Now and Forever

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Reflections



Anger. Seering, hot, tormenting anger. The pain continued to course through his veins, boiling his blood and causing his body to cry out in anguish. Yet, he hardly noticed through the unconquerable rage that had overtaken his body, clouding his senses with hate and destruction.

His body was more powerful than it had ever been before, yet inside he was weak and physically drained. He knew that the poison had already circulated through his bloodstream more than a few times. He could feel every inch of his body burning as it passed. He knew he was dying, and he knew time was running out to save those he loved.

He fought his way through the mob of startled Foot, bodies flying through the air effortlessly with just one punch or kick. Michaelangelo would have been amazed at his new found abilities had the anger and grief not taken full control over his conscious thoughts. They must pay for this!

The Foot's plan had backfired. The poison wasn't the problem. It had done it's job well. The chemicals had definately taken their toll on his weary body, the toxins in his system the only thing keeping him going as the strange concoction filled his limbs with unbelievable strength. The anger, they had been told, would be a side effect, but Karai hadn't warned them that it would be like this. The mutant had been turned into an unmerciful killing machine.

The Foot backed away quickly in cold-blooded terror as the turtle approached. Over half of their comrads had fallen under his hand, and from the looks of things, they hadn't had a pleasant death.

Michaelangelo couldn't really tell who it was he was striking at through his blurred vision and clouded thoughts , only that whoever these strange looking blobs were, they were responsible for what had happened to him and his friends and family. "Bastards!", his voice came out raspy and deep, much to his own surprise. "You'll pay for what you did! I will die with honor like the...like that rat guy taught me!" But what's his name...? Confusion had taken over his mind and he couldn't think straight. Damn! What's his name?

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He led her by the hand down the silent hall, her labored breathing the only sound. He turned to her, gazing at the tear stained face, searching desperately for the words to comfort her and bring her out of her silence. He stared at her longingly as a spasm of nervous coughs attacked her body. He knew she must have suffered terribly in the past few hours and it was going to take some time for her mind and body to heal.

Multiple emotions flooded through him at once. He was so relieved and happy that she was alive and well; atleast as well as could be expected, and also surprised and skeptical at how easily he had found her. She had been behind the third door he'd tried. He could hear her sobbing coming from the other side and knew someone was in trouble. He had been overjoyed and shocked to find it was her. Now he found himself very concerned for her well-being. She looks like hell. He was grieved at the thought of the mental torture she must have endured. And still, through it all, was the undying love he felt inside. The emotion that no matter how hard he tried to push it aside, just wouldn't go away.

Damn! How could I have let this happen!? The Foot shoulda never overpowered me. I'm stronger than them dammit!

Megan glanced at him, a distant look in her big brown eyes. Most of the fear had subsided, and she kept telling herself over and over that it wasn't a dream this time. This really was Raphael who was holding her hand; she really was walking down this hall; he really was alive; and no monster was going to pop up out of nowhere and say "boo!" She stared down at the hand she was holding, the intricate folds and creases of the reptilian skin; at the shell on his back, how the lines formed into a unique pattern. She remembered back to the morning she had woken up to find herself bandaged on his bed. She remembered staring at his shell then, studying the design, embedding it into her memory, and decided that this was the same shell she had been fascinated with then. Finally, she looked up into his eyes. The bandanna was gone, revealing his full features. Maybe it was because he didn't have the mask to hide behind anymore, or maybe it was because of all of the strange events that had taken place, but he looked different somehow. His eyes reflected that same strange look he had given her a dozen different times, but now there was something more.

Raphael forced himself to hold her gaze. She looked like a little lost puppy dog, yet he could tell some of the old spunk and spirit was returning. He waited as she lifted a hand toward his cheek and ran it along the side of his face, a slight smile forcing its way through to her lips.

"You look different without your mask.", she said softly.

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Karai lay back against the wall, gulping in large amounts of air. That last kick had knocked the wind out of her. Her chest cried out in agony as she struggled to sit up.

April turned away quickly and made her way toward the door. Gotta get out of here while she's down. Find the others.

Karai was determined not to let her escape. Mustering all of her strength, she lunged forward, latching onto April's knees and knocking her to the floor. April's chin hit the concrete with an ear curdling crack. Her jaw was slammed shut painfully, and she just missed biting her tongue.

