Gaele!

Part 15: Strife

So far, this trip has been the strangest I've ever seen, Gaele scribbled angrily in her journal. It's as though it were a dream, like the ones would get when I got sick with a fever, and even when I was awake, couldn't tell where the nightmare ended and reality began. And I know it has to do with Leo. I can't put my finger on it, but he's got something attached to him that hides its identity from us, but Leo knows it very well. I don't know whether to feel sorry for him or just be incredibly annoyed. I think he's going to drive me nuts, with the way he sits around, doing nothing, and how Don and Seth make such a fuss over him... what is their problem, anyway?

"What's your problem, Gaele?" Don had taken her into her room and sat her on her bed after her most recent outburst aimed in Leo's direction.
"He's driving me CRAZY."
"I'm sorry to hear that, but we are trying to-"
"I know, I know, you've only told me a thousand times. How many more times do I have to hear it?"
Don sighed. "As many times as you insist on behaving like a self centered, spoiled little girl. I'm getting tired of your temper tantrums."
"Yeah? Well, do you expect me to just SIT around here, day after day, twiddling my thumbs while that IDIOT gets his head together?"
"Hmm. Okay... Why don't you just start packing and go on home, then? "
"Right now?"
"Yes, right now."
"But... what about you?"
"Why be concerned about me? Just consider yourself."
Gaele glared at him, swallowing at the tightness in her throat. "Well gee, thank you, Don. I appreciate your support."
"You are welcome," he replied in a matching tone.
"So you expect me to make a thirteen thousand mile journey alone?"
"You'll be perfectly safe, my dear, there will be plenty of security. Besides, at this moment, I would pity anyone who attempts to mess with you. "
"Oh, very funny."
Don stared at her, his face hardening. "I think not."
"Yeah? Well I'll tell you something, this whole THING is a joke. I think I made a big mistake coming out here with you."
Don's face had become a mask of indifference, but Gaele's practiced eye could read his extreme agitation. He then sighed. "You may very well be right, Gaele. Now if you will excuse me, I have business to attend to." He gave her a tight little smile and a polite nod, and walked out.
"Seth, see Gaele gets her ride to the airport," she heard Don say in an offhand tone, and then there was the sound of the front door opening and shutting quietly.
It took several minutes for Gaele to stop trembling with pent up rage and hurt, but then she took a deep breath, and began stuffing her things into her pack. "Fine with me," she muttered half to herself. "I don't need this crap, I really don't. And I don't need HIM to tell me what to do, either."

She barely remembered the rest of the trip, and when she arrived home, she made it obvious to everyone that she was in no mood to answer questions, and wanted to be alone, and she finally settled into her room and later fell asleep in the bathtub.
When she went downstairs that evening to get something to eat, she saw Mike and Rahab at the kitchen table, talking urgently together in voices too low for her to make out. They stopped when they saw her.
"Honey, are you all right," Rahab asked anxiously. "You look exhausted."
"I'm okay," Gaele said, opening the fridge to forage for leftovers.
"You aren't sick, are you?" Mike peered thoughtfully at her.
"I said, I'm FINE," Gaele got out a bowl of cole slaw and set it on the counter a little harder than she meant to.
"Then what's the story, babe?"
Gaele closed her eyes. "I don't think you want... oh, the HELL with it... you're probably gonna hear it all later anyway, so I guess you should hear my side of it, first." She dished out a little salad, and sat down with it at the kitchen table. Between bites, she told them the story in an offhand manner, as though it didn't really matter to her.
"Well," Rahab said, after Gaele had finished her story. "I'm glad to see you home safely, though I'm surprised Don would allow you to travel so far by yourself."
"It was his car, his plane, there was no danger," Gaele said, shrugging. "He obviously wasn't worried about it, anyway."
Mike looked very unhappy. "Gaele, I understand you were feeling miserable, but I suggest you e-mail Don an apology. Also, one to Leo. Referring to him as an 'idiot' is not acceptable, and I know you could have handled it a lot better than you did."
Rahab turned to him. "That may be so, but I'm not terribly happy with Don's reaction, either. HE could have handled it better than to just boot her out like that."
"Gaele's old enough to know better-"
"So is DON. HE should NEVER have let her travel back ALONE!"
Mike closed his mouth firmly at Rahab's retort. He gave her a long look, and then got up. "I'm not going to take part in this mess, they are BOTH at fault, as far as I'm concerned." He stalked out of the kitchen.
Rahab glared at his retreating back.

