It was painful, all of these emotions that gripped him at once. There was fear, loss, anger, sadness, determination...but most of all, there was remorse. He regretted so much now. There were so many things he would never get to tell her. Had she even really known how much she'd meant to him? Had she realized how completely and desperately he'd loved her? Did she know how much he needed her? How only she could calm his temper? How she’d made him a better person?
Had she understood that he really was happy about this child? That though he had never admitted it to her, or anybody for that matter, he had actually come to like the security of being "tied down"?
He would never have a chance to tell her all that she'd meant to him, all the many ways she'd changed his life and his temper for the better. Why did he have to be so damn pig-headed? Why couldn't he have just let the walls down a little bit more and shown her his inner-most feelings? Now he would never have the chance. He wiped at his eyes quickly. Although Donatello was almost unconscious, he still couldn't risk letting him see him cry.
He rushed through the hallways as if in a dream. Everything around him--the walls, the smoke, the billowing flames at his back, seemed to be disconnected somehow, floating just beyond his reach. His mind felt numb and hazy. He couldn't think. The only thing he knew for sure was that he had to help his brothers, and get them and his baby out of there.
He moved the blanket at his arm and stared down at his son. His son, the life that he and Megan had created together. This too felt like a dream...like a disconnected memory of a past life he had never lived. The gray eyes stared up at him without fear, and though the hands groped at him and the feet kicked, the baby seemed calm, silently questioning the events that were taking place around him.
If you only knew, kid...if you only knew...
Hot...he was so hot. The flames were lapping up around him, had him surrounded on all sides. There was no escape. His bindings were thick and solid. Even so, he struggled to get away. He wouldn't be defeated so easily. Wracking his body, he tugged on the shackles with all of his might, not even bothering to notice the pain as the metal dug into the skin. One way or another he would be free.
His brothers were all dead. He'd seen each of their gruesome demises as if he'd been in their own heads. It was Baxter's form of sick torture, to make him watch his brothers in agony, to observe as their lives slipped away, before he too was just a memory.
It seemed ironic that it would end this way. They had come here to be the heros, to rescue Megan, but they had ended up as the prisoners. And now, they would all be dead as well. His sense of reason told him that he hadn't killed Raphael, that it was just a demented mind game, but a distant part of his brain kept replaying that gory fight scene in great detail, over and over. He was starting to lose sight of where reality ended and fantasy began.
He had watched in concerned agony as Donatello's thigh was pierced with an arrow full of deadly poison. He let out a cry as the turtle went down, sweat covering his determined face as he dug his fingers into the floor beneath him, practically dragging himself down the corridor.
He winced in terror as Michaelangelo was stabbed again and again with a sharp surgical knife, the very girl whom he had at one time been close to, weilding the deadly weapon.
He cried out as he watched himself kill Raphael over and over, stared down at all the pooled blood...
But now those visions were starting to fade. He took a deep breath tensing his muscles, and tugged at the restraints again. He had to break free. He had to help them. He had to find Raphael and prove that he hadn't done this ghastly deed to him. He had to!
"Leo!" A distant voice rang at the back of his mind. It was familiar, but he couldn't place it. "Leo! Dammit Leo! Can you hear me?"
Suddenly, a hand was on his arm, warm and moist, the grip firm, and almost reassuring. "Take it easy, Leo. I'm here to help you." He heard the voice say.
Leonardo opened his eyes. He could see nothing but distorted sillhouettes in the darkness. The flames were gone. They must have been an illusion too, though the room was unmistakeably hot.
"Who are you?" he whispered hoarsely.
"It's me, Leo. It's Raph." He felt a tug at his wrist as the figure fought to unlock the restraint.
"Raph?" Leo squinted his eyes, struggling to see him better. It did indeed sound like his brother. But was he really alive? "Raph, is it really you?"
The figure paused, bringing its face close to Leo's so he could see him in the dim light. "Yeah, Leo. It's me. Now hold still so I can get you outta here."
Leo stared up into the figure's face, recognition filling his features. It was Raphael! He knew he could have never hurt his brother like that. Quickly, the guilt began to fade. Raphael was alive and well, but as for the others, he wasn't so sure.
Raph picked at the lock with his sai, finally breaking it free. Leo pulled his arm from the shackle. Little prickles of pain tingled down it as he worked the stiff muscles.
In a moment's time, Raphael had freed all four of Leo's limbs. Weakened and mentally drained, Leonardo used Raphael's arm as a support to slowly rise to a standing position. The visions had finally faded completely, and he could feel his mind begin to clear again.
Once on his own two feet, Leo's throat began to burn. He let out a strangled cough and nearly fell over from exhaustion. Raph quickly caught him by the arm, and Leo tightened his grip on his shoulder.
"What did Baxter do...?" Leo choked.
"Fire. The whole fucking place is on fire, man. We gotta find Mike and high tail it outta here!"
Leo let out a gasp and nearly stumbled again, but he refused Raphael's help any longer. He sank quickly to his knees, and Raph followed suit.
"So...he's dead then?"
"Yeah...it's over Leo." he said quietly. "It's all over."
Raph led him to where Donatello and the baby were waiting.
"Don!" Leo cried out as he spotted the turtle laying on his back on the floor, unmoving. Glancing down, he noticed that his left thigh was reddish and swollen. So he had indeed been poisoned. "Raph, is Don--?"
"No. No, Leo. But he's real sick. He's unconscious now. He was stuck with a--"
"Poison arrow. I know."
Raph stared at him, puzzled.
"When I saw you were alive, I thought all of it was an illusion..."
"An illusion? What are you talking about, Leo?"
Leo didn't answer. He couldn't. Instead he glanced away, unable to hold contact with Raphael's questioning eyes. He stared down at the bundled up blanket, and his eye caught sight of something miraculous.
"Raph!?" His eyes widened in surprise and excitement. "Raph...is that--"
Raphael smiled faintly, a tinge of pride filling his features for a brief moment. "Leo, meet my son."
It was getting harder to breath now. The smoke in the air was thickening, almost to the point of suffocation. There were no windows in this entire building, except for the lobby area, and even though it was just down the hall, she had no will to make her body move to get there.
She rested her head on her knees, her hands clasped firmly around her shins. She rocked gently back and forth, trying to rid her mind of the plaguing nightmares that refused to subside.
Over and over she looked on in terror as she saw herself stab Michaelangelo, watched the knife sink into his flesh and plastron. Baxter had taken control of her mind. She didn't even know what she was doing. But it couldn't have been real. It couldn't have. Michaelangelo wouldn't have gone down without a fight. Baxter had tricked her. This was all just a sick joke.