In an instant, Karai was on top of her, clawing at her back with the sharp blades. April managed to flip her off and turned onto her back to face her attacker. Determined, Karai jumped on April's stomach and wrapped her hands around her neck, cutting off her air supply.

April's lungs felt like they were on fire as she struggled to suck in air. As Karai pressed down on her throat, she could feel the life being strangled out of her. In a final effort to break free, she balled her fist and delivered the hardest punch she could muster. Karai loosened her grip and staggered backwards, the pain throbbing as the blood spurted from her nose.

Karai sat there stunned for a moment as she brought her fingers up to wipe the blood from her lip. She stared at the sticky red liquid that stained her hand and rose her eyes to scowl at April. "You bitch!"

April rose slowly to her feet, coughing uncontrollably as a wave of dizziness passed over her vision. Gasping for air, she stood bent over, her eyes closed as she waited for the light-headedness to pass. Her jaw throbbed with unmerciful pain, and she found herself unable to move it to speak as she glared back at Karai. The woman was curled up in a dispicable ball on the floor, nursing her broken nose. Take that you sick bitch! And without a word, April hurried from the room and into the hall.

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"Here...w...wrap this...a...around her. H...hurry!", Leo pulled another strip of burlap from under some crates and tossed it to Don. As the material rubbed across his fingers a numb soreness spread across them. They were like icicles. He could barely feel with them anymore, except for the slight tingle of pain as he dug around for more of the precious material. He silently wondered if they would break off if he wasn't careful..

Don tucked the blanket under Robyn's chin and wrapped it snuggly around her body, his teeth chattering something fierce. The numbness in his toes seemed to be spreading up his legs now, and toward his plastron. We gotta get out of here soon, or we'll all freeze to death! The worry crept up on him and he began to shiver uncontrollably.

Leo stared over at his brother, trying to conceal the fear that welled up inside him now. Gotta stay strong for Don. The turtle had pulled his arms all the way into his shell, trying desperately to keep warm, his look blank and distant.

"Penny...f...for your...thoughts.", Leo grinned. Don snapped out of his trance and gazed at Leo for a moment.

"I...was just...th...thinking...about how...maybe t...turtles...should wear c...clothes."

Leo giggled inspite of the situation, and threw him another piece of burlap. "Here.", he smiled, "Make yourself...s...something out of...th...this."

Don held the material in front of his body, examining it at all angles, a slight frown wrinkling his brow. "Out of this...useless...th...thing? What...do you expect...m...me to make...out of this?"

Leo sighed. "I dunno...Don. You're...th...the one who's...g...good at that...st...stuff. Maybe the...c...cold is...n...numbing your brain."

Don glared at him for a moment before Leo finished. "Tear some...holes in it and...w...wear it like a...sh...shirt. Make a...s...skirt out of it...I don't...c...care."

Don frowned at his brother and began to mouth a come-back when a sudden thump and the screeching of metal interrupted his thoughts.

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"Here grampa.", Shadow held the piece of broken bed post out, offering it to Splinter. The rat frowned in confusion for a moment, trying to decide what Shadow's motives were.

Seeming to sense his doubt she added, "Fo your leg. So you ca' stand." Splinter smiled in the darkness. Shadow, you are one intelligent little girl. He accepted the stick, and with Shadow holding his other arm, used it like a walking stick to slowly raise his body into a standing position. The dull pain continued to throb down his shin as he attempted to hobble over to the door.

Shadow kept her grip on his arm, staring up at him intently in the darkness. Splinter had always been kind to her. He would read her stories and tell her about his life as a pet rat before his mutation. He even told her funny tales about her uncles when they were her age. He made her delicious tea, and even let her meditate with him on occasion. Most of all, when she was in his company, she felt safe. Most little girls would tremble in fear at the site of him, but she had grown to think of him as part of her family, her beloved grandfather that no human could ever replace.

Splinter hopped to the door and tried the handle. Locked! Damn! He turned to the brave little girl.

"Shadow, honey?", he said in his softest voice. "Start feeling the walls. Press on the bricks and see if any feel loose."

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"Casey!", two voices cried out at once, one from his left and the other from his right, and before he could even look to see who was approaching, they were on him, wrapping their arms around him and burrying their faces in his chest and arms.

He stood there stunned for a moment, staring down at the two women in curious awe. "Megan? April?"

