137This is a very long chapter but I just don't think I can split it properly.
Ninja Turtles are ™ and © by Mirage. I am ™ and © by myself.
Stalking the Green-Eyed Monster
IV. TACTICAL DISPOSITIONS
1. Sun Tzu said: The good fighters of old first put
themselves beyond the possibility of defeat, and then
waited for an opportunity of defeating the enemy.
2. To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our
own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy
is provided by the enemy himself.
3. Thus the good fighter is able to secure himself against defeat,
but cannot make certain of defeating the enemy.
4. Hence the saying: One may know how to conquer
without being able to do it.
Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Leonardo was certainly getting his fair share of stalking practice in today. So far he had trailed his brother to three of his eleven secret hiding places. First had been The Loft of Solitude (where Leo had earned many a scraped knuckle and a sore tail to boot trying to scale the wall), followed by The Cave of Solitude (another old, abandoned side-tunnel, again sealed off at one end, but thankfully no climbing was involved- however, there was an abundance of cobwebs in the dark, and Leo had nearly had a Raph-like reaction after walking face-first into at least twenty-seven of them within a matter of seconds). Now their journey led them to the Pool of Solitude.
The Pool of Solitude was located in a section of the old old really old subway system, in what used to be a station waiting room. Extremely dimly lit by a few lucky sunbeams that managed to slip through the filthy unseen windows from far above, plus the odd electric light that still miraculously worked, it was all dust and rubble and rust and broken furniture and neglect and crumble and decay- in other words, the bestest playground around!
There had been a fountain at one time, and though it no longer worked, it had still managed to remain filled with relatively clean water.
Splinter had found it years ago, and with great effort had made the place safe for four curious turtle-tots. Then he had taken them all there when they were just three and taught them to "swim".
Now it was known as Secret Hiding Place Number Four (as marked on Splinter's map). There were many good dark and sheltering places for a ninja to take advantage of, and Leo did just that, taking refuge behind what used to be an information counter, as Mike settled in for a vigorous session of "Secret Agent Mikey: Hero of the United States of America".
For the life of him, Leo could not figure out how Mike had developed such a vivid and varied imagination. From superhero to secret agent to damsel in distress (don't ask), Michelangelo was never at a loss for story ideas. It puzzled them all greatly.
I mean, we all make up stuff, but Mike is ... well... EXTRA-good at it. Why is that?
Donatello, reading a book about some great leader named Churchill, once said that Mike was like Russia; he was a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.
Leo still wasn't sure what that implied, but Splinter had evidently thought that Donatello had said Something Clever, for he had chuckled for many minutes afterwards while rewarding the brainy turtle with a gold star "for extra-credit".
Leo had wasted no time in reading that book once Don was finished.
Mike, meanwhile, pulled from a "locker" (i.e. a box under one of the many broken chairs that littered the place) an old, oversized coat (his trench coat as he called it, but it was more like a sports jacket, and a really ugly black and gray zigzaggy-patterned one at that) and a man's brown business hat, one that looked like those worn by actors in those old detective movies that Splinter liked to watch. He'd had to partially stuff it with old newspaper so it wouldn't cover his eyes, but soon it was nicely settled on his head at a jaunty angle, brim pulled low to one side so he would Look Mysterious. Once dressed, he then pulled out from its hiding place a beat-up suitcase.
Leo, from his dusty hiding place, watched as Mike took the toy handcuffs that had been Raph's (ah-HA! I KNEW it was Mike who took them! Well, Raph shouldn't have kept chaining Mike to the bunk bed, but really, that's no excuse to steal from your brothers...) and attached them first to the handle of the case, then to his own wrist.
"And now," came Mike's trademark announcer voice, "it's time for 'Secret Agent Mikey: Hero of the United States of America! Tonight's Episode is- The Terror Train From Prague'."
Prague? Prague? Mike pays attention during geography lessons?
"When we last left our hero, he was deep inside Prague, guarding the tiptop Secrets of the United States of America from the Enemy, and trying to catch the Terror Train from Prague back to New York City."
Nope- apparently not.
Mike soon was deep into his game of Mystery and Intrigue, trying to keep the tiptop Secrets of the United States of America safe from the Enemy (whomever they were; Leo, eyes on the notebook, soon lost interest, though he suspected that the names "Natasha" and "Boris" had come from the "Bullwinkle©" show).
