CHAPTER FOUR
REFLECTIONS OF THE WINDOW
APRIL'S TALE

AUGUST 17, 2045
MANHATTAN, NEW YORK

She stared out the window at the dark night sky; silently studying the twinkle of the stars as her thoughts turned to them. Although she hadn't heard from them in years, April strangely found a renewed interest in the Turtles lately. It was almost as if some unseen force was tugging at her mind, forcing her to remember long lost thoughts she'd rather forget. Naturally, she brought herself back to that day when her whole life changed, again.

"Splinter's... dead..." Raph barged in, his face full of anger and such... guilt. But he couldn't stay long, being as uneasy as he was. Raph didn't really bother to say good bye, like he might have intended. He hadn't even told anyone where he was going, or if he'd ever be back.

April knew why now.

The pain, the feeling of guilt had been too much for him. He'll be back. She had kept telling herself over and over, but as the days turned to weeks, and weeks to months, April realized that she had been mistaken.

Finding out that Raphael had been working for the Foot didn't help anything. She remembered how Casey had reacted at finding out the news. He thought the Foot was helping those gangsters get Shadow, and that Raph was helping them. April realized later that the Foot was trying to do away with Antoine, through using Shadow. They were trying to help them for once. But what hit even harder, was that Gabrielle was related to the gangsters. They merely wanted their own flesh and blood back. April and Casey thus were summoned into many long court battles, trying to legally claim her as theirs. They didn't win a hundred percent though. After a given number of years, Shadow had the opportunity to go and live with her "real" family.

April sighed, changing thoughts away from that. Too real... too depressing. Back to the Turtles... it had taken her a long time to get over the rat's death too. Ever since her own dad had passed away, he had been like a surrogate father to her. She had always looked up to him for his insight and wisdom, his gentle, caring face. Splinter had always known what to do. Now he was gone. A horrible void had emerged upon her, filling her soul with a vast emptiness that, try as she might, she had not been able to fill. An emptiness the others feel all the worse, I imagine. Did they ever get over it?

"But that was so long ago," she told herself out loud, for some added reassurance. April rubbed her forehead, just once thinking of a happier thought. Their own son, Michael. Just having him helped her fill over most of the pain left from the lost of the Turtles and Splinter, as well as Shadow. Michael also had that optimistic energy, so much like Michaelangelo. But she never told him of them. Not even once.

Shadow had never gotten over Mike's disappearance, though. The two had barely gotten to say good-bye to one another before he walked out of their lives. Don had already left to bury their dead master, leaving only Leonardo behind to try to pick up the pieces of their broken hearts. Leo tried to hold his ground in New York, to keep residence in his sewer home with the hopes his brothers would return. But they never did, and eventually, he too ventured away to start a new life.

Sighing, she stepped away from the window and slumped down on the couch, her thoughts on Shadow, her beloved stepdaughter, and the one thing that had kept Casey going through all of the hurt. But as Shadow got older; she took advantage of her rights. One night she didn't come home, and they had never seen her since. Shadow didn't even bother to tell them goodbye before she left them. Casey made himself believe she just ran away, and got kidnapped. He didn't want to think she went to her real family. But the truth of the matter was that she decided to be with her real family.

April still had a feeling way down in the pit of her soul that Shadow was doing okay, even though she had not received a letter or anything from her since then.

Casey hadn't been the same person since Shadow left. Sure, he was still her husband, and he still cared for Michael, but she could tell that his heart just wasn't into life anymore. He had gone for days without eating after her disappearance, becoming more grown quiet and withdrawn. He also drank more and more alcohol to deaden his melancholy.

She couldn't stand this drinking. Almost all his paycheck went toward the liquor. Casey cared more about Jack Daniel's than he did for her. The drug had changed him, made him into something that he was not. He had come home on many occasions drunk and angry, lashing out at her with tormenting accusations. Casey also appeared more upset over losing Shadow, which he hardly cared for there own son. It almost seemed to April that the only reason he liked Shadow is that he still loved Gabrielle more than her. April felt her self grow tense upon recalling his response to that...

"It's your fault she left! You never loved her!" Casey stood up so roughly from the kitchen table, he knocked the chair backwards. "It's cause you're jealous of her, of Gabrielle, huh? You think I love Shadow only cause she reminds me of her! Dammit, April!" Casey rushed out the door.

The words had hurt her, cut deep into her soul. She had loved Shadow as much as if she had been her own child. There was nothing she wouldn't have done for her. And she was jealous that it seemed Casey loved Gabrielle more, but it was something she coped with. Much later that evening, April received a phone call from a deputy regarding an auto accident Casey was in.

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she thought back to that horrible night. Agonized visions flashed through her mind... the wrecked vehicles...the ambulances...the blood. She had gotten the phone call almost past eleven o' clock. April rushed to the scene; just in time to see a body bag on a stretcher carried into one of the ambulances. The EMS people were still trying to free a child's body pinned in twisted metal from the demolished mini van. But her eyes froze on their '57 Chevy, the hood popped up and the front end barely crushed in. Casey--that drunk son of a bi-- She closed her eyes, breathing deeply as she forced those memories away. She wouldn't do this. That night helped turned him around, so she won't let herself get riled up about that. Casey is much better now; he's so much better than before. Almost...

He's gonna go blind... Blind. The word sounded foreign to her, unreal. It made her realize just how old they are now. How much more vulnerable they are to death. But yet.. what a life we have lived...

April stood slowly and walked to the hallway mirror, staring at her reflection for a moment. She had kept her gray hair shoulder length, the wrinkles of age defining her delicate features. Everything had changed, even her looks. Staring hard at herself again, she noticed the slight twinkle in her aged eyes. I'm not licked yet, she thought to herself as some of the old spunk returned. Things are gonna be okay. They have to. I want it to at least end on a good note.

Abruptly, the pulse from her videophone alerted her. April brought her senses back to reality. She walked over to the computer and hit the "answer" button. The monitor came to life, as an image of Michael appeared. April smiled as she clicked on the speaker.

"'llo, mom! How are ya? We're planning another vacation, and thought we should stop by NYC to visit. Rachel and Jeremy can't wait to see you again..."

April smiled, to hide all her previous concern, before getting her word in edgewise...

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