Chapter 8
Silence
Selana was uncomfortable with Raphael's angry stare. She had finally told him the truth about who she was and what she was. She knew that he would not want to see her again.
" How could you lie like that to me ?" He asked angrily. Everyone except her sisters had their eyes on her. Her sisters backed off and turned away from the turtles. It was not their business.
" I didn't mean to." She answered softly. She looked down at the ground. Tears welled her eyes, but she held them back. This was painful for her. She had lost so much and now she knew that she was going to loose more.
" That's just great Selana ! Or should I say the Black Tiger ?! You used me ! You bitch !" He yelled.
" I didn't use you !" She shot back. Anger and grief were building up inside her. She just wanted to throw herself onto him and make him hold her close again. She wanted to kiss him the way she used to, but she knew that he would never settle for it.
" Oh really ? Then what the hell were you doing ? You attack Mike and me. Then you terrorize us at our home and then you decide to disappear and show up as Selana who pretended all this time that she loved me. Now how is that not using me ?" She could see the anger in his eyes. Almost like the dark fire that burned in her fathers when he hit her again and again and again. The hurt within his brown eyes had disappeared or was just hiding from her. She couldn't look into his eyes long enough to tell. She turned away, not knowing what to say. She had never meant to hurt them, but she wanted to love someone and be loved.
" I wasn't using you." She said softly. Raphael just remained silent with that same dark look on his face. Leonardo was glaring at her like he always did, but she could see a darker look in his eyes now.
" Where is our Master Splinter ?" He asked angrily.
" Katana took him to a safe place down the hill. She will take you there when you go." They looked at Katana, who just nodded and turned back around.
Raphael turned back to Selana.
" I wish you hadn't used me. I wouldn't hate you like I do now if you hadn't done it." He said harshly.
" I never meant to hurt any of you. I didn't want to use you. That was never my intension. I just wanted....." Love she thought in silence, since she just couldn't seem to get the words out. Nothing was right any more. She thought back to what her job was. She had things to finish. Suddenly an evil desire crept up on her and she looked at the lab building.
You should never had made me what I am today. I am going to make all of you feel just the way I did. No love and no mercy.
" I don't want to see you ever again." Raph said, cutting through her train of thought. She looked at him with a look of pain in her eyes that pierced his heart. He looked into her eyes and saw the girl he had come to love. He almost wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her close and tell her how much he loved her, but he couldn't. He looked at her black clothes and remembered the mask that covered her face and made her eyes red. His look turned dark and cold. She heaved a sigh and knew what she had to do. There was nothing left for her anyway.
" You all should leave here now." She said softly. But her look was not that soft. He could tell that she was angry. That she wanted to hurt someone. Mikey stood next to Don and felt used too. He had liked her as a friend and she turned out to be the very same person that had attacked him and called him a freak. His expression was dark, but not like that of Raphael and Leonardo. Donatello just glared, but the others were angry with her.
" And where are these chicks supposed to go ?" Raph asked. The other girls didn't move at all.
" I don't know. But I want them out of here and to be safe." Leo looked at Katana. He felt strange suddenly. He almost wanted to take her into his home, but what if she was like Selana. All though it didn't seem like she was anything close to it.
" You need to leave now." Selana said more harshly.
" And why should we ? Do you think we are not able to handle ourselves ?" Leo asked.
" Listen you asshole ! This place is going down and if you don't want to be a part of it, then I suggest you get the fuck out of here !" Raphael got into her face.
" And what do you think your going to do ?!"
" What do you think ?!" She growled. His brothers and her sisters started to walk while Selana and Raphael argued. She starred deep into his eyes. His face was stern and his jaw was set in a line. She could tell he was doing everything he could to stop from yelling and screaming at her.
She looked down for a moment and then back up to his eyes.
" Raphael.....I didn't mean to hurt you." She said softly.
" Why would I be hurt ? I don't care anymore. I don't love you so it doesn't matter to me." The words hit her as hard as they hit him the second he said them. He knew that he was lying. No matter who she was, he did love her. It was already too late. She was still the person that he had fallen in love with, even if she was also the person he had come to hate.
" Well I don't care if you don't love me." She said. The pain in her words was obvious as she held back the tears. She came forward and before he could back away, she kissed his mouth softly. He let her soft lips touch his in a gentle kiss. The tears were starting to come to his eyes as he thought about all that was happening and the thought of losing her. She was the only one that had loved him for who he was. She rested her head briefly against his cheek and whispered.
" I love you Raphael." He sucked in a sharp breath. She pulled away long enough to look into his eyes one last time and then her face went pale. She backed up and he heard a low growl come from her throat. Her eyes turned red once more and she put the mask back over face.