Still, she refused to open her eyes. She couldn't bear the thought of this nightmare actually becoming her reality. She couldn't.
"Mike! Mikey!" Distant voices echoed down the corridor. She lifted her head quickly, recognizing them as those of the other turtles. She struggled to her knees and tried to pull her body up to a stand, but found she didn't have the strength. She was too mentally and emotionally drained.
Sinking back down, she glanced around desperately for a way to escape this madness. Her site fell on an object next to her, a body, and she let out a gasp of terror. She was right, she had really stabbed him! The blood was pooled everywhere, and when she rose her hands, she saw that they too were coated with the red fluid. She closed her eyes quickly and burried her face in her arms. It couldn't be! It had to be a trick! Mike was a trained ninja. There was no way she could have possibly wounded him so severely without even so much as a scratch.
"Mike!" She heard the voices calling again, and she began to panic. They were growing close. They would be here any minute, and they would see what she had done...
She began to envision the torture that Raphael would put her through. He must know about Megan by now, and when he found Mike...
Her body began to quake with terror. With every ragged breath, her lungs became heavier and heavier, causing her to feel light-headed. Gulping up as much air as she could force into her lungs, she moved toward Michaelangelo, and carefully moved his arm from across his chest to lay it at his side. That's when she saw the gash. There had only been one to the plastron, about six inches long, but it was deep, and had cracked the shell open, right at the joint down the middle of his chest. She gasped in terror as she stared at the blood that was still flowing from the open wound.
The rest of the damage she'd managed to inflict had been minimal in comparison. Some deep cuts and lacerations covered his arms, also leaking the precious red fluid, but the chest wound was by far the worst.
She laid her head on Mike's plastron, not even caring if she got blood in her hair, and listened for signs of life. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to hear a heartbeat through the plastron, but it was worth a try.
"Come on, Mike." she whispered. "You gotta be okay, please!"
The turtle didn't stir. She pressed her ear against his plastron again, but before she could focus her attention on a heartbeat, a hand was gripping her arm forcefully. Suddenly, she was pulled away from him. She let out a yelp of surprise and stared up into the burning eyes of Raphael.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing!?" He was gripping her too tight, but she didn't dare complain.
"Mike...Mikey!" Leo was kneeling over his brother, trying desperately to get a response. His heart was pounding as he laid his hand on Mike's neck, feeling for a pulse. After a moment, he turned to Raph, worry and fear on his face. "It's bad, Raph, it's real bad. The wound is deep. He's lost a lot of blood."
It was painful to ask the question, especially in light of what had happened already, but he had to have the answer. "I...is he..."
"No...I can feel a pulse, but it's very faint. If we don't get him out of here in the next few minutes--"
"I outta kill you..." Raph's hateful stare burned into Amber again, and his grip tightened, causing her to yelp in pain.
"Raph...don't." Leo pleaded. "Just leave it...please. We have to get him out of here..."
"But Leo, she's got his fucking blood on her hands!" He grabbed her by the wrist and held up her hand so Leo could see the deep red stain of his brother's blood. She tried to pull her hands free so she could hide her guilt and shame, but his grip was too strong.
"And you said you saw--"
"I know, Raph...believe me...I know..." It wasn't a memory he wanted to keep. Every time he saw her hurt his brother, and watched Mike stand there helplessly, an urge to make her suffer crept up on him. Raph was right--this girl did indeed deserve to be punished for what she'd done, but, gathering his sensibilities, he also realized that she had been under Baxter's power when she weilded that knife. Poor Mike. He'd had a spell placed on him, unabling him to even move out of the way of the attack, let alone defend himself. Leo closed his eyes as he pictured the knife sinking in again, Mike trying desperately to free himself from the spell's grasp, his screams of pain...
Raphael hated the idea of not punishing her for what she'd done. The urge to run her through with his sai was very strong, but he knew Leo was right. His brothers came first. Michaelangelo was dying, and there was very little time to save his life. He vowed to himself that he would have his revenge, however. He let go of her, nearly shoving her out of his way, and rushed to Mike's side. Leo untied his bandana and laid it over Mike's wound, pressing down on it firmly. He hoped that the make-shift bandage would slow down the blood loss and buy them some time. Raph lifted Mike and laid him in Leo's arms. He glanced at Don, and then at Mike, both unconscious, both dying from the effects of Baxter's twisted plans. Then he thought about Megan and his heart sank. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. He was supposed to resuce them all. He should have been able to defeat the enemy before anyone he cared about had gotten hurt. He was better than to let Baxter win. Everything was fading away around him--his brothers, his wife...nothing would ever be the same again. And even though he had never really been one for a lot of company, he couldn’t bear the thought of being alone.
"Raph..."
He glanced at Leo and noticed that his eyes had begun to well up with tears. Whether it was from the smoke or from emotion, he couldn't tell. The room was growing hotter and time was running out. He rushed to Donatello, and lifted him and the baby into his arms again. Still the baby didn't cry, just murmured and cooed, and reached it's tiny hands toward him. He bit his lip, determined not to lose it.
"You're coming with us." Leo ordered Amber.
The girl swallowed hard, her eyes as round as marbles. "I..."
"Leo, are you nuts!? This bitch killed our brother!"
"We don't know that yet." Leo said softly. "Besides...she's the only one who can help us--"
"I don't understand you, Leo! Help us? For godsake, she--"
"She's a nurse, Raph." Leo urged gently. "With Mike and Megan both..." He could already see the hurt and pain well up in Raph's eyes again, and he wished he hadn’t mentioned her name. "She's the only one who knows medicine. We need her."
Amber wasn't sure what to do. She was still afraid of what they might do to her if she agreed to help them, but what was even more frightening was picturing what Raphael might do to her if she refused.
Raphael didn't like this idea one bit. This girl was nothing but trouble. Why couldn’t they just leave her here to her fate? She had tried to kill his brother, and she’d left Megan here to die for chrissake! But he knew there was no time to argue with Leo. Besides, if there was a chance that she could help Michaelangelo live, he had to at least try. He could always fulfil his vow of vengeance later.
"Fine." he said at last.
"Wait..." Amber stared at Leo pleadingly. "My father..."
Raphael’s face twisted up into a frown. Hadn’t she said her father was Baxter’s right hand man? Hadn’t he aided in Megan’s torture? There was no way he could will himself to save that man’s life.
