He blinked awake slowly and stared up at the ceiling for a moment. The air around him was quiet and calm, but it held a certain euphoric excitement that seemed to envelop him inside and out. A strange sensation of freedom and power rushed through him. The feeling was foreign to him, yet filled him with a renewed sense of strength and peace.

Sighing, he looked down to the sleeping girl in his left arm. He stroked back some of her hair, his gaze settling on her face. Her skin glowed in the light of the morning, allowing her features to take on an angelic quality, the same as the fire had produced last night. As he stared at her, a smile crept across his face.

Raph took a deep breath, reflecting on the events of last evening. He still couldn't believe that he had murdered that guy on the street. Even though he considered himself a killer, and had plunged his sai into flesh many times, it had always been for a reason. Well, this was for a reason too. That guy had a knife to that lady's throat. Besides, he called me a freak! Still, he couldn't convince himself that what he had done was right.

But she was there when he'd needed her. She always had been. And as she gazed up at him with those big, brown, understanding eyes, he knew that she would love him no matter what. She had looked so good, smelled so sweet, and been so forgiving. And the way she touched him...

Making love was something he often fanaticized about, especially when younger. It had been all the more a fantasy, knowing that it would never happen, not until now. In the light of day, he could hardly believe that last night was real. He finally gotten to know what it was like to be with a woman, to know her unconditional love.

Suddenly, a rush of excitement built up inside of him. He wanted to run out and tell the whole world what had happened -- that this girl loved him, that he loved her, that he had finally gotten to do what none of his brothers ever had...

He brought his other hand up to gently sweep a strand of hair from her forehead, before kissing her there. "Ai suru.", he whispered in Japanese.

______________________________________________________________________________

"Leo?" Mike called in a whisper as he tiptoed through the lair. He didn't want to wake Splinter or Donatello. "Leo, where are you? Are you awake?"

Leo set down the katana and peeked his head out of the training room. "Yeah, Mike, I'm awake. I couldn't sleep."

Mike nodded. For some reason, he hadn't gotten much rest last night either. He first thought that maybe it had been the strange pizza he'd eaten right before bed, or maybe that horror movie on t.v., but as he looked into his brother's face, he realized that they were both suffering from the same thing - worry.

Michaelangelo wasn't sure what was going on, but he didn't like the troubled look on Leonardo's face. What could it be? Is someone in danger? Is Don going into seclusion again? Reluctantly, he followed Leo into the traning room and closed the door.

Mike bit his lip as Leo motioned for him to take a seat across from him on the mat. He was frightened about what his brother might reveal to him. He wasn't prepared for bad news. They had overcome so much since Shadow's kidnapping, and things were finally starting to take a turn back to normality again.

As Mike sat down, he took a deep breath and stared at his brother blankly, concealing his worry as he had always done. He knew that just as the others looked to Leo for leadership, they also looked to him in times of trouble, to keep their spirits high. Sometimes though, he secretly wished he was Raphael. Then he wouldn't have to face that kind of pressure, and he would be able to let his true feelings show.

Leo grabbed onto Mike's hand. Mike gulped down a nervous lump in his throat. This had to be bad. Leo never looked this serious unless something awful was going on.

"Mike, I think something's wrong with Splinter."

He stared at his brother, unable to speak for a moment. "S...Splinter? But, what, Leo? What's wrong with him?"

Leo frowned, releasing his hand. "I don't know.", he said softly. "All I know is that he's sitting down here, meditating night and day. He's hardly eating or sleeping, and he looks exhausted."

Mike nodded, remembering the ragged form of his master from last night.

Leo continued. "I think something's bothering him. He's been getting these strange premonitions..."

"Premonitions?" Mike new what these were all too well. Their master had been known to receive visions quite often. But as he looked into Leo's eyes, he could tell that there was something more behind it.

"Splinter won't tell me exactly what they're about. He says he's still trying to figure out their meaning."

Leo's look caused Mike to doubt the sincerity of his sensei's words. "Do you think he's lying?"

Leo lowered his eyes. He hated to accuse his master of concealing the truth, but he knew it was a possibility. "I don't know. All I know is that he hasn't been himself lately, and I...I can see worry in his eyes."

Mike and Leo stared at one another for a long moment. Leo realized that Mike was the only one he could turn to about this. Raph was in his own world right now and Don was having problems of his own. So, he had turned to the only one able to listen, his "little brother".