Megan spared a glance up at her friend, relieved that she was okay and that they had been reunited once again. The look in April's eyes held an unspoken understanding about the tortures they both had suffered.

"Oh Casey!", April sobbed, her voice muffled between clenched teeth. "My god! I thought you were...dead!"

As she burried her face in his shoulder again, he glanced at Raphael, a confused expression on his face. Raphael returned his question with a shrug and stood in silent wait.

Suddenly, April lifted her head, a look of terror replacing the joy. "Oh god!", she gasped. "Let me see your eyes!"

Casey's frown grew deeper as she lifted her hands toward his face, running them over his eyelids.

"Open them.", she said softly, slightly afraid of what she might discover. "Please, I have to see them!"

Casey wondered if April was going mad, but he did as she requested without question.

Megan stepped back, watching intently as a look of relief washed over April's face. She wrapped her arms around her fiance again as she began to laugh and cry at the same time.

"Megan!", the excitement in her voice was muffled only by her clenched teeth as the tears of joy streamed down her face. "His eyes! They're there! He's got eyes!"

At that, Raph and Casey exchanged befuddled frowns. What the heck are they talking about?, they wanted to ask.

April then spotted Raphael standing a few feet behind Megan, and she almost passed out in shock. "Raphae!?" She rushed toward him, a feeling of overwhelming joy flooding through her. Her friend was alive! "Oh thank god!", she wrapped her arms around his neck, and as he returned the hug she whispered, "Thank god we didn't really eat you!"

"What!?", Raph jarred her arms free in his excitement and almost pushed her to the floor. "What the hell are you talkin' about!?"

April looked to Megan questioningly.

"No.", she lowered her eyes to the ground. "I haven't told him yet."

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The Foot had kept their distance as they followed the homicidal turtle down the hall. Just ahead were the beings they had promised him were the ones responsible for his brother's deaths.

He was ready for them. It's time to die scumbags!

The door was constructed of heavy steel, and the lock was secure. That, however, hadn't posed a problem for Michaelangelo. He just ripped the thing right off. Now it was time to enter; to face the ones responsible for all of this death and destruction. There would be no stopping him until it was over.

He turned to find some blobs holding what appeared to be nunchuks. Snatching the weapons from their hands, he threw them out of his way and took a few steps away from the door, readying himself to ram it open.

The Foot backed up, eyeing him carefully, unsure as to what he might do. This creature was dangerous. Several of the men had thought about putting him down, but Karai had given strict orders not to kill the beast, so they had let it live. Now would come the fun part.

Michaelangelo rushed to the door at full speed, not stopping until his body hit the metal, throwing it wide from its hinges as startled yells came from within. Without hesitating, he twirled the chuks to rest under his armpits and stepped inside.

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They had found a soft spot relatively easy, and Splinter had begun to burrow through the clay and rock with his fingers, the debris encrusting itself under his claws. It was hard to see in the darkness, but as he ran his hand over the hole, he could tell he was slowly making progress.

As he stopped for a moment to take a break and nurse his leg, he thought about his sons. Reaching into his cloak, he felt around for the worn fabric. Yep, it was still there. He drew out the bandana, lifting it to his eyes to study it in the darkness. The material was worn and tattered and faded from age. Dirt streaks lined the creases where it had been tied and untied so many times. The mere sight of it reminded him of his energetic pupil, so full of anger, yet so full of life. He stuffed the mask back in his cloak as his thoughts turned to Michaelangelo. What have they done with him? He could only hope that the two of them were still alive. Atleast Leonardo and Donatello aren't here.

Shadow lowered herself to her knees and began to scrape at the rock below with her delicate little fingers.

"I'll help you.", her little voice echoed through the cell. "You rest now. I'll dig."

Splinter smiled slightly as a soft sigh escaped through his ancient whiskers. Time to get back to work.

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They crept slowly and quietly through the halls, their voices just a whisper as they attempted to sort everything out.

"So you mean, you thought you had me for lunch?", Raphael cringed as he studied her sorrowful gaze. Her eyes betrayed the guilt and shame she felt inside. She closed them and nodded her head gently as the memories of the meal flooded her mind. She remembered the gritty feel and the strange taste of the meat, the way the Foot and that woman had mocked her, the total sense of loss and terror she had felt when...