Leo stared toward the hallway, which was already filling with heavy smoke. He knew what it was like...knowing your father was going to die, and being unable to help him. Raphael's words from the illusion burned into him again. "Ever since you let Splinter die..."
For the first time since he’d met her, he felt for her. He could relate to her feeling of desperation and despair. But he knew there was nothing they could do now. The smoke was too thick. The fire was growing near, and it had already spread through most of the building. If they went off after Baxter's sidekick, his brothers probably wouldn't make it. Besides, at the rate the building was burning, he was probably dead already anyway.
Amber saw the apologetic look in Leo's eyes, and she began to cry. It was too late. If her father wasn't dead by now, he would be in a matter of minutes, and they didn't even know where to begin looking for him. Maybe it was better this way though. Baxter was dead. His spell would be broken, and her father would be forced to live with the reality of what he had done. It was almost too much for her to bear herself. And when she looked at Michaelangelo...
"Maybe we should try." Leo said softly to Raphael.
"Leo..." Raphael looked at him sternly. "You know there's no time. Do you wanna die here? Do you want Mike and Don to lose their lives in this hell hole?" Raphael bit his lip, trying hard to fight against the raging emotions that were building up inside of him. "I've already lost one person I loved. Don’t make me lose any more."
Leo stared into Raph's eyes, speechless. Were those tears welling up over the hard expression? It was one of the rare times that his brother had shown true, unconcealed emotion. He knew what it was like to lose someone you loved. Splinter was the closest thing he had ever known to a father. And he had loved and respected him so entirely, that the very thought of him still left a gaping wound in his heart, an emptiness that would never be filled.
And Raphael...he could see the internal struggle he was battling. The fire, the pain, the agony was building up in him so intensely that he had to fight with everything he had not to cry out. His world had been turned upside down. Nothing would be the same again, ever. He owed both Raph and himself this much. He couldn't let anything else leave them. He had to hold them all together. He had to make sure they were safe.
"Amber, I--"
"I know..." she sobbed. "I know...it's too late."
It was a long haul. The windows in the lobby had broken out easily, and Leo and Raph managed to get them all out of the building, but they were far from being safe. Donatello's breathing had become erratic, and try as they might, they simply could not wake him up. Mike was even worse. It was hard to find the faint, slow pulse, and when they put their hands up to his beak, they could barely feel a trace of breath brush their fingertips. It was probably already too late to save them, but Leo wouldn't allow himself to think that way. As long as their hearts were beating, there was still hope.
Without a vehicle, their trek was slow going. Leo carried Mike, and Raph somehow managed to balance both Donatello and the baby in his arms. There was no way he was going to allow Amber to so much as touch him.
They were tired. The smoke that filled their lungs, mixed with the mental and emotional torment, had drained them near the point of exhaustion. What made it even worse was the fact that, even though it was pitch black outside, and most of the world was asleep, they still had to do the best they could to conceal themselves. That was a difficult task, seeing how they were dragging unconscious bodies while being nearly dead on their feet themselves. They had only gone a few blocks when Raph spotted a pay phone across the street at a gas station. The place was fairly well-lit, but the station itself seemed to be empty except for two cars and a motorcycle parked near the convenience store. He decided to risk it. He had to get help fast.
Finally, they found a nice, well-hidden spot in an alley. Exhausted, they carefully leaned Mike and Don against the concrete wall, pausing to catch their breath. Leonardo, still physically exhausted from his mental ordeal, was grateful to sink down against the cold surface and rest his weary mind. Amber too, sat reluctantly, away from the others, her mind filled with terror and regret.
Unwilling to take his sight off of his son for even a second, Raph clutched the baby in his arms, threw the make-shift cloak around them again, and hurried across the street.
He slipped into the booth quickly, shutting the door behind him. It was cramped inside, with little room for movement, and he couldn't help but wonder for a moment how Superman managed to change all of his clothes in one of these in only a matter of seconds.
The numbers were small for his thick fingers. Good thing he only needed the "0" button.
The operator came on and asked in a pleasant voice. "Can I help you?"
"Yeah," Raph breathed anxiously. "I need to make a collect call. Four-two-five...three-three-seven-eight."
"Just a moment please."
That 'moment' felt like an eternity as Raphael listened to the phone ring again and again.
Come on...pick up, dammit!
"Hello?" Finally a groggy voice answered.
"April, it's Raph! You gotta--"
"You have a collect call from..." the operator interrupted.
"It's me, Raph! And I--"
"Will you accept the charges?"
Raphael was getting frustrated. Why wouldn't this dumb lady just shut up so he could get help?
"Yes, of course!" Her voice was alert now, and a little concerned.
"Thank you." Raph could hear the sound of the operator disconnecting from the conversation.
"About damn time..." he mumbled.
"Raph?" her voice was shaking now. "What is it? What's going on?"
"April, listen, we need you. "There was a fire and--well, look, Don and Mike are hurt. We need you to meet us..."
"Oh my god!" April breathed. No matter how many times she had gotten calls like this, she never got used to it. "Where are you?"
He gave her the cross-streets and glanced out across the street at the patch of darkness where he knew his brothers were waiting. "Hurry April, please."
"Hey babe..." Casey pulled the covers higher up over his chest and rubbed his eyes. "Who was that? It's two-thirty in the morning."
She stood there, paralyzed for a moment, a million thoughts racing through her head. When Casey noticed her fear, he sat up and turned on the beside lamp.
"April?"
"Casey..." she said quietly. "That was Raph...something bad has happened..."
"Leo, I'm going, and that's it!"
"But Raph..." He scooted himself from the wall, and rose shakily to his knees. "What do you expect to find there?"
"You know why I'm going..." He reluctantly handed the baby to Leonardo. He hated the idea of leaving him. The baby was his last connection to her. If anything happened to it... But he realized it was far too dangerous to take him along. Anxiously, he glanced back across the street at the motorcycle so ready for the taking.
"I know...but Raph...she's--"
"It doesn't matter, Leo. She was my wife, for chrissakes! I ain't gonna just leave her body there to burn. I'm goin' back."
Leo knew there was no arguing with him. He stared down at the tiny bundle in his arms. It had Raph’s eyes...but that smile...that was definitely hers. "Fine.” He struggled against the tears. But Raph, be careful...please."