Deep down, Mike felt a sense of pride. Afterall, Leo had come to him with this, not Raph, not Don, but him. It made him feel good inside to know that Leo trusted him to keep this quiet, and to help him find a solution. He only hoped that he wouldn't let his brother down.

______________________________________________________________________________

No Raph! Watch out!"

Raphael whirrled around and rose his sai to meet with the man's katana. Megan watched in anxious determination as the two battled. Even with all of her latest ninja training, she felt helpless, almost unable to move as she watched in horror.

The man let out a startled cry as Raph stuck his sai into his chest. As he yanked the weapon out, his opponent sank to the ground.

"Come on.", Raph whispered, offering his hand. She took it reluctantly and followed him into the building.

A foggy mist swirled throughout the room, running over their ankles, and enveloping their legs in milky clouds. Raph motioned toward the right, pulling her along.

They entered a maternity ward. Little baby beds and incubators lined the walls. Letting go of Raphael's hand for a moment, she peeked into some of the nearby beds to gaze at the sleeping babies. They looked so peaceful and innocent. Glancing around the room, she noticed a pregnant lady, laying on a table, ready to give birth at any moment. April? No, it couldn't be. She had to do a double take to make sure.

"Hey, look!" She turned her attention toward the far wall where Raphael was opening a door. "Look, I found em'!", he called. Megan's face lit up as hundreds of little baby turtles entered the room and began to scatter toward the exit.

"We did it!", she grinned. "We saved them!"

"We saved them..."

She opened her eyes, and to her surprise, found Raphael leaning over her, his eyes seeming to smile back at her.

"Dreaming?", he grinned.

A smile spread slowly across her face. "Uhhh...yeah.", she whispered.

"What about? What did we find?"

"Believe me, you don't want to know!"

______________________________________________________________________________

Enter the castle

The screen went black, replaced a moment later by a brightly colored picture of the inside of a castle. Suits of armor lined one wall, and elaborate tapestries and paintings filled the others. And to think, I created this game. Don sighed and typed in his next command.

Walk up the stairs.

Of course he knew what was coming. He had written this game from scratch, but still, his anxiety began to build as a new screen flashed before his eyes. A red dragon stood in the center of the room, its eyes flashing with a menacing evil. Donatello had never beaten this creature he had created, but he was determined to do so this time. He knew if he defeated it, he'd win the game.

The dragon attacks!

Don's three fingers flew as fast as his hand would allow. There were only seconds to complete each task, and one mistake could cost him the game. He was doing his best to type as fast as he had before.

Stab dragon in chest with sword.

New words flashed on the screen as the dragon staggered back a step.

Hit. 10 points.

The dragon shoots fire at you.

He looked at the status screen. His character was losing energy. It was only a matter of time before the dragon made toast out of him.

"Not this time, buddy!"

stab dragon with sword

Again he watched in anticipation as the dragon grew weaker, and another 10 points was added to his score. Almost there...

The dragon slices you with his talons.

You are getting weaker.

Don watched as his life bar slowly dwindled away. Just one more hit, and I can beat him! The adrenaline flowing, he mustered all of his concentration and began to type.

Chop off dragon's head with seord.

He watched in horror as the computer replied.

Sorry, I do not recognize the word "seord.”

The dragon burns you to a cinder.

You have died.

"Dammit!" Don jumped up from his seat, grabbed up the computer monitor and threw it to the ground, watching angrily as the glass broke into a hundred peices. "Stupid peice of crap!" If it wasn't for my damn hand, I could have actually won for once! Guess I'll always be a cripple...

Suddenly, the door burst open and Leo entered the room, with Mike close behind him. His eyes scanned over the floor, studying the shards of glass before meeting Don's gaze.

"What happened? Are you all right?"

"We heard a noise...", Mike tried to help explain quietly as he stared down at the mess.

"I'm fine.", Don said evenly. He grabbed up his jacket and shoved past them out the door.

______________________________________________________________________________

The small wooden door slid open fairly easily. Splinter wasn't sure what to make of the old house. It had been a very long time since he had stood within these walls. The floors and window sills were covered in dust, a sure sign that the place had remained vacant for quite some time.