The Notebook sat on one of the rare upright lobby chairs. One of the few overhead lights that still were working, despite the fact this place had been abandoned, seemed to bathe the book in a welcoming "HERE IT IS" glow, guiding Leonardo towards it even as Secret Agent Mikey was doing kick-splits, back-flips, double punches, diving behind subway columns, and wiping out dozens of the bad guys with his Super Agent Skills, while blocking a gazillion gunshots with his bulletproof suitcase- all accompanied by some weird and loud theme song of the turtle's making.
Leo crawled from his counter to a large pile of broken, crumbled tiles near the wall (remnants of a once beautiful wall mosaic- Leo's eye was briefly distracted by a particularly brilliant and intact square of blue- into one of his many pockets it went), then to the back of what once might have been a newspaper stand. He slipped from one shadow to the other, occasionally lying flat on the floor or blending into the background whenever Mike's game directed his line of sight in Leo's direction.
It wasn't easy. Leo felt more than once a sharp stab of pain in his hands as they accidentally encountered some errant piece of broken glass or other sharp object. But Leo was a (future) Leader, and (future) Leaders ignore pain. He kept one eye on Mike, and one on the Notebook, drawing closer and closer to his goal.
Sun Tzu said: The good fighters of old first put
themselves beyond the possibility of defeat, and then
waited for an opportunity of defeating the enemy.
Leo had definitely put himself beyond the possibility of defeat- and Mike was certainly giving his brother every opportunity of defeating him!
Mere yards lay between Ninja-Master Leonardo and his Goal...
Mike was now in a life or death struggle with Boris for the contents of the case. Both were teetering on the edge of the platform, and the train was coming.
"Zoon I weel have de zeecreets of your government, Zeecreet Agent Mikey!" "Boris" gloated, as he evidently got the upper hand on the helpless turtle.
The guard was distracted; Ninja-Master Leonardo suspected that the Daimyo would have the careless fool's head by morning. Well, that is his Fate. Ninja-Master Leonardo gave him no further thought, focusing on his Most Important Task of all Important Tasks.
"No you won't, Boris old buddy!" Secret Agent Mikey triumphantly shouted, and with a mighty kick and a tug, he broke free of his nemesis.
"Oh NO! Zee Train!" cried out "Natasha". "Borrris, look out!"
Closer... closer... the valuable manuscript would soon be in his capable hands; the Secrets of the Great Masters would be his and his alone, never to be looked upon by the Unworthy ever again...
"AAAAAAAAUUUGHHHHH!" came the scream, followed closely by the noise of the train and the sobbing of the villain's girlfriend.
"Oooh! Borrris! BORRRIS! My LOVE! You have keeled him, Zeecreet Agent Mikey! My heart is broken!"
"That's what he gets for being an Enemy of this country," Mike said, removing the handcuffs from the case and his wrist, then snapping them down onto the "wrists" of the still sobbing Natasha.
Roll... slitherslitherslitherslither... freeze... crawlcrawlcrawl... ouch... freeze... rollrollroll... ouchouch...
"Once again, Secret Agent Mikey has saved the day," Michelangelo said in his deep narrator's voice. "The world can rest easy tonight."
He bowed to his own applause, thanking the crowds of well-wishers that filled his imagination.
Ninja-Master Leonardo was mere inches from fulfilling his quest. He reached out, fingers almost caressing the royal (faded) blue silk (in his mind) covering of the Scroll...
"No no, please- you're embarrassing me," he said humbly. "I'm just an ordinary mutated American turtle, doing what any loyal mutated American turtle would do. No- no- Please! I'm not a genius. Well, maybe a little..."
Leo, now in position and hand reaching for the Notebook, spared his preening brother an incredulous look. He was actually blowing kisses now!
Leo rolled his eyes and shook his head.
What an imagination...
That brief hesitation was his lost chance. A dreaded sound startled them both at that moment:
"I'm tellin' ya, I heard someone scream," came faintly from one of the many dark and abandoned train tunnels.
"And I'm tellin' ya, it's all in yer head," was an equally frightening reply.
Mike wasted little time in stashing his gear and (snagging the notebook) blended into the blackest shadow he could find.
