?"
She swallowed. "Wh- what?"
"Don?" She stood in the doorway of his room in uncertainty, trying to see
into the darkness. She looked back and could see Seth lying motionless on
his bed in the living room. Leo seemed to have disappeared. "Don? Are you
awake?" Still no movement. "It's me, Gaele. I'm coming in, okay?"
She fought down the panic that threatened to overwhelm her, as she cautiously
approached the bed. She could make out the shape of his body under the quilt,
his outstretched arm as he lay on his side... a movement of air made her
jump, and out of the tail of her eye she saw a shadow flitting toward the
the doorway behind her. She sucked in her breath, and instinctively dived
behind the bed. Nothing, no sound, no movement. She leaped up and went toward
the doorway, and a loud thump startled her. Just as she reached the threshold,
a light went on. She squinted against the sudden brightness, and heard the
crash of something falling over.
Two figures were locked together in silent combat, one seemed to have the
upper hand, but Gaele couldn't tell who was who. Seth stood, open-mouthed,
by his bed. There was the sickening sound of someone's head connecting hard
with the concrete support between the kitchen and living room, and then as
quickly as it began, it was over.
Don stood up, breathing obscenities, as he glared down at Leo, who was lying
prone on the kitchen floor. "Sucker punching me, and now breaking into my
place and scaring Gaele half to death, Leo... that's about ALL the crap I'm
gonna take from you. UNDERSTAND?"
Leo slowly rolled into a sitting position. He was bleeding profusely from
a split lip.
Don looked up at Gaele. "Get a washcloth, will you?"
She grabbed one out of the closet, ran cold water over it, and handed it
to Don, who tossed it to Leo.
Leo leaned back against the wall, and carefully dabbed at his face.
"What do you WANT," Don snapped, kneading absently at his right hand, whose
knuckles were beginning to swell.
"To talk to you. Nothing else."
Don exchanged glances with Seth and Gaele, then looked incredulously at Leo.
"Why didn't you knock on the front door like most people? It would have been
the proper thing to do... or have you lost your manners along with your
SANITY?"
Leo finally looked up at Don. "I suppose it was untoward of me, only... I
wasn't sure how you would respond. Considering how you all think I'm
crazy..."
Don stared at Leo a long moment, then wearily leaned over and righted the
overturned table, and picked up some broken crockery. Seth then went
into action, and got out the broom, and cleaned up the rest of the mess,
as Don slowly went over to sit against the broad arm of the couch.
Leo stayed where he was. He had stopped bleeding, and leaned forward so that
his forearms hung over his knees, the bloody washcloth dangling from one
hand. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against one arm.
"I don't understand, Leo," Don said, leaning his elbows on his knees. They
both were in nearly identical positions. "I just don't understand what has
happened to you."
"Don't you?"
"I thought I did, I had faith in you, Leo. I was the only one who did, after
Master Splinter died. I thought you knew what you were doing, and I was not
afraid to let Seth go looking for you."
Leo said something Gaele didn't understand.
"NO, dammit! I want to hear it from you NOW. And I want you to say it for
Seth's... and Gaele's sake! You OWE it to them," Don snarled, and then
immediately lowered his head, as though the outburst wearied him. "Ah, never
mind... never mind, Leo. Forget it." He sighed and closed his eyes.
The room became very still, and Gaele moved as quietly as she could, to sit
next to Don, who was now sitting on the couch seat. Seth had settled into
a kitchen chair to closely watch his father. Moments passed, and then Leo
raised his head to look at Seth. Gaele could see where his upper eyelid was
swelling and turning purple, along with a scrape across his cheekbone and
upper lip, apparently from one of Don's blows, or the collision with the
wall... the swelling on his lip making his mouth go lopsided.
He sighed and spoke a long sentence of something, his voice a quiet monotone,
his words clear, but she couldn't place them... he got up onto his knees
and faced Don, as he lowered his head till it nearly touched the floor, still
speaking, and repeating some words, over and over. She finally realized in
her confusion that he was speaking Japanese. His voice faltered, and he went
silent, his head still lowered.
Don looked at him, eyes widening for an instant, and frowned slightly in
embarrassment. Then he muttered something in return, as he bowed to Leo.
She caught a phrase, "Shigata ga nai... "
She stared at them, her mind spinning. "Excuse me," she said, after a polite
amount of time had passed. "Could someone please explain what's going on?"
Leo impassively stared at his knees.
Don took a breath. "It seems Leo has admitted that he'd been indulging in
some strong drink, and was saying a ritual apology."
"A... ritual apology... oh. Right. I think."
"Yes, a ritual apology, and I owe you all an explanation." Leo said. He rose
and stepped back to sit in a nearby chair, and that is when Gaele noticed
his unsteadiness. Seth leaped up to move the chair closer, so his father
wouldn't fall over it. Leo looked behind him in surprise, and then carefully
sat down. He gazed at Seth and gave him a vague smile of gratitude, then
looked sheepishly at Don and Gaele.
"'A wise man acknowledges his foolishness, but a fool refuses wisdom'," Leo
said. "That was one of Splinter's favorites, I think."
"Yes, I believe it was," Don said, nodding.
"To think I've only been deceiving myself into thinking I am wise, after
all these years, when all I am is a fool."
Don said nothing.
"Perhaps I'm only losing my mind," Leo said calmly.
Don said nothing, but he was looking intently at Leo, his eyes filled with
sympathy.
"If only... I could tell you all, how much... it hurts... to be alive," Leo
said in a faltering voice.
"What are you trying to say, Father?" Seth asked, when no one else spoke.
"What am I trying to say?" Leo turned to stare at his son. "I am trying to
say, how much I wish this life were over."
"But don't you realize what you are saying-"
"Yes, Seth, yes, YES," Leo suddenly barked at him. "And I say that I want
to be DEAD." He slowly stood , his back to them, and rested his head on his
hand, against the tiled wall.
"Trapped... and what terrible thing did I do in my last life, to warrant
this kind of punishment, that I have to live in this miserable body that
doesn't age, and the chance to die an honorable death in battle, doing my
master's will, is now well out of reach? How long must I wait?"
"Then why haven't you done anything about it, Leo? If life is so unbearable,
why haven't you taken your life already?" Don's voice rang in Gaele's ears.
"Because... I asked our Master one day, that at the time of his passing,
'Sensei, might I please commit seppuku, since my duty to you- and therefore
my reason for living- has ended?'
"He turned his head toward me and said, 'No, my son. I forbid it! You must
live on, and live well. Now, go, and find your own path to true happiness.'
"I begged and pleaded with him, time after time, but he refused my requests
to the point of anger! So now he is gone, I am released from my duty, and
I am honor-bound to live on. But how I hate this life... I HATE it..."
"Why do you hate life, Leo?" Don asked, his voice gentle. "Or, is it that
perhaps... you hate yourself for being so weak, for finding that you are
not a god after all, but only an imperfect creature of flesh and blood?"
"We all have our weaknesses."
"Yes," Leo whispered, and laughed a little. "Yes, I see that, very clearly
now."
Don squinted at him. "Did not Splinter teach you to find balance?"
"Our master was wise, he knew the consequences of not finding balance. I
was a fool to think that I already had my own kind of balance."
"You would be a fool to continue in your self flagellation, Leo. Splinter
would be very displeased with you."
"I know."
"Then stop it," Don said gently.
Leo bit his lower lip, as though to hide a sudden upwelling of emotion. "I
miss him... so much," he whispered.
"So do I, Leo, so do I." Don got up and approached Leo, his hands out as
though to herd his brother toward him, and they embraced.