She opened her eyes and forced herself to look into his, to hold the gaze of the liquid brown pools. She wanted to apologize, to tell him that she would have never eaten that soup if she had only known. But, seeing the light and concern in his own eyes, she realized there was no need. Raphael seemed to be telling her without words that there was nothing to be sorry for.

Instinctively, he wrapped his arm around her, drawing her close. She closed her eyes and laid her head on his shoulder, the solid feeling of it filling her with security and strength.

"Honestly April.", Casey attempted a joke, "I can't believe you don't even recognize your own future husband's eyeballs."

April looked up at him and noticed the grin on his face. "Yeah?", she joked back as some of the tension subsided, "Well, maybe you don't stare into my eyes often enough for me to notice."

Aknowledging for the first time the pain that spread across April's face, and the muffled sound of her speech, he laid a finger lightly under her chin and raised it up to examine it in the dim light.

"God, April, what happened to your jaw?" The whole underside was covered with black and blue bruises, and a large gash spread across her chin.

"Can you move it?", his look was of concern as he attempted to pull her mouth open.

April let out a squeal of pain and tears formed in her eyes. Casey let go. Man, this is bad! He turned to look at Raphael, the worry in his eyes letting Raph know that something was terribly wrong.

"I think her jaw's broken."

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Their eyes were wide in fright, their jaws hung in surprise as the two startled faces stared up silently at the approaching turtle. This was not their brother storming toward them, this was a monstrous beast. His brow was wrinkled into a tight frown, his mouth twisted and curled up in a snarl. His eyes had lost their innocent sparkle, their twinkle of amusement and energy.

Raphael? Leo had wanted to say, but his fright kept him silent. As he stared at the turtle, he knew that it couldn't be his tempermental brother. Even he, in all of his anger and frustration would never purposely hurt any of his family.

Donatello and Leonardo began to back up slowly as the turtle approached, foaming saliva dripping from his grimmacing mouth. Don feared for Robyn, who still lay unconscious on the floor. Deciding that he would risk his life to save her, he scooted quickly across the floor and dragged her body to the other side of the room.

Michaelangelo noticed something moving off to his right, but he ignored it for the moment. His sole purpose was to destroy these horrible beasts that had murdered his family. He swung the nunchuks wildly, the raging revenge reflecting in his distant gaze.

"My god! Michaelangelo?!", Leonardo could not contain his surprise as he gawked at his hardly recognizable brother. Sweat poured down the turtle's forehead, his body tense as his hateful eyes penetrated deep in to Leo's soul. This is not my brother.

"Michaelangelo, it's me, Leonardo. Don't you...remember?"

The turtle's stare burned into his eyes without a trace of recognition. Leo took a step back, finding it hard to hold the turtle's hateful gaze.

"What the...h...heck happened...to him?", Don whispered nervously as he backed up carefully toward the wall.

Michaelangelo advanced slowly as a sharp pain convulsed through his body like a million knives stabbing into him, twisting and writhing as they sank ever deeper into his flesh.

"My god!", Leo let out a terrified gasp as he stared in helpless awe at his tortured brother. "I think he's...dying!"

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"I can't remember much else.", Raph rubbed at the sore lump on his head.

"They just threw you into a pit?", April was slightly agitated. "How could they? I mean, Megan and I had to suffer emotional turmoil! We thought we ate you for chrissake!", her voice was raising to a yell, and the others lifted their fingers to their lips, reminding her to be quiet.

"Sorry, but...geeze! We almost lose our minds, and you guys get off by being nice and cozy in a pit!?"

Raph stopped her right there. "Whoa! Wait a minute! Nice and cozy!? Fer your information, that place was rank! It smelt like the stuff between Casey's toes, and--"

"Hey!", Casey protested. Raph ignored him and continued his argument.

"It was damp and dark. We couldn't even see eachother, let alone anything else that mighta' been in there with us!" He looked at Megan, his frown of anger melting into gentleness and compassion. "Plus...we were worried as hell about you!"

Megan stared into his eyes as that familiar look returned. She had remained silent through his and Casey's explanation, allowing April to present the thoughts she silently shared.

Raphael's eyes seemed to be attached to hers, and she began to feel uneasy at the distant look they contained. Was he daydreaming?

"Uh...Raphael?", he snapped out of his trance and turned to find Casey standing behind him. "We really should get moving again." As they began their treck once again, Casey shot him an annoyed look and shook his head.