" Just pretend that we never met. Pretend that Selana never existed. Soon that will be exactly the case. Leave now."
" Selana..." He said in almost a pain filled voice. She looked at him and even in her red eyes, for one last time he saw love. But she backed away.
" Leave now Raphael ! Or your life will be the one to pay the price." She hissed before disappearing into the building and shutting the door. He looked for one last moment and then took off for the woods.
He caught up with his brothers and the girls. They looked at him.
" Where is Selana ?" Melana asked, almost frightened.
" She decide to go nuts on me again and go back in there with an attitude." Raphael said as if he didn't care. But deep down he did. He hurt more now than he ever did within his whole entire life. Melana looked back to where the building was. It was far in the distance, but she could see it. Katana remained silent along with Sunny. Mike stood next to Sunny, but didn't talk to her.
Selana tore at every person that got into her way.
" Father !" She knew that he wasn't there. He was somewhere else. But she wanted to yell at anyone about anything.
" You just wait ! Your day will come for what you have done. Even if that means my life in the process !" But right now, she was going to sacrifice her life to destroy this place and save everyone else's. Then a sudden pain cursed through her stomach. It had happened a few times, but she had ignored it. Now she wondered. But when it happened again. She knew.
She went to the electrical box and pulled wires. Sparks flew then it caught fire. She had poured gas everywhere and knew that the place would be going down soon. She didn't have much time to get out and she knew she probably wouldn't. Before taking off, she touched her stomach.
" I guess the two of us are going down." She whispered.
Melana and everyone else spun around to see the building go up in flames and explode.
" NO !" Melana was going to dash for the building, but Donatello grabbed her. She struggled to get free, but he wouldn't let her go.
" You can't go back." He said in her ear. Sunny let out a whimper of shock as she starred out to the building. Mike couldn't help it. He came close to her and held her near him. She may have been a sister to an enemy, but she wasn't like Selana. Katana was the only who wouldn't let anyone near her. She stood in silence as she starred at the building. With her cat like vision, she could see burned bodies that were not even identifiable and pieces of animals. But she couldn't see Selana. But she did see her black suit on the ground; burning. Katana lowered her head.
The turtles turned and started to hike their way home. Raphael remained silent also. It was hard for him to think of Selana gone up in the flames. She had loved him. She gave him the chance that no one else had ever dared. He held back the tears as he walked along with his brothers. Splinter then appeared from behind a tree and Leonardo was the first to engulf him with a hug. Raph just lingered about, not wanting to say anything. Splinter looked at him.
" I sense your lost, Raphael."
" It doesn't matter." He said absently. Melana glared at him, but then let up. She guessed it was understandable. Selana did keep that dark secret for a while and it did hurt them. But now she was gone. She turned away only to see Donatello starring at her. She looked into his brown eyes for a brief moment and then turned away. Donny; feeling stupid and embarrassed turned and went to Splinter. Melana let the tears stream her cheeks.
" We will take them to our home." She heard the rat say. But she was too lost in her own world. She loved her sister. Selana was mean sometimes and was the most dangerous out of them all, but she was her twin. She longed for her sister. Selana had always tried to protect them and give them what she could. Train them to fight against enemies. She wanted them to do good, not bad.
" Let's start back to the house." Leo said. But there was a noise that stopped them all. They all looked around.
" Could Selana be alive ?' Mike asked.
" No." Katana answered. The noise came again. They all looked up to the cliff side. There stood the beautiful gray stallion that Selana had rode. But she wasn't on his back. He stood tall with the wind blowing his mane and tail back. He looked like a silver beauty standing in the wind. That horse was all that Selana had left behind that she had rightfully owned. Mystic Illusion suddenly reared. His powerful hooves pawed the air and a loud shrilling whinny could be heard clear throughout the mountains. Raphael admired him as he stood proudly. But the horse was lost. Where would he go ? Raphael almost felt compelled to call the horse to him, but he knew that Selana was the only one who knew how. Suddenly the horse's ears pricked forward and he whinnied one last time, before he took off down the cliff side. His silver beauty disappeared behind the mountain side and he wondered if he would ever see the horse again. Where had he gone ? He lowered his head.
" Where do you suppose Illusion went ?" Mike asked to no one in particular.
" Who knows. He would have come to us. But I guess something else caught his attention. Or maybe he knows that Selana is gone and he is confused. Perhaps he went to look for her." Sunny finally said.
" Yea, well he can't find what isn't there." Melana said. Raph looked at her and felt her pain, but he had that feeling that his was worse. She may be Selana's sister, but he had never been loved before by anyone until Selana came along. He lost the girl that cared. It was so hard for him to believe that Selana was dead.
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