There was no light, except for the faint illumination from the moon that forced its way in and cast eery shadows on the walls. As he stood in the center of the living area, a strange sense of deja vu surrounded him. He felt alone and cold, and the memories of this place tore him up inside. He could picture everything as it had been that final day before Nagi's death. The futon had sat over there against that wall. Yoshi's traning area had been over in that far corner, and his cage had hung right over there.

He closed his eyes, attempting to push out the memories of long ago, but found that there was nowhere to send them. They were real to him now, not just a memory. Now, somehow, they seemed to be linked to his subconscious.

The thought of his master filled him with a frightening sense of dread and despair. He wished he were here with him now. He wished he could see him one more time, to say the things that he had never gotten a chance to tell him. But he had been just an ordinary rat back then, and unable to communicate verbally. He wondered briefly what his sensei would think of him if he were alive to see him now.

"Master Yoshi." Sinking to his knees, he covered his face with his hands and wept.

______________________________________________________________________________

"That's my brother in there?" Shadow pressed her ear to April's stomach, grinning happily as she listened to the faint sound of the baby's heart.

April ran her hand over Shadow's hair and a smile spread across her own face. "Yep. He's in there. Can you feel him?"

"No.", she said excitedly, "But I can hear him!" She lifted her head and smiled up at April anxiously. April took her little hands in hers and held them firmly.

"He'll be here soon, and then I'll need your help to watch over him."

She was only about seven and a half months along now, but it seemed to her that the baby was determined to come out soon. She could feel it moving around in there almost constantly now, and she had almost thought she was going into labor a couple of times already. The thought of the baby coming early didn't really frighten her. In her mind, she was ready, but she did hope it would wait the full term so it would be healthy. The thing that concerned her the most was the idea of being at the wrong place at the wrong time. What if Casey wasn't able to come home to take her to the hospital?

She closed her eyes. You're just panicking yourself. Everything will be fine.

______________________________________________________________________________

"Master Splinter?" A soft voice disrupted the old rat from his thoughts.

"Yes, Leonardo.", he answered quietly.

Leo could distinguish the uneveness in his voice as he entered the dark chamber. "Do you not want some light, sensei?" He approached the candles and struck a match, lighting them in turn. Splinter wiped at his eyes quickly, trying his best to dry the tears from his matted fur.

Master!?", Leo's face showed concern. "Have you been crying?"

Splinter lowered his head to stare at his hands. He said nothing as his pupil crouched down next to him on the mat. Leo kept his eyes pinned on Splinter's features, searching desperately for an explaination that his sensei seemed reluctant to give.

"Master?", he inquired quietly after a long moment. "Is everything okay?"

The rat lifted his eyes to meet Leonardo's. The fur around them was almost dry now, but they still contained an underlying sadness that, try as he might, he could not conceal.

"I'm worried about you, sensei. I can sense that something's not right. Won't you talk to me, please?"

Splinter took his hand and squeezed it gently. "Leonardo, I...I found myself in my old home in Japan."

"The one in Chihaya, with your master Yoshi?"

"Yes." Splinter closed his eyes. "It has brought back so many memories. I am sorry for worrying you, my son, but I could not conceal my grief any longer."

Leonardo understood. "You miss him."

Splinter nodded. "Yes, I do."

Leo wasn't quite sure what to say. He wrapped his arms around his master's shoulders and said quietly, "It's okay, master, I would never deny you your time to grieve. You haven't had much chance for that since you found us."

Splinter remained quiet for a while, his thoughts focused on a place far away.

"Is this what has been troubling you, master?"

Splinter was unsure. "I do not know, Leonardo. I only know that my visions are tied to my deceased master somehow."

Leonardo nodded and rose to his feet. "Wait here, master, I'll bring you some tea."

_____________________________________________________________________________

Donatello entered the lair quietly and threw his jacket on the couch. He had planned on going topside for a while, but decided he'd rather not be in the company of humans at the moment. His common sense had gotten the better of him as well. Who wouldn't notice a giant mutant turtle walking the streets in broad daylight? So, he'd stayed down below, trudging through the sewers, and trying to clear his head.

He tried desperately to make sense of all of this. Why him? Why did he have to face such a terrible fate? His whole life, he had been considered a freak, and now he was crippled as well. He couldn't bear the thought of such a horror. And no one understood. He knew his brothers and sensei meant well, but they could never understand the pain and mental anguish he was going through.