Leo had already rolled to a hiding place before Mike had finished undressing. Unfortunately, he'd not seen where his brother had vanished to.
The unmistakable sounds of approaching footsteps echoed up to the chamber, and soon Leo knew which tunnel the workers (for who else could they be?) would be exiting from.
Unfortunately (again), it was close to where Leo had chosen to hide.
Not that Leo was scared. They'd encountered the odd sewer, electrical, gas, and subway worker over the years, and had passed each challenge with flying colors.
(Well there was that one time when Raph, feeling rather bold, had actually walked up behind one particularly nervous guy who was complaining bitterly to his partner via radio why was it that HE had to come down in this dark smelly place full of all sorts of creepy things while the partner got to sit in the comfortable cab of the work truck, and tapped him on the back with an "Excuse me, Mister, but this is my HOME yer dissin'".
Raph still maintained that it was worth all the punishments Splinter dealt out over that incident, just for the memory of that guy's screaming and practically flying up that maintenance ladder. He'd even dropped his radio, for which Don had been extremely happy.
"Mask-wearin' WHAT?" had been the last sound they'd heard through it before they'd gotten out of range of the transmission.)
Two flashlights now pierced the gloom, and the two N.Y.C. Transit workers eventually entered the old room.
"Whew- never been in this one before," the shorter of the two said, waving the light around with interest.
"How many of these are there?" the other wondered, joining his colleague in studying the place.
The first shrugged.
"Who knows, who cares? We're supposed ta be on the other level, checkin' that track."
Now the tall one shook his head.
"I know, but I'm tellin' ya, I heard someone scream."
"Maybe it was 'The Ghostbusters'," the short one snorted, turning already to return to work.
"C'mon, Lenny! Don't go yet! Let's check it out! Maybe there's a kidnapper hidin' down here, or terrorists or somethin'. We'll be heroes."
"I came with ya this far, and there's nothin'. And if there was a kidnapper or terrorists or somethin' hidin' down here, what we'd be is dead! I'm goin' back before the supervisor finds out we ain't on the job."
Leo started to breathe a sigh of relief, until he saw that the taller of the two was still advancing. He didn't focus on their parting conversation (peppered with the types of words that would have had Raph taking notes for future reference), but on the advancing flashlight.
Their beams had played over his hiding place behind the clutter of chairs and rubble and lumber that were clustered halfway between the old fountain and one rather intact wall. Between him and the fountain was the area where Mike had stashed his costume.
And to that position the man was slowly approaching. Something had caught the eye of the worker. Despite the faint light, the worker still used his flashlight as an anchor line, drawing to the spot where his eyes were fixed.
Leo glanced around, straining his eyes and ears for anything. A smile crossed his lips as the waving flashlight brushed a few times over a telltale signs of a burrow. It was against the wall just yards from his hiding place, just the right size, and close to the fountain.
The man had stopped moving/ He was standing exactly on the spot where Mike had stashed his clothes. Bending down, he retrieved a pair of handcuffs.
Mike must have dropped them crossed Leo's mind even as he retrieved several of his shuriken from their pocket.
"These don't look like they've been here a hundred years," the guy mused to himself, holding them up and studying them in the light. Again he began to advance looking more sharply for anything that could be hidden.
Wait for it... wait for it...
The man's footsteps now led him to a halfway point between Leo and the fountain. Leo smiled again.
Wait... for... it...
Just as the man was in the Right Spot, several shuriken shot from Leo's hand, straight at the burrow.
The pile of rubble exploded with rats!
The squeaks and squeals nearly overpowered the startled shriek of the worker and the brown furry mass of angry rats poured forth. He turned and ran as fast as he could before any of those "damn nasty flea-infested sons-of-bitches slimy germ-carryin' bastard furry freaking RATS" could get close to him.
Leo waited until the sound of the cursing faded into the distance.
The faint snicker of his brother replaced the cursing. Mike emerged from the shadows, laughing and tossing a few stones in his hand.
"Man, I knew those rats would be pissed, but Man! I didn't think I'd hit it that hard! Must of pinged one of them. Man! That was funny! Wish Raph coulda seen that."
And tossing the rocks to the ground, he turned on his heel and vanished up the tunnel.
Leo wasted no time in following, feeling just a bit disappointed. He was sure his shuriken had been the only reason those rats had been so angry. After all, he'd practiced so long and so often... HE had seen the burrow, had actively looked for such a thing!