A faint smile spread accross Raphael's lips. It was the first time ever he had won an argument with Leo so quickly. Too bad he couldn’t savor the moment. But the smile soon faded, and the darkness returned to his eyes. "They'll be here soon. Just hang in there, man.” The pain inside of him made him want to burst. Maybe he was being foolish, selfish, but he just couldn’t leave her there. Yet, his brothers were dying, and he was leaving them. “And don't you let them come back for me. You just get our bros home."
“But Raph—“
“And Leo…” he paused for a moment, swallowing hard as the emotions threatened to engulf him again. “Just…if anything happens…just promise me you’ll take care of him.”
“Raph, don’t talk like that!” Leo could feel the heat returning to his eyes, feel it spill over and course down his cheeks.
“I mean it, Leo.” He bit down hard, gritting his teeth to fight back the tears. “This is the first and only time I’m ever gonna say this to you--Please!”
Leo had never heard that word come from Raphael in such a sincere manner. Finally he understood what this meant to his brother. He had to do this. He had to bring her back, just as Leo’d had to protect Splinter. It was much deeper than superficial goodbyes. She was a part of him, just as Splinter had been.
“Swear it to me.” Raphael pleaded.
Leo swallowed, choking back the tears. “I swear.” He said softly.
Raphael laid a hand on Leo’s shoulder, gripping it, a sort of forced half-smile spreading across his lips for a few seconds, dark determination filling his eyes. No words needed to be exchanged. They both knew how they felt.
"But Raph, how are you ever gonna get there on time?"
He glanced across the street at the bike again. "Don't worry about that. I have my ways."
He sped down the street as fast as he could in the Bel Aire, hoping to God that he would get there on time, that he could find a way to fit them all in. His heart was racing. His friends were dying, and he didn't even know yet if they'd found his cousin.
He gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles turned white. He realized he was shaking. Taking deep breaths, he tried to focus on being calm, but with him, that never came easy. He knew it wasn't going to do him or his friends any good to go off the deep end. Whatever he met up with when he got to the scene, he would deal it and ask questions later.
Raphael crouched in the darkness, the blanket billowing all around him in the breeze. It was getting colder. He hoped that the snow wouldn't start to fall again until he was finished. Glancing up at the sky, he could see clouds above him. They blocked out the moon, just as the heaviness in his heart blocked out all traces of joy and hope.
He stared at the motorcycle in awe. It was a beautiful machine--a Harley Soft Tail, one of the finest muscle bikes he'd ever seen. The engine and pipes were highly polished chrome, and the body was just the right color--black, with a splash of red flames over the gas tank. He figured it might be a little akward to drive, seeing as he was on the short side, and the long handlebars stretched high above the bike’s frame, but it didn’t matter. He’d always wanted to ride one of these, and he knew this might be his only chance. He examined the bike, pinpointing it to be an eighty-six. It was perfect. These older bikes were so easy to hotwire.
He glanced around the deserted parking lot again to make sure that the owner of this fine machine wasn't anywhere to be seen. He knew it wasn’t exactly right of him to steal someone’s vehicle, even if it was to rescue his wife’s body from a building of flames. "I'm just gonna...borrow it." he reassured himself quietly.
Lowering to his knees, he found the wire for the bike's power switch and cut it neatly with one of his sai. He glanced around again, one last time before running the cut wire to the battery, striking them together quickly until the engine started up. The deep roar of the machine cut into the silent darkness, filling him with a renewed sense of determination.
"Piece of cake!" He grinned.
Leonardo’s head shot up quickly at the sound of screeching tires. He must have dozed off for a few minutes. A little disoriented, he set the baby down gently and shuffled along the wall to peer around the building. A car had just pulled up to the curb, and he recognized it as Casey’s. At last! Casey jumped out of the car, almost in a frenzy, and when he spotted Leonardo, he ran to him.
“Come on” Leo said quickly. “They’re over here.”
The tires screeched against the wet pavement, and he almost tipped the bike as it slipped over a patch of ice, but he righted himself quickly and continued on. He wouldn’t give up. This was too important. He just hoped that her body would still be in tact. He couldn’t bear the thought of having to bring back a charred corpse to bury. He shook his head and wiped his eyes hastily with the back of his hand, furious at himself for allowing the tears to escape.
He saw the building looming ahead, a bright blaze set against the dark New York sky. The police would be here soon, he had no doubt. His adrenaline flowing, Raph revved the bike harder, and tensing his muscles, drove straight through the crumbling door of the building, and into the surrounding flames.
With less passengers to transport than he anticipated, he fit them in without too much trouble. They rested Don in a sitting position in the backseat with his head tilted back against the headrest. Leonardo made sure the seatbelt was fastened around him, incase they had to make any sudden stops. Amber sat on the other side, not so much as even a word coming from her mouth as they laid Michaelangelo across both of their laps.
Leo couldn’t help but feel sorry for Amber as he crawled into the front seat. Her face was filled with tears as she cradled Mike’s head in her lap. Maybe she really did care for him, or maybe the tears were solely for her father, he couldn’t tell. In either instance, he knew what it felt like to watch someone you love die. But wasn’t it she that had done this to him? Why did he care so much when she was the cause of their suffering? It wasn’t entirely her fault, he reminded himself.
“My god…is that--?” In all the excitement, Casey hadn’t even noticed the tiny infant that Leo now held in his arms. The baby laid there, staring up at him quietly, with wondering eyes.
“Yeah…” Leo forced a weak smile. “This is your cousin’s son.”
”Son?” Casey swallowed and reached toward Leo, who carefully laid the child in his arms. “My god…” he gasped as he stared down at it. It no longer mattered that the child wasn’t fully human, or that he hadn’t totally approved of the relationship between its parents. “It…it’s incredible, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Leo fought against the tears, struggled desperately to choke down the sobs as he thought of his brother searching for her now in the burning building. “Incredible.”
Casey noticed his friend’s uneasiness. “Leo…where’s Megan?”
“She…” He could feel his pulse knot up in his throat. How could he possibly bring himself to tell Casey about her death with all that he had to deal with at the moment? Still, he remembered the fight and hurt feelings that had ensued when he wasn’t honest about Splinter’s ailment. Sighing, he closed his eyes, trying to calm himself enough to make an advantageous decision.
“Casey…” He looked into his friend’s concerned eyes, and almost melted. He knew in his heart there was no way he could lie to him. This was too important. He only hoped that it wouldn’t interfere with the task at hand. “About Megan…she…”
“Oh god!” Amber wailed from the back. “Make it go away, please! Just make it all go away…”
Casey and Leo turned around quickly, startled. Amber’s face was streaked with tears, and she was brushing her fingers across Mike’s forehead. Leo’s brothers looked so helpless, so lifeless. He and Casey exchanged worried glances. “We better get them home, fast.” Leo said, deeply concerned, but somewhat thankful for the interruption.