"What!?", Raph asked innocently, but he already knew what was on Casey's mind.

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The hole in the rock was almost big enough now for Shadow to squeeze through. Splinter considered the idea of having her leave to go find the others, but decided there was too much of a risk of her getting caught, and he didn't like the idea of them being separated.

The little girl had proven to be an important part in their quest for freedom. He had always known she was special, but even so, he was amazed to find out just how strong and intelligent she was.

His leg continued to throb as he clawed at the debris once again. He prayed that no one would walk by and notice the significant opening in the decaying wall. He realized that if someone tried to stop them, he would be helpless in his condition to ward them off.

Ah, to be young again. He thought about his sons, how energetic they were, how easily they healed, how much he missed them. The depression of his age began to sink in as he stared down at the sillhouette of his wounded leg. How could he, a top-rank ninja master let himself be captured so easily?

Now he was here, in this dark, damp tomb, and all he could think about was death. He knew his time would be soon. He could feel the age slowly stealing away the vibrance and stamina he had had in youth, but he wasn't ready yet. It is not my time, dammit! My sons still need me!

Shadow sensed the change in Splinter's mood and stopped digging to stand beside him. "Spleen-tur?" She reached out a hand to touch his furry face, the warm wetness of his tears. "What's wong, grampa?"

The concern in the little girl's voice almost melted Splinter from his funk. He stared down at her delicate features, the twinkle in her eyes slowly absorbing the depression. Shadow... He knew if anything, he had to do this for her. She had a long life ahead of her, and he would be there to teach her and watch over her.

He stretched his arms out toward her and she wrapped hers around his body carefully, being sure not to bump into his leg. The warmth of her body spread a new life through the old rat, and he decided they weren't licked yet.

"It is nothing.", he told her softly, "I am fine. But we need to keep digging. Just a little more."

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"Now...Mikey...just...p...put the chucks down.", Leo held his hands up in front of him, backing up slowly as he attempted to ward off his enraged brother.

A raspy, deep voice rumbled from somewhere deep within the turtle, filled with cruelty and hate. "You will pay for what you did!"

Don let out a gasp at the horrible sounds coming from his brother. The strength that he exuded frightened him. He searched frantically for something to use as a weapon to fend the foaming turtle off. God, it's almost like he's got rabies!

"What? What...are you...t...talking about?", Leonardo asked confused. "I don't...understand."

Michaelangelo squinted his eyes and glared at the green blob who was mumbling something about not standing in a row boat. This guy's not making any sense!

The turtle lunged at Leonardo, the force and power behind his attack knocking Leo clear off his feet. Pain raced across his back as he landed on his shell with a loud crack.

Donatello grimmaced as his brother went down. Ouch! That must've been painful! Deciding that he was out of time, he grabbed a near by box and hurled it in Mike's direction.

Michaelangelo let out an enraged cry and rose to go after the other turtle.

"Don! No!", Leo protested. "Go! Get out of here! Save yourself and Robyn!"

Don glanced down at the unconscious girl and then up at Mike again. "No, Leo! No! I won't leave you here!"

Michaelangelo was almost upon Don now. Determined not to let anything happen to his brother, Leo jumped to his feet and delivered a round house kick to Mike's back.

The kick seemed to bounce right off of him as he turned to scowl at Leo. The fire in his eyes seemed to burn with a renewed heat as he paced slowly back toward Leo.

"Please Don, just go.", Leo pleaded as his hands searched wildly around him for something to throw at the mad turtle.

Don's head hurt as he struggled with his emotions. Robyn isn't doing so well. I gotta get her out of here fast, or she'll die! But...I can't leave Leo here! Mike is too strong, and he's out of his mind! There's no telling what he'll do to him!

He looked toward his brother for direction. He had always been their leaning point, the one to direct them through times of crisis and hardship. The look Leo returned was one of apology and pleading. I'm sorry Don. This time I don't have the answers.

"Please.", Leo whispered as Mike lumbered forward. "Please...go."

The sorrow in his brother's eyes brought tears to his own as he staggered toward where Robyn lay. He's asking me to spare myself so I can save the others. And in a moment of realization, he discovered Leo's intentions. He's offering himself so the others might live. He's decided to die with honor. It's what he's always wanted.

With a final look back, and the tears streaming down his cheeks, Don picked up Robyn and carried her hesitantly out into the hall.



Chapter 17

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