His hands had been his whole life. Looking back on his childhood, there wasn't one point where he couldn't remember using his hands for something important. He had designed video games and computer programs, surfed the internet, built furniture and fixed appliances for the lair, created a hot water heater so they would have warm water for their showers and dishes, fixed numerous things Raph and Mike had broken while sparring or goofing off....

And he had been good at those things. The others, despite their taunting had looked up to him for it. He could almost see the admiration in their eyes. He was important. Without him, they would have none of these things. But now, how valuable was he? He could barely type anymore, let alone defend himself in sparring or fix anything.

He remembered back to the time they had met April, after her apartment had burnt to the ground, and they were forced to flee to Casey's old farmhouse. It had been a time of great loss and hardship for all of them. April's life had gone up in flames, and Leonardo had almost been killed. All of this right at Christmas time. But they had pulled through, and he had been there to help lift their spirits by fixing things up and making their stay a little more comfortable.

He gazed down at his scars and narrowed his eyes. It's all your fault, stupid hand! I'll never do anything important with these hands again.

____________________________________________________________________________

"Hey, let go!" Leo heard Raphael's voice echoing down the sewer tunnels. "Gimme that, will ya?"

He shook his head. Love birds...

Megan grinned and hid the sai behind her back. "Not until you promise to show me how to use it."

Raph sighed playfully. "Fine. I'll show ya. Later."

Megan smiled and handed him the weapon. He took it carefully, as not to accidently jab her with it. Leo watched from the lair, taking note of his brother's new found gentleness and attentiveness. Hmmm...something seems...different about him...

Raph walked up to his brother and flashed him a grin. Leo stared at him wide-eyed as he hurried past him and toward the training room. No insults, no attitude, big cheesy grin...Something is definately strange...

Noticing Leo's bewilderment, Megan flashed him a quick smile and followed after Raphael. Without words, Leo followed them to the training room to begin their lesson.

______________________________________________________________________________

April 29

So many strange things have been happening to me lately. I almost feel as if I am someone else, living another's life. As I reflect on the things that have made me what I am, I suddenly find myself wondering about my own existence. Why am I here? Why are any of us here? We do not belong in this human's world. Yet, I do not regret the events that have changed me. My sons have each influenced my life for the better. Leonardo, for his patience and dedication, his attention to detail. Michaelangelo, for his good humor and his gentle spirit. Donatello, for his brilliant mind and passive attitude. And finally, Raphael, for his determination and passion. I only wish that after this long life I could look back and see that I have made a difference in this world, if not for the world above, then atleast for my sons here below.

But, with my new found memories of Yoshi, I find myself lost and helpless. I feel as though I have forgotten his teachings, as though I am leading them blind, into a world I do not know enough about. I only hope that my sons will be able to forgive me for any wrong doing I have encured upon them. And I also pray that they will use my teachings to grow and flourish long after I am gone.

Splinter set the pen down and closed the book, laying it to rest on a low shelf. He sipped the tea that Leo had brought him, and reflected on his childhood in Chihaya. He longed to go back there some day.

___________________________________________________________________________

"Where's Splinter?" Megan was anxious for the old rat's attendance. Afterall, this was her very first spar, and she wanted desperately to make him proud.

Leo exchanged a quick glance with Mike, before speaking in a low voice. "Master Splinter won't be joining us today."

"What?", Megan was disappointed. What could be more important than seeing his student's first spar? "Why?"

"He's feeling...a little under the weather right now."

"Huh?" Raph's face twisted into a frown. Well, then maybe we should go see how he is..." He started to leave the room, but Leo stopped him.

"Raph, let's save that for after practice, okay?" vRaph stared at him for a moment, not leaving his place by the door.

"He's just got a little cold.", Leo urged him. He wished Raph would just drop this now. He didn't feel like having to explain himself any further.

Megan looked at Raph, her eyes twinkling in the dim light. Leo stared at her for a moment, noticing the strange look of admiration they contained. "Alright.", Raph said atlast, and joined the others. He flashed Megan a smirk and held up his sai. "Ready?"

_____________________________________________________________________________

Mike whirrled his chucks and took a flying leap at Raphael. Raph lunged out of the way, causing Mike to land on his plastron on the floor. He got up quickly, and stood to face Raph again.

"You okay, buddie?", Raph grinned.

Something's peculiar about you, Raph. You're grinning too much.