Casey handed the baby back to Leo, and gripped the steering wheel. Within two second’s time, the engine was started. Casey floored the gas pedal and the car peeled out into the street.
The heat was almost unbearable, but he didn’t care. Pulling the blanket up over his head to shield it from the burning debris, Raphael sped up the bike, skidding it around corners as he dodged the falling construction and broken pieces of glass on the floor. With every breath, the thick smoke filled his lungs, stinging his eyes and making it hard to breath. Still, with determination in his heart, he carried on. He wouldn’t leave her here. He couldn’t.
The air was heating up all around him. He could almost feel it burning his skin. Closing his eyes, he said a silent prayer that he wouldn’t meet up with something ghastly when he found her. He couldn’t bear it if she was anything less than perfect.
The room was very different from when he’d left it. Almost everything had been destroyed, and the flames hungrily lapped up the walls on all sides. The bike screeched to a halt and, pulling the blanket tighter around himself, he ran toward the center of the room, to the desk that had, for the most part, managed to remain untouched by the fire. The flames were growing dangerously close however, and one side of the desk had already been charred beyond repair.
Coughing, he knelt down and crawled beneath the desk. Luckily, the smoke wasn’t so bad down here, and his lungs actually had the chance to clear for a moment. His eyes welled up again when he realized she was still intact. Had he only gotten here a few moments later, she probably would have been unrecognizable. He wrapped his arms around her, wishing, wanting her to be alive again. With all his breath, with all his life, he wished that he could take her place, to be rid of this pain.
The crackle of burning wood reminded him of the task at hand. The desk was quickly disintegrating, and soon their shelter would be gone. He scooped her up into his arms, despair filling him, and carried her to the bike. He wanted to just sit there and hold her, to forget his pain and torment, but he knew there was no time. He sat her limp body sideways on the seat, and rested her head against his right arm, covering them both as best he could with the blanket. Then quickly, he revved up the bike again and sped back into the flames.
“My god…” April tried to choke down the tears, but the surprised sob escaped despite her efforts . It was a horror beyond comprehension. She’d always worried about this day, but she could have never even begun to know what it would be like if it had actually happened. She was thankful they’d managed to be quiet enough not to wake the kids. Sucking in a shaky breath, she rushed to Michaelangelo’s side and watched in nervous anticipation as Amber applied the bandages to his arms and plastron.
“God…” she whispered. “It’s bad…isn’t it?”
Amber stared down at the deep gash in Michaelangelo’s plastron. Thanks to Leo’s quick thinking, the flow of blood had finally stopped. But upon further examination, the extent of the injury became clearer. She had cut down to the bone, barely missing vital organs such as his lungs and heart. Only time would tell now if he would live or die. She only wished that there was a way to get a hold of a heart monitor. She hoped Casey would return quickly with her things so she could start an IV.
“Yeah…” she said quietly, the guilt gripping her. “Yeah…it’s bad.”
April bit her lip as the tears came again. This time she didn’t try to stop them. There was no point.
Leonardo was keeping his mind busy as he worked feverishly on Donatello. He had learned a little about poison in his ninja training and from books. In their line of work, it was very possible to be pierced with poison tipped shuriken or other weapons. He was grateful for his studies now. Maybe they would finally pay off.
He knew that Donatello’s time was running out. The poison had been in his system for too long. The only thing on their side was Don’s body weight, and the fact that turtle’s metabolisms were generally slower than that of humans, but even that wasn’t much of a help at this point.
Carefully, Leonardo cut a slit in the back of Don’s thigh, directly below the wound. He watched eagerly as the blood began to flow down his leg. The sooner he could get the poison out of his bloodstream, the better. Quickly, he dug through Amber’s small medical pouch, searching for a tube or some type of suctioning device he could use. He found none.
“Dammit!” he cursed. “I hope Casey hurries up with that damn stuff!” Then he had an idea. “Hey, April, could you get me a straw out of the kitchen?”
As April hurried off to do as Leo requested, the door flew open, and in stumbled Raphael. He was covered from head to toe with black soot, and although obviously weary, he still cradled Megan in his arms. April let out a horrified gasp when she saw them.
“Raph!” Leonardo rushed to him and tried to take Megan from his arms, but he wouldn’t let him.
“No...just let me...” he breathed.
Leo took Raph by the arm and led him quickly down the hallway. Casey appeared only moments with a bag over his shoulder. “I hope this is what you needed, cuz I don’t wanna have to go out again. It’s freezing out there!”
Amber took the bag from him, trying desperately not to cry. Seeing Raphael carry the limp body of Megan had almost been too much. It’s all my fault, she told herself. All of this...it’s my fault.
Casey saw April’s tear streaked face, and he grew serious. “April, what is it?”
“Oh god, Casey...” she sobbed, glancing toward the guest bedroom. “Raph just got here, and--”
Before she could finish, Casey was down the hall.
He laid in bed feeling a little disoriented. He could hear voices out in the living room. It sounded as if his aunt was crying. Sitting up, he glanced over at the bed next to him. Shadow was still sleeping, and Christian was making no sound from his crib. As The voices grew louder, he strained to hear what was being said.
“Oh god!!” his uncle Casey was yelling urgently now. “God no...tell me this isn’t happening!”
He could hear his aunt April’s terrified sobs again.
“Raph? Raph, are you okay?” That was Leonardo.
“Oh god...” A female voice he hadn’t heard before. “God, I--”
“Her fault...” Raphael’s voice was weak and strained.
“What!?” Casey was yelling again, and it sounded as though he was crying. “What do you mean, Raph?”
“Her fault...” Raphael said again. “This is all her fault!”
“No...please, I--” the girl protested nervously.
“Grrr! I’ll kill you!” Casey yelled.
Trevor pulled the covers up under his chin. All of this yelling and crying and talk of killing people was beginning to scare him. He had tried so hard to forget his father, but now all of the bad memories were beginning to come back to him.
“No, Casey, come on. Calm down.” Leonardo’s voice came again.
“Dammit, Leonardo! Megan’s dead!” Casey yelled.
A loud thud sounded, almost like something heavy hitting the wall.
Trevor’s eyes widened in fear. He didn’t know who Megan was, but someone else had died. He thought about his mother then, and he began to cry.