And yet Mike had had the same idea?
NO! I reject that. He might have had the idea, but look at the distance. NONE of his rocks could have made it that far. Nope, it was my shuriken and quick thinking and skill...
And Leo hurried after his quarry, reassuring himself over and over that he had been the one to actually scare the worker away.
ooooooOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOoooooo
Secret Hiding Place Number Nine: The Drainage Junction of Solitude.
Secret Hiding Place Number Three: The Hole in the Floor of the Storm drain of Solitude.
Secret Hiding Place Number Eleven: The End of the Huge Pipe that Looked Out Over the River of Solitude.
Leo was tired. Tired with a capital T.
He'd exhausted himself as well as his patience and his medical supplies.
His kusuribin was now empty of bandaids, and at one point, when Mike was particularly busy dangling his legs out of the End of the Huge Pipe that Looked Out Over the River of Solitude, singing "Under the Sea©" from "The Little Mermaid©™" while leafing through his Notebook, he'd had to resort to the use of the dreaded Iodine.
The pain had been the fiercest he'd had to inflict upon himself. But he'd toughed it out bravely.
His feet, once proud to wear the tabi-boots, were now protesting loudly. They were hot and sweaty and blisters were beginning to anger them. They longed for fresh air and the feel of the cool water on their skin and not the damp irritating rub of canvas across their tops, nor the squishy-suctiony pull of the rubber bottoms on their own tender soles.
This is stupid. All I'm doing is following Mike around. And all HE'S doing is playing his stupid games.
Leo watched as Mike gathered up his notebook. From the light filtering in through the opening, Leo could see that it was approaching sunset. Time to be heading back home.
He'd better move, try to get there before his brother...
But Mike, whistling another Disney song, turned in the exact opposite direction of home.
Leo blinked in the dark.
What the...
They'd been to all eleven of Mike's Super Secret Hiding Places today, he was CERTAIN of that!
Mike wasn't going home?
What the...
Leo followed the whistling through the dark, keeping his distance just enough to see Mike without being seen.
Left. Right. Right. The grading seemed to be going up, but Leo didn't stop to wonder why, he just kept his brother in sight, following with all the stealth he possessed.
Left. Left. Straight straight straight. And now Mike was slowing down. His whistling had stopped, and his enthusiasm seemed to be waning.
Mike paused, looked behind him... hesitated... walked on... hesitated... turned to start back, then shook himself, turned, and walked on... hesitated...
Now an opening could be seen ahead. Leo, straining his eyes, could see that they were approaching an opening far in the distance; an opening that appeared to be partially covered.
"Come on, Mikester," the young turtle said in a sort of Raph-like sneer. "What are you afraid of? Splinter? He doesn't even know. Come ON, chicken-baby!"
Then he squared his shoulders and headed quickly up the tunnel and out of Leo's sight!
Leo wasted no time in getting to the end- which was the rather large and heavily vine-covered opening into Central Park!
Leo had only been this way a few times with Splinter, never by himself!
Topside! Topside with no Splinter! Ooooo Mike was sooo gonna get it...
Leo without hesitation and full of Brotherly Righteousness, slid from the safety of the underground and into the Wide World of Central Park.
They were near the Turtle Pond!
No one was around; it was not quite sunset but getting there. The air was cold but there was no snow or rain in the forecast. Still, the usual visitors were not to be seen at the moment, though there were humans about. Leo could hear them faintly, and was certain he'd spot them before they'd spot him.
From his hiding place in the underbrush Leo watched in disbelief as Mike pulled from inside his notebook a large and folded plastic bag. He then carefully put his precious top secret book into the bag, sealed it tightly, and with a furtive look around, slid into the pond and vanished!
Leo's mind was crowded with all sorts of emotions and rules and orders and indignation and possible punishments. Without thinking he slid into the water himself, hidden by the reeds, and watched as Mike emerged from his chilly swim on the far side, well-screened by trees. He settled himself after shaking off what water he could, and grinned in triumph.
No one knew he had this Secret Hiding Place! He rarely came here- well, he'd only come here once, actually, but still! It was his most prized and special of all his most prized and special secret hiding places! He hadn't even told Raph!