Leo had chosen Megan for a partner. He figured that Raph and Mike could get pretty intense when it came to a sparring match, and he also rationalized that in Splinter's absence, he was probably the best suited to teach her.

He was really surprised at how quickly Megan had learned the art. Of course she was still a little rusty around the edges, but her performance would be perfected in time.

They battled in hand-to-hand combat, since Megan hadn't learned a weapon yet. He swung at her slowly at first, testing her blocking and dodging abilities. Once he was confident that she could handle herself, he began to throw in a kick here and there, and provided little opportunity for her to make a return attack.

That didn't matter to Megan, however. She held her own very well. Most of her moves were blocks, but on occasion, she got in a few good punches and kicks herself. Leo remembered what his master had taught him about sparring - stop an inch away, so as not to hurt one another. This also taught discipline and attention to detail, something Megan seemed to have mastered quite nicely. Now Raph and Mike on the other hand...

Raph put up his hand, stopping Mike in mid-punch, and gazed over at Leo and Megan. He stood in awe for a moment, wondering how such a delicate creature could create such fierce movements. Mike stared at his brother for a moment, before turning his attention toward the other two. He looked back at Raph's face, noting a hint of wonder in his brown eyes. This is just too weird!

Leo and Megan bowed to one another. "Training's over for today. Nice job, Megan." He flashed Mike a look. "I'm gonna go check on Splinter now."

As Leo left the room, Raph wrapped his arms around Megan, holding her in a gentle embrace. "You were awesome today.", he said quietly. She smiled up at him, a look of adoration in her eyes.

"Thanks."

Mike watched them silently, studying their expressions carefully. What was it about them that seemed so strange? Megan said something to Raph about needing a drink of water, and left the room. Now was his chance.

"So...Raph..."

His brother hardly paid attention to him as he watched the door fall shut once again.

"What's up? Anything new I should know about?"

Raph allowed his eyes to fall on Mike's inquisitive face. He could almost feel the intense urging behind his eyes.

"Nope.", he said flatly, and headed toward the door.

Mike followed after him anxiously, placing himself in the way of the door so his brother couldn't leave just yet. In his mind, he pieced everything together. First, they had gotten here late. Well, he figured, that wasn't too shocking. Raph had a tendency to be late for things he really didn't want to do. But, he had actually been easy on Mike while they sparred. It was like he still had that same fire in him, but his mind was preoccupied with something else. He had been easily distracted too. Then, of course, he had been staring at Megan with that funny look in his eyes all morning, besides the fact that they seemed to be closer somehow, more touchy or something.

"You sure, bro? You're sure nothing's bothering you?"

"No, Mikey. Now get outta my way."

"Wait a minute!" Suddenly, something in Mike's brain snapped, and everything became clear. "Wait a minute! Ha ha!"

Raph stared at the wide-eyed grinning turtle, wondering what he was up to now. "Look, Mikey, I don't have time for your games, okay? I need to get home. I've got...things to do."

Mike's smile spread even more as he rushed up to Raph, grabbing his hand, and shaking it wildly. "Wow! I never thought in a million years..."

Raph frowned at his brother in bewilderment. "What? What are you talkin' about?"

Mike gripped his arms and stared into his eyes. "You did it, didn't you? You finally...I mean, you and Megan..."

Raph pulled his arms from Mike's grasp, a tight knot forming in his throat. "Did what? I don't know what you're talking about." He headed for the door again, not wanting to be under the accusing stare of his brother's eyes any longer.

"Wait, Raph!", Mike grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "You gotta at least tell me what it's like! I mean, I may never..."

Raph's harsh look softened a bit. He brought his face close to his brother's, their beaks almost touching. "You tell the others, and you're dead meat. Understand?"

Mike nodded, and the grin returned.

______________________________________________________________________________

"Master?" Leonardo gazed around the room, searching for his sensei. Hmmm...maybe he went for a walk or something. His eyes scanned the room a moment more, before falling on a book. He picked up the old binding and studied the cover. It appeared to be a journal of some kind. He contemplated whether he should read it or not. It really wasn't nice to pry into someone's private thoughts, but he was worried about his master, and decided that maybe something in here could help explain his troubles.

Scanning the room once more, he tucked the book neatly in his belt and silently left the room. "I'll just borrow it for a little while. Then I'll return it, I promise.", he whispered.