Casey was sitting on the edge of the couch, his elbows resting on his knees, his head in his hands. He was quiet and unmoving as Trevor walked past him. He glanced around the room. Michaelangelo was laying on the couch behind Casey. A thick bandage was wrapped over his plastron, a large brown circle staining the fabric. He stared at him in terror. What had happened? Michaelangelo had always been so nice to him, and so funny. He hoped he was going to be alright. A girl was kneeling next to him. Her hands were shaking and her face was streaked with tears as she pulled a blanket over him and began to take his temperature. She looked near the point of collapse.
Leonardo had Donatello situated plastron-first on the love seat. A plastic tube was sticking out of the back of his leg, draining what appeared to be blood into a large plastic bowl on the floor. Leonardo looked scared, and that frightened Trevor.
“Leonardo?”
The turtle glanced up quickly, startled by the voice. “Trevor!? What are you doing up? You shouldn’t be here right now. You should be in bed asleep.”
“What’s wrong with Donatello?”
The look in Trevor’s eyes made Leo want to reach out and pull him into a hug. He looked so lost and so scared.
“He...he’s...sleeping...”
Trevor’s eyes widened in terror. That was just what April had told him about his mother when she’d died. Concern wafted through Leo when he noticed the boy’s tears.
“No...Trevor, it’s okay. Donatello’s still alive. He’s just unconscious.”
But that didn’t do too much to comfort the kid. “He can’t die.” he sniffled.
“Hey...” Leo’s voice was reassuring. “He’s not going to die...I promise.” He only hoped that it was a promise he could keep.
“Uhhh...Leo...” Amber called to him from the couch. “Mike’s going to need a blood transfusion.” She drew out an IV bag from her medical supplies, searching for some place to hang it. “Do you think you could--”
“I’d love to Amber, but Don’s going to need one soon too. We’re going to need Raph to help out.”
Amber wasn’t sure she liked the thought of that.
Trevor watched the blood flow through the tube from Donatello’s leg. “Why is he bleeding like that?”
Leo searched for the right words to explain the procedure in a way Trevor could understand. “He got stabbed by an arrow that had poison on it, and the poison got into his blood, so I have to drain out the bad blood before--”
“You mean you had to siphon out the toxicity before it spreads through his system?”
Leonardo stared at Trevor dumbfounded. Where had he learned to speak like that? “Uhhh...something like that, yeah...”
But Trevor showed no pride in knowing the scientific terms. He only stared at Donatello’s face, wishing he would open his eyes. “Don’t die...” he whispered.
“Hey, come here.” Leo stretched out his arms, and Trevor hurried into them, pressing his cheek against Leo’s plastron. Leo held him tight, feeling the warmth stream down his cheeks agian. He was unsure which one of them needed the comforting more.
The following morning, April woke up early. She’d only gotten a couple hours of sleep, but she found she just couldn’t relax enough to benefit from it. She got up carefully, trying not to wake Casey. Poor Casey...the news of his cousin’s tragic death had been horrific for all of them, but aside from Raphael, he’d taken it the hardest. Seeing her body was more than he was able to handle.
She shivered as she pulled the robe around her. She wanted to cry, but found she couldn’t. Her emotions were in shock, and she felt numb all over. Maybe it had all been a dream. Maybe when she walked out into the living room, Mike and Raph would be watching cartoons together, noisily arguing over whether the road runner or the coyote should win, as always. Maybe Donatello would be in the den, typing feverishly at his computer. Maybe Leo would be in the basement practicing his katas. Maybe Megan would be making coffee in the kitchen...
But when she stepped out into the hallway, the painful truth stared her in the face. It had definately not been a dream. Leo was awake and sitting up on the loveseat next to Don. He had been up all night from the looks of it. Don’s leg had been stitched and bandaged, and it looked as though he was breathing normally again. Leonardo looked exhausted as he rubbed his bicep. April noticed he had at least three small patches on his arm, probably from where Amber had stuck the needle into him for the blood transfusions.
“Just one more.” Amber said quietly, approaching him.
It was clear that Leo really wasn’t up for it, but he didn’t complain. Instead, he held his arm out willingly and watched calmly as the needle sank again into his skin. Once three vials were filled, Amber removed the needle and pressed a cotton swab to the wound to stop the bleeding.
“I can do this.” Leo said, taking it from her. “Just take care of Donnie.”
When Amber moved out of the way to get a new needle, April noticed Trevor asleep on the floor at Leo’s feet. “He slept here all night?”
Leo glanced up at her, noticing her presence for the first time. “Yeah...I tried to get him to go back to bed, but he refused to leave Don’s side.”
April forced a smile. “It’s okay, Leo. He’s grown pretty attached to Donatello over the past few weeks.” She stared down at her friend, noticing that some of his color had returned. “How’s he doing?”
“I think he’ll be okay.” Leo said gently. “It took a long time last night, trying to get all the poison from his system, but I think we got most of it now. Now it’s just a waiting game. Waiting to see if his condition continues to improve, and hoping he’ll wake up.”
April ran her fingers over Donatello’s cheek, and could feel the reassuring warmth of his skin. It looked as though he’d pull through, and that gave her a renewed sense of hope.
Mike, however, was another story. Amber had worked feverishly all night long, sewing up the gaping chest wound, and taking blood from a reluctant Raphael. He hadn’t been very obliging, or very nice to her for that matter. At least three times, he’d snapped at her about all of this being her fault. He blamed her for Mike’s condition, and when she thought about it, she really couldn’t blame him. She had been the one holding the knife, whether it was Baxter’s doing or not. If only her mind hadn’t been so suseptible...
Leo couldn’t help but think about the fight for their lives he and Donatello had with the Foot only a couple years previous. Donatello had been wounded badly, and he nearly lost his hand, but he’d pulled through and eventually made a complete recovery. He could only hope that would be the case now. Poor Mike. He had been so close to death from the poisonous mutagen in his bloodstream, and now it looked as though they might lose him all over again. Closing his eyes, Leo sucked in a breath, trying desperately to push the thoughts away, to think positively, to cling to hope.
Michaelangelo was now sprawled out on the couch as comfortably as they could make him look. His skin was still ghastly pale from the blood loss, and Amber knew he needed a few more transfusions. She was reluctant to make that fact known, however, since Leo had already given up too much blood, and she knew Raphael would put up a fight about having to be stuck with another needle.