Leo, meanwhile, pulled his fukiya from its place and, putting one end in his mouth, slid under the surface, blending in with the reeds along the shoreline, steadly making his way to the large cluster of water plants that partially screened Mike from view.
He didn't really need it to breathe with, being a turtle and all, but that's how Ninja do it, and Leo was a Ninja.
Soon he was there, peering at his brother.
Note to self: denim gets really heavy when wet.
From his position in the reeds, Leo could see Mike thumbing through his super secret notebook, making check marks here and there, oblivious to the outside world.
Boy, wait until Master Splinter finds THIS out! We're not to come here without him, and only at night! Michelangelo has definitely gone too far this time! I'll bet Splinter even takes away his private lessons and throws that dumb notebook away!
As he gloated (in righteous indignation as a true, loving, yet protective future Leader should), the thoughts of what could happen to Michelangelo began to be crowded out by the voice of his father and sensei: "And how do you know of this, my son?"
Shoot.
If he told, then he'd have to tell how he knew about it... which would probably land HIM in trouble as well.
"You are the ani. You are supposed to keep your brother from getting into trouble. I rely on you for this."
"Damn," he heard himself mutter- then froze in shock, covering his mouth with one hand.
Mike stiffened, straining his ears, carefully blending into his background, searching for the human kid who must be close-by. He had heard the word.
"Time to go, Notey!" he whispered, and Leo was hard-pressed to follow. Working his way out of the huge turtle-pond, he felt as if he was carrying a hundred pounds of rocks. His outfit was soaked to the point of leaving a trailing stream of water behind him, a sort of "Leonardo was here and went this way!" marker to the World.
Fortunately the entrance to the tunnels was not too far, and very well-hidden. But Leo took no chances. He remained Vigilant, even as he strove to keep Michelangelo in sight.
Gaining the entrance, he blinked rapidly, trying to readjust to the relative darkness of the tunnel. Momentarily disoriented, he realized that he would just have to let Mike go and worry about getting home on time.
This day's plan had been a failure; not a complete and utter failure, he had learned one Very Important Thing today- well, two, as he trudged through the tunnels in his soaking wet and clinging jeans- but still, it had not ended as he had envisioned.
The faint sound of someone whistling the theme to "He-Man and the Masters of the Universe"© alerted him to the fact that his brother was in a position of regaining the lair before him.
So what? Let him get home first. Big deal the pouty side of Leo said sulkily.
Because, chucklehead, if HE gets home FIRST, then he has the advantage argued the sanctimonious side. It gives him an unfair advantage of being home on time! YOU need to get there first and then you can be all "ah-HA! Where have YOU been? And why do you smell like pond scum?" and then Master Splinter will put two and two together and realize-
That we've BOTH been out of the sewers the pouty side cleverly pointed out. It'll be more like "Leonardo, why do you BOTH smell like pond scum? Have you been out of the sewers with your brother?" and THEN he'll go into that "you are the ani" speech. Again.
Leo made for home, mind working overtime. If he splashed through the drainage channel on the way home, he could wash off some of the traces of the pond. He'd still not smell good, but it should be good enough to keep Splinter from scenting where he'd been.
"And then he'll only smell that Mike was out of the sewers," he said to himself, as he began to race through the drainage channel, pretending that he was stealthily yet speedily chasing after Someone Bad whom had entered the darkness, looking for Trouble.
He rounded a corner of the junction and came to a screeching (yet extremely silent- after all, they were all well-trained by the wise and knowledgeable Master Splinter) halt. Up ahead, splashing around under a fall of water coming from an overhead pipe, Michelangelo was laughing and singing, oblivious to anyone or anything else in the world.
He's lucky I'm not a sewer worker.
The notebook was safely out of the way of any wetness, wedged between some pipes along the wall, partially in the dark, yet not completely hidden.
Mike was making so much noise that Leo was able to exit the channel and blend into the darkness, pressed against the wall, only yards away from the Object.
The foolish guard was bathing in the waterfall, his weapons on the far bank, his back to Danger. With little trouble, Ninja-Master Leonardo made his way to the Scroll...
... and brushed up against a really hot pipe!
Mike, not hearing or seeing a thing, finished his shower and retrieved the notebook. Then he headed home. It had been a very satisfying day.