Later that night, Gaele headed back down the stairs to get another snack, after another nap. She heard her parents' voices drifting up to the hallway, louder than usual. She heard the tail end of the conversation, before Mike stomped out the back door.
"They are NOT coming here," Rahab had snapped. "Seth is the ONLY exception. I'll not have any trouble in THIS house."
"Why shouldn't I have my own brothers over in my own home?"
"Out of consideration for-"
"FINE. Then we'll meet somewhere ELSE," Mike had growled, as he was leaving.
"Fine with ME," Rahab muttered, as the door closed.
"Hi," Gaele said meekly, feeling contrite, as though this whole thing was her doing.
"Hello." Rahab picked up her cup of tea and sipped it, as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened. "Did you get some rest?"
"Yes, I feel a lot better," Gaele said, sighing. "Amazing what a nap can do."
"I know of some other people who could use one, " Rahab muttered half to herself.
"I'm sorry you and Dad are fighting," Gaele said, pouring herself some tea from the pot.
"It's not much, I think he's overdue to get away for a little male bonding thing, anyway."

Gaele noticed when the car arrived the next afternoon, that only Seth emerged from it. He stooped and spoke to someone in the interior, and then took his pack from the chauffeur who had retrieved it from the trunk. From her vantage point at her bedroom window, When Gaele saw Don's pack was also in the trunk, she then realized that Don was not going to stop in, after all.
Fine, be that way, she said silently to Don, as the car turned and disappeared down the driveway. I don't need your presence to feel complete, and if you think I'm going to be the one to initiate an apology, you're dead wrong.
She thought that by saying this, she would feel better, but the hurt remained. She dejectedly went downstairs to look for Seth. He was in the garden, talking to Rahab. Apparently they had just hugged, and then Seth looked up.
"Gaele," he said, gesturing to her to come over. "It's good to see you again."
"It's good to see you, too. So, how long will you be staying?"
Rahab gave her a look that she couldn't interpret.
"Oh," Seth said, rubbing nervously at his chin. "I plan to stay until the beginning of August, then rejoin Father in Nepal."
"I'm sorry to hear it," Gaele muttered, ignoring her mother's second look.
Seth smiled a little at Gaele, but his eyes were sad. "Gaele, I'm sorry if there has been so much trouble... I feel responsible for it."
"It's not your fault, Seth," Gaele said, protesting.
"I feel it is. If it weren't for my stubbornness, you wouldn't have had to wait so long, and the upsets could have been avoided. Father was also very contrite, he apologizes for disturbing the harmony between you and Don."
"Gee, how awfully NICE of him."
Seth sighed and studied the hills beyond the garden a moment. "I believe he is still in a learning phase, reaching a point of new emergence, like a butterfly coming out from its chrysalis."
"Who knows what that will turn out to be, " Rahab said quietly, looking at her hands in her lap. "In all honesty, I'm glad he didn't come here."
Gaele stood up. "I'm also glad Don didn't come up to the house. Even to apologize to ME."
Seth gave her a puzzled look, but said nothing.

When Seth went to join his uncles, Gaele's self-righteous anger wore off, and gave way to overwhelming guilt. Maybe this whole thing was her fault... but somehow, she didn't feel she could apologize. Was it pride? Maybe she and Don had gotten too close, and maybe it was causing friction in the family. Maybe he had decided it was better to stay his distance, in all but the most basic of formalities.  Was it possible he realized the inappropriateness in being around her too much?
With this thought, she climbed back into bed and cried until she fell asleep.