Mike’s breathing was still faint too. He hadn’t really improved much from his condition last night. His temperature was too low, his pulse was too slow, and he was still unconscious. How she wished she could get him to a hospital! With the limited medical supplies she had, it was very hard to make much of a difference in his recovery process at all.
Raphael came in from the hallway looking exhausted. He’d stripped himself of his mask and pads, revealing the full magnitude of his eyes. From the redness they contained, and his general weary demeanor, it was clear that he hadn’t slept much last night either. April was worried about him. He refused to leave Megan’s or his baby’s side for more than a couple minutes at a time, and he was even more distant than usual. He was oddly quiet too, something that was rare for her hot-headed, and at times obnoxious friend.
Amber cleared her throat and stared at him nervously. “Ummm...Mike’s gonna need some more blood.”
Raphael rolled his eyes. “Aww man...not again. I’m a turtle, not a pin cushion.”
“I’ll do it.” Leonardo said.
“No.” Amber returned quickly. “You’ve already given too much. You need to rest. And make sure you eat some of those cookies on the coffee table.”
Raphael gritted his teeth and held out his arm. “Fine. Let’s just get his over with then.” He looked away as Amber pierced the needle into his skin. The Foot he could deal with. A fight to the death he could handle. But needles had always been his weakness.
Amber drew the blood as quickly as she could, not wanting to have to face him for too long. She could still see the hatred burning in his eyes.
“I’m doing this for Mikey, you know. Not for your personal gratification of saving his life.”
She was insulted. “You know, Raph, I’m trying to help him. I know that it was my fault, but I’m trying--”
“No shit it was your fault! If it hadn’t been for you, Mike wouldn’t be laying here bloody and unconsious, and my wife wouldn’t be dead!” He got up angrily, his fists clenched, and stormed back down the hall to the bedroom. A moment later, there was a loud thump as Raphael’s fist made contact with the wall.
April started after him, but Leo stopped her. “Leave him, April. There are some things he just needs to work out right now.”
”The world is a vampire, sent to drain…secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames…”
As the music poured from the speakers, his fists made contact with the punching bag again and again. He could feel the heat rising up, could feel it burst as the bag swung clumsily on its hinges.
”…and what do I get, for my pain…betrayed desires, and a piece of the game…”
It wasn’t fair. His wife was dead. She was the only woman who had ever made him feel so utterly and totally helpless, and it had been a good feeling. And now Michaelangelo and Donatello were dying right in front of him, and he was practically helpless to do anything about it.
”Even though I know-I suppose I'll show…all my cool and cold-like old job…”
And that girl, Amber. She had been a part of this. The things that were falling apart around him had been destroyed by her and by a very evil man, their arch-nemesis whom she had protected by not sharing her secret. The anger began to build inside of him again.
“Dammit!” He punched over and over with all of his might, the bag flailing wildly.
”Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage…then someone will say what is lost can never be saved. Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage…”
The fury in Raph’s eyes grew to an almost unrecognizable point. If he’d had a mirror at that moment, he probably would have frightened himself.
“Now I'm naked, nothing but an animal…but can you fake it, for just one more show…”
Thud…thud…thud…
”…and what do you want, I want to change…and what have you got…when you feel the same…”
Thud, thud, thud, thud…
”Even though I know-I suppose I'll show…all my cool and cold-like old job…Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage…”
Slam!
The bag went flying across the room and collided with the wall. Raphael ripped off his wrist pads and sank down to the floor, exhausted. Large beads of sweat glistened on his skin and streamed down his forehead. Defeated and frustrated, he laid his head on his knees and closed his eyes, trying desperately to push the haunting images away. He didn’t want to think about her anymore, but the more he tried to push her away, the more persistant his thoughts of her became.
“Raphael?”
He glanced up, startled, unaware that anyone had been in the room with him. It was Leonardo, and his face was filled with concern and understanding. Raph realized that Leo must have been standing there watching him for a while.
“Leo…please, just…don’t, okay?”
“Raph, I’m not here to try to cheer you up, or to make you pretend that everything is okay.” He said gently. “Believe me, I know it’s not. It won’t be for a really long time.”
Raphael shifted his weight. “Yeah, well…I’m sick of everyone worrying about me all the time. I just want to be left alone.”
Leo sat down next to him on the floor and laid a hand gently on his leg. He thought Raph would pull away, but surprisingly he didn’t. “Remember what you said to Donnie the other night…about needing him? Well…I need you, Raph.”
“Pshhh…yeah…” Raphael rolled his eyes.
“Raph, listen…you’re all I have right now. I mean, Casey and April are great, but…but they just can’t understand. They don’t know what it’s like when one of us…”
“You feel it too?” Raph looked at him questioningly.
“Of course. I always do. Just like when Splinter—“ he stopped short and lowered his eyes, those words from the previous night still haunting his memory.
“Leo…don’t, okay?”
But Leonardo couldn’t help it. As he though about Splinter, disappointment filled him. What would his master have thought if he’d still been here? With all of the visions that had plagued him, he should have been able to figure out what was going on. As he remembered the images of a table, of restraints, the feeling of utter loneliness, something dawned on him. Those weren’t premonitions as he’d decided they had been. They were her thoughts. He had been there, seeing what she was going through, suffering with her. He closed his eyes, pain and guilt traveling through him.
He should have known. He should have realized that it was her all along. He could have helped her! Maybe if he’d just concentrated a little harder, he could have figured out where she was, a way to help her. Maybe he could have prevented all of this. If only...
He should have stayed here. He should never have demanded that he go with Don and Raph to find Robyn’s son. If he had been here, April would have never gotten hurt. Robyn would still be alive, and so would Megan and his brothers.
He pictured Michaelangelo, the pasty color of his skin, the horrible gaping wound that spread open his plastron. It would be a miracle if he lived. The house seemed so empty without his cheerful voice, without his reassuring, positive demeanor to lift their spirits. There was an empty void in his heart, a black, hollow hole there that used to be his brother. And then there was Donatello. Poor Don. It seemed that no matter what happened, he was always getting the rotten end of things. First he was forced to watch the woman he loved die, and if that wasn’t bad enough, he may soon be dead himself. His chances for survival were only about fifty-fifty now. The thought of losing them--any of them was just too much. It didn’t make sense. It was so unfair, so unnecessary.
“Leo?”
Leonardo made no attempt to hide his tears. He just kept wondering over and over again what their lives would be like without them. He knew it was something he had to prepare himself for. Why had he promised Trevor that Don would wake up? How could he vow something like that to him? It was simple, he decided. Trevor wouldn’t be able to face another death. He had lost so much already.