Leo, finally free to move away from the treacherous hot pipe, tearfully rubbed his upper arm. Biting his lip, he tried to peer inside the neck of his outfit to see if he could assess the damage. The steam pipe had felt as if it were pressing against skin instead of the soaked material of his shirt. It's a wonder he didn't reveal himself, the pain had been Tremendous- but as he moved on towards home, he began to feel a sense of pride.
He'd not given into the desire to cry aloud at the vicious owie- He was Ninja!
Home he trudged, and the closer he got to it, the more dejected he became. Despite his little triumphs, despite now having a secret about Mike's secret, he had Failed.
Sun Tsu would be disappointed in him.
The strangely comforting sight of the door to his home soon filled his eyes. Before he entered he carefully divested himself of his shinobi shozoko- torn and soaked and stained and reeking of pond and sewer- and just as carefully replaced it in his bag. His feet, free of the tabi-boots, smelled worse than anything else, and he could tell that some of the blisters had already popped just from the sting.
He would go take a nice hot bath. He'd tell Splinter that he'd been training and had gotten carried away. It wasn't a lie, just not the Whole Story. That would work.
"I'm home, Sensei!" he called out, entering as nonchalantly as he could muster. "I hope I'm not late!"
"Not at all, my son," came the welcoming reply. Splinter entered the room from the kitchen, where Raphael and Donatello were setting the table for dinner. "Though your brother- Leonardo!"
The startled exclamation from Splinter froze Leo in his tracks. His sensei and father was staring hard at him, his eyebrows shot up as high as Leo had ever seen them, his eyes huge, and his mouth open in Shock.
What? What? Did I grow another head?
Leo examined himself. He saw nothing wrong except for some scrapes and cuts and his black hands...
Black hands?
Oh, no...
"My son! Why is your face all black?"
Mike came from their room at that moment.
"Sensei, my tube of black printing ink is missing," he said, then stopped, catching sight of Leonardo. "Hey! I told you, leave my art supplies alone!"
ooooooOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOoooooo
In the tub, Leonardo soaked his roughly scrubbed (by Splinter) face and bruised tail and blistered feet and various owies and battered ego.
Splinter had accepted his story of having gone a bit far in training ("Do not use your brother's art supplies again, and be more careful from now on. And I shall probably never get that smell out of your outfit. What happened? Did you fall into the sewer? Did you swallow any sewer water?"), but he was sure he had not heard the end of it. He had managed to avoid the "you are the ani" speech, but had gotten instead a "You know better than to take what is not yours" lecture, followed by the "you boys have been warned time and again to not play in the sewer water" lecture.
"I'll bet he'd give Mike more than a lecture, and I'd love to hear it," he muttered to himself.
At that moment Mike and his bulging with papers Notebook entered without knocking.
"Can't you wait until I'm finished?" Leo groused, preparing to close his eyes and ears and nose while his brother Took Care of Business.
"I don't hafta go," Mike grinned. "But I've been wondering all night. Were you following me?"
Leo mustered the most disdainful look of disdain ever mustered by a 10-year-old (future) Leader.
"Only I thought maybe you were all ninjaed up like that to follow me around today," Mike continued, "on account of I was out with my Top Secret Notebook and all."
"Mike, you really think too much of yourself, you know that?" Leo asked, and he sank under the surface of the tub where he could be covered with the soothing water.
Mike grinned again, and cheerfully left the bathroom. Under the water, Leo could hear the door slam shut.
Five minutes later he surfaced and dried off and began to dress for bed, resolved to Never Think of that Notebook Again. It was foolish of him, thinking that Mike was learning a kata that he himself didn't know. Pure and utter foolishness! And he thought MIKE had an active imagination.
"Ah Leo," he managed to chide himself. "You should know better. And now you do! No more of this foolishness!"
He buttoned the last button of his pajama top and sighed in satisfaction.
Then he spotted a Piece of Paper on the floor.
Mike's handwriting covered it, along with diagrams (drawn by the turtle), and a paragraph that had Leo's Full Attention:
Kusanku: This kata was adopted and developed by Okinawan Karate men after it was brought to Okinawa in 1761 by a Chinese Martial Artist named Kusanku. This kata is the most magnificent and advanced kata of all Matsubayashi Ryu Karate. It is also the longest and most difficult kata, requiring painstaking practice for more than a decade for mastery.
Damn!