7Merry Christmas, Turtle-Fans! It's been a while, and I know that I will never be able to top "Santatello", but I couldn't let the holiday go by without one little attempt to write a tiny little slice of holiday life for my favorite ninja!
"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" are the property of Viacom/Nickelodeon. "It's Friday" is the property of either Rebecca Black or Arc Music, but I have to admit, I could care less.
"Just a Sentimental Christmas Song"
"It's Christmas, Christmas
Gotta get down on Christmas
Everybody's lookin' forward to the presents, presents
Christmas, Christmas
Gettin' down on Christmas
Everybody's lookin' forward to the presents"
Leonardo wracked his brain as he strived to prevent the inevitable beat down that Michelangelo was courting.
From the moment they'd made the final plans "to spend Christmas at the farmhouse, through the entire ride up here, and throughout the unpacking, Mike was determined to turn that annoying "It's Friday" song into an even more annoying Christmas song, whether that was his conscious plan or not.
"Cleansing breaths! Cleansing breaths!" he urged with a hopeful and sincere smile on his face. He immediately began the slow, deliberate motions of taking deep cleansing breaths, peering through one barely opened eye to see if he was being joined in this calming technique.
"Yesterday was Christmas Eve, Christmas Eve
Today is Christmas, Christmas (Partyin')
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today
Tomorrow is Boxing Day
And … something else… comes after...wards
I don't want this holiday to end."
He'd been working and reworking the lyrics and beat until Leonardo could hear it in his dreams. Still, he was more concerned with containing the mental health of the one before him.
"Here, this is the Bose® QuietComfort® 15 Acoustic Noise Cancelling® Headphones Casey got for your Christmas present," Donatello offered. "I was gonna wrap them for you in that nice paper you like, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind your having them before Christmas!"
"H-M, Hamato Mike
So chillin' in the front seat (In the front seat)
In the back seat (In the back seat)
I'm drivin', cruisin' (Yeah, yeah)
Fast lanes, switchin' lanes
Wit' a sled up on my side (Woo!)
(C'mon) Passin' by is reindeer in front of me..."
"Seriously, let's go for a nice walk in the woods, what do you say?" Leo urged, offering to get their coats. "We still need to pick out the Christmas tree, and you know you love the smell of the forest at this time of year!"
"Why not just let me beat the crap outta him?" asked Raph from the corner of the room. "That would be quick and easy, and it would save ya the trouble of doin' it."
"No, my son. After all, this is a special time of Peace on Earth, goodwill toward all," Splinter tiredly reminded Raphael with a forced patience in his sigh. "Michelangelo is Michelangelo. It is easier to stop the Sun from rising than dampen his Christmas spirit. And besides, I doubt I could stomach a return to his 'Christmas, Turtle-Style' attempt." Then he turned to April, who was the one about to blow her top. "Shall we retreat to the woods?"
"Yes… the sooner the better," she replied, already on her way to the door. But she turned at the threshold and pointed an already mittened hand in the direction of upstairs. "But I swear, if that caterwauling is still going on when we get back, I will personally see to it that he sings falsetto for the rest of his LIFE!"
Slam! She was gone before Splinter could finish putting on his boots.
"Make sure you keep hold of the axe at all times, Sensei," Raph advised. "Don't let her even touch it."
Splinter, hastening to follow the redhead (and keep her from walking all the way back to New York City), allowed himself a brief smile—and then his ears flattened at a particularly LOUD reprise of the chorus.
"It's CHRISTMAS, CHRISTMAS
Gotta get down on CHRISTMAS
Everybody's lookin' forward to the PRESENTS, PRESENTS"
"Raphael, come with us," Splinter commanded, jamming his cap well-down over his ears. "I will need help. And I do not want you to fall into temptation."
"CHRISTMAS, CHRISTMAS
Gettin' down on CHRISTMAS
Everybody's lookin' forward to the PRESENTS"
"We'll come along, too," Don and Leo were already dressed and beating the others out the door.
And Hamato Michelangelo, blissfully unaware of the danger he'd put himself into, sang on, buoyed by the knowledge that it was once again Christmas, his favorite time of year.