And how could he face this himself? They needed each other, all four of them. Their bind was so tight, so intense, that a small part of him died every time one of them was in pain. What would it be like to lose them completely? Would this torment go on forever?
Raphael closed his eyes. He hated to see his brother’s tears. And seeing Leo’s grief wasn’t helping much to contain his own. He didn’t want to feel these emotions he was feeling. He wished they would just leave him alone. Why did it have to hurt so damn much? Gritting his teeth, he pushed against the grief, fighting it until he thought he would explode.
After a few moments of silence, Leo gathered himself again and spoke softly. “The funeral’s tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” Raph sucked in a breath. “I know.”
“I know you don’t want to, Raph, but you really should let—“
“No.” Raph looked at him, determined. “No way I’m turning her over, Leo. She was my wife, and I’m gonna be the one to bury her. Besides…I thought we discussed this. It’s too dangerous to call the paramedics now. They’ll be able to tell she’s been dead for a while, and they’ll start asking questions. And anyway, I’m not letting some strange creeps touch her.”
Leonardo let out a sigh. “I understand. Just, when the time comes, don’t push us away, okay?”
Raphael grunted, and Leonardo took that to be an agreement.
Leonardo was getting very wary of funerals. It seemed as though he was attending so many recently. Tomorrow was going to be one of the longest days of his life. Not only would they be burrying Robyn, but later in the day, Megan would be put to rest as well. Two friends leaving his life forever in one day. It wasn’t something he wanted to face.
The room was eerily silent for a while. Leo didn’t know what else to say. He knew there would be no comforting his brother. Raphael would have to find his way on his own, and that would take time.
Finally, Leo broke the silence. “So…what’s his name?”
“Huh?”
“My nephew…What did you name him?”
For the first time in a while, Raphael smiled a little. “Tenshi.”
“Tenshi…” Leo smiled back. “Angel…blessing from heaven…I like it.”
“Yeah, well…I figured he’s pretty much a miracle anyway.”
“That he is, Raph. He’s the first one of his kind, and he’s beautiful. You should be proud.”
Suddenly, Raphael’s demeanor changed again, and Leo could see the anger build in his eyes. “You know what they did to him, Leo? They had him locked up in a stinking cage!”
Leo hadn’t heard about that before, and he was stunned.
“They treated him like an animal…a freak! He’s not a freak, Leo. He’s not—“
Leo grabbed him gently by the arms, pulling him toward him so he could look him in the eyes. “I know, Raph. He isn’t. And don’t ever let anyone tell you differently. He’s one of us.”
Raphael glanced down at the floor, motionless, his thoughts focused on Megan and on his child, and about what they would do without her. A song was playing on the radio, and he listened quietly, wishing he could go somewhere--anywhere to escape this pain.
”Find myself all alone…In darkness without you…Now I can't turn away from what I must do…You know I'd give my life for you. More than words can say…I've shown you how to love someone. I know you'll find a way…”
Tears began to stream down Raphael’s face. Those words...they were her words. She had taught him how to love, how to feel. As the song continued, he pictured her singing it to him, saying her last goodbye.
”Say goodbye, Close your eyes…Remember me. Walk away, The sun remains…Remember me.”
He pulled away from Leo’s grip and turned away, unable to stop the grief any longer. The tears were warm on his cheeks, the pain in his heart so complete, he thought it would burst into flames. Choking, he let out a relentless sob, and lowered his face into his hands. He didn’t want Leo to see him this way, but there was nothing he could do to stop it. Images of her filled his mind. He remembered the day they’d met. It seemed like so long ago now, but he could still remember the velvet dress she wore, the way her hair was tied back away from her delicate face. He remembered their first kiss, the way her warm breath felt against his mouth…
”I'll live on somewhere in your heart…You must believe…Remember me. No way I can change my mind. I don't have the answers. If you could see through my eyes you'd let go of your fears…”
But he couldn’t say goodbye. It scared him to think what would happen to him if he let go. He needed her. It wasn’t fair. Why did she have to leave him? Why, after he’d found something as beautiful and perfect as her, did it have to be ripped away from him? He hadn’t even gotten the chance to say goodbye.
”And though I have to leave you now with the thought of each other…I'll miss your touch. You call my name…I am with you forever. With the change, we can't explain, remember me.”
She hadn’t wanted him to leave for California. In fact, she’d practically begged him not to. If only he had listened to her. She would still be alive. He wouldn’t be hurting like this, and Tenshi would have a mother to raise him. He pounded his fists against the floor, ignoring the pain that shot up his knuckles. It didn’t matter anymore. Nothing did.
”You know I'd give my life for you…More than words can say, I showed you how to love someone. I know you'll find a way.”
“Raph?” Leo could hear the strangled sobs rising. He knew Raphael wanted to be alone right now, but he wasn’t sure that’s what he really needed. Sniffling up his own tears, he moved toward him again, and wrapped his arms around him. Raphael pulled away a little, but didn’t break himself free from Leo’s embrace. Leo could feel Raph’s body trembling under his grasp, the tenseness in his muscles, and then, in an instant, his body went limp, and he fell into Leo’s chest, sobbing.
”Be there to watch over you…Remember me. Feel I'm gone, my heart lives on…Remember me.”
Something about Leo’s presence comforted him, and for a moment, he forgot his pride, ignored his image, and just let go. He would never let go of her completely. He would never forget that he’d loved once, that he actually found someone who could relate to him, who could get him to open up and express himself like he never had before. He wasn’t sure if he ever would be able to again.
”Don't you think of this as the end. I'll come into your dreams…Remember me.”
“Please, Leo…” he said at last, pulling away from Leo’s grasp. “I just…I want to be alone.”
Leo wanted to reach out for him again, to cradle him in his arms and tell him that everything would be okay, but he didn’t. He decided it was enough that Raphael had opened up to him and had let him see his true feelings. Perhaps as time went on, he would be able to do so again.
”Close your eyes…Say goodbye…Remember me…”
Raphael couldn’t take anymore. He felt like he was dying, like a giant weight was pressing down on him, smothering him to the point of death. Air...he needed to get out of here, to be free from this place. It held too many bad memories.
He stood up shakily, wiping his tears as best he could.
“Raph? Where are you going?”
“Out.”
“Okay...” Leo said gently. “When will--”
“Later...when I’m ready. Don’t bother looking for me. I’ll come back when I want to be found.”
Before Leo could respond, Raphael was gone.
Chapter 15 Coming Soon!