It was the last weekend before she was to go back to Cornell, and she and Devon and a couple of other friends were camping, pitching their tents among the majestic redwoods, and gathering around a small brick fireplace where they were roasting marshmallows and singing comical ditties they had made up. Gaele had been laughing in near hyterics along with her friends, when she heard the sound of a car making its way up the dirt access road not far below their camp. She stood up. A Range Rover had pulled up behind Devon's new Jeep.
"Who is it," Devon asked, looking across the fire at her.
"Daddy, I think. I'll go see what he wants." She picked up a flashlight and carefully made her way down the short but steep path that led to the road.
When she saw it was Don, her heart leaped in a mixture of dismay, surprise, and elation. "Oh, hello," she said, trying to sound as offhand as she could.
"Evening, Gaele."
"How are you?"
"Quite well, thank you."
They stood in silence a minute or so, and she heard him sigh.
"And... how are YOU," he finally asked.
"Just fine."
"And the rest of your summer break?"
"It was nice. I go back to school on Wednesday."
"Ah, yes, of course. Did you get the classes you wanted?"
"Oh, yes. It worked out just fine."
Don nodded, and his feet scuffed a little at the loose pine needles.
"And... how was YOUR summer," she asked.
He raised his head to look at her in the semidarkness. "Busy... always busy. I stopped in for a few to see your Dad, but I'm on my way to Europe tonight."
"That's understandable. You have your uh, business stuff to attend to."
"Gaele..." His voice softened. "I don't have much time... so I'll just be straightforward. I felt terrible after you left Nepal."
Gaele said nothing in reply. Her throat seemed to have suddenly closed up.
"Regrettably, my anger got in the way, and I admit I treated you very badly. I should have met up with you as soon as Seth and I were stateside, and we could have talked this out a long time ago."
"But there were more urgent things to attend to, it seems," Gaele said, recovering her voice.
"At the time, I thought so. I was wrong to keep my silence, Gaele."
"How do you know I would have wanted to talk to YOU, Don?"
He paused, and Gaele wondered what sort of expression he had on his face. It was too dark, now. "In that case, it was just as well." He sat back against a boulder, so that he was in a lower position than her. "Just as well that I took my time. Surely your anger has dissipated over the course of a few weeks."
"Sure, and it really wasn't all that difficult, Don. And you know, after thinking on this a while, I'm beginning to think Seth was right. I think the way we've been hanging around each other does look inappropriate."
Don was silent a moment. He then exhaled audibly, as though struggling to keep his composure. "All right. I understand your feelings on this. You need to have your own life. I've no right to interfere with that."
"Don," Gaele said, feeling contrite. "It's not that I don't care about you... I do. I'll even go so far as to say that I love you, very much. And maybe that is the problem. Too much emotional stuff in the way. "
"Maybe so."
"It's just that... if you look at it this way... our relationship is pretty unusual. Would be one thing if you really were my father, like Leo is to Seth, but everyone knows you aren't... and so they draw other conclusions."
"That is very unfortunate, as I would not treat you in any other manner than what is honorable."
"As a friend?"
Don nodded. "As a friend."
"Sometimes I think..." Gaele swallowed against a surge of emotion. "No, I know... that you are the best friend I have ever had."
"And there is no doubt in my mind that I can say the same about you."
Gaele frowned into the darkness. "I just wish that you didn't have to be away so much. I wish too that I could  for once initiate when we could meet, sometimes I feel as though I need to call and make an appointment just so I can spend time with you. Like I'm just another name entered into your appointment scheduler."
"Ouch... point well taken," Don muttered. "I realize how much that bothers you."
"I don't like having to share you with the rest of the world all the time, Don. Or even with your brothers. That's one of my weaknesses, I guess. Maybe its that innate insecurity I have about being so different from other people, never feeling completely at ease until you are around."
"Gaele, that is something I myself have had to struggle with... often I feel alone out there in the world, and yet I have learned to cope... and yes, you can find people who you can learn to trust to a degree, and be friends with, who are more interested in who you truly are and how you think, than what you look like.  Then again, there will also be people who will be prejudiced, and will treat you with disdain and often outright hostility, solely based on their inability to accept your physical appearance. If you want to be more independent,  and make a difference in this world, that is a cross you must be willing to bear."
She sighed. "Then... that's something I need to work on... and in the meantime, I have my studies to continue."
Don took her hand in his, and firmly held it. "Good. That is the most important thing right now... your school work. But... don't neglect your social life. You need to find that balance, even away from the security of home and your childhood friends."
"Okay, I'll work on that, too. So when will I get to see you again?"
"Can't say for certain. I get back to the States, I'll contact you." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead.
"Okay."
He turned  to leave.
"Don?"
When he looked back at her, she stepped forward, and skidded, nearly losing her balance, until he caught her. They ended up in an awkward embrace, and then she burst out laughing.
"What?" Don asked, in an amused tone, as he set her upright.
"Oh, don't mind me, I just feel really good right now. I'm just glad you aren't going to abandon me."
"Abandon you? Never."
"I love you."
Don laughed in response. "And I love you. Be well, dear Gaele."
"I will. Take care of yourself."
Don then gave her a gentle pat on the side of her face, and walked down the path to the car. She didn't move until the taillights disappeared around a turn in the road, and then she sighed again, and belatedly remembering she had a flashlight, turned it on.
"Who WAS that," she heard Devon say above her.
"Don."
"Thought so. You'd never hug dear old Daddy like THAT." His sardonic grin appeared in the circle of light.
"I SLIPPED."
"Yeah right. Oldest trick in the book."
"Devon, do me a favor, will you? After you leave home and spend some time in the real world, among total strangers, you and I can pick this conversation up again, okay? In the meantime, shut UP."
"Say what?"
"Oh never mind, you big doofus. C'mon." She gave him a playful punch as they climbed up the path.

Gaele16

Gaele's Page