"The days passed slowly, and the three of us kept constant vigil over Raphael. Casey had come down to visit once, about three days after the incident, and he'd had to leave. He tried to keep his cool around us, but the sight of Raphael's pale, blood-soaked body was just too much. April stayed away completely. I wasn't sure if she hated Raphael for what had happened to Shadow, or if she was simply too afraid to see him in that state. I received my answer shortly thereafter when she finally dared to come down and see him for herself..."
"April?"
She stood in the middle of the living room, several feet from the couch, a look of apprehension on her face. She stared at the back of the couch for a long while, as if trying to decide whether she dared to peer around it to see what ghastly sight awaited her on the other side.
"Hi..." she said uneasily. "I thought I should come down and--I hope I'm not disturbing anything..."
"No, April." Splinter said kindly. "Please, come in and make yourself at home."
Donatello gestured toward the couch where Mike was carefully changing the bandages. April slowly neared, her attempt to look casual fading as she caught sight of Raphael.
"Oh god..." She gasped. She covered her face with her hands and turned away. "God, I'm sorry, I--"
"It's alright, April." Don touched her arm, unsure of what to say.
She looked at him. His image was blurry and distorted through her tears. "God...I...the things I said to him. I was so cruel. I didn't mean it. I should've never said--"
"Take heart, April." Splinter said softly.
"Yeah," Mike added from his spot on the couch. "I'm sure he knows how you feel."
"We were just about to have some tea. Perhaps you'd like to join us?"
April bit her lip and nodded. "That would be nice, thanks."
Splinter took four cups from the cupboard and poured the hot liquid into them. Steam rose from the contents, filling the air with a warm, herbal scent. Mike finished doctoring Raph's wounds, washed his hands, and joined the other three at the table. They drank in silence.
"It's funny, you know..." April said after a long while. "We used to do this all the time--me, Shadow, the five of you..." Emotion overtook her and she was unable to complete the thought.
"And now everything's changed." Mike added. "Nothing will ever be the same."
"Don't talk like that, Mike." Don said softly.
"It's the truth, Don. Splinter, you and me...we're the only ones left."
"But that wasn't entirely true..."
"In the days that followed, we began to notice a change for the better in Raphael. His pulse was growing stronger, and some of his color began to return. We assigned ourselves shifts--I took the early mornings, Mike took nights, and we gave Splinter the daytime, so he could get his rest. We monitored him every couple of hours, checking his pulse, making sure his dressings weren't soaked through, and checking his temperature. It was an agonizing wait. Although he appeared to be improving, we knew that at any time, he could take a turn for the worst.
"We were a tangled web of emotions. There wasn't much we could do now but wait. And waiting was worst of all. Mike read him stories he'd written, in hopes that Raphael could hear him. Even a 'shut the hell up' from our fallen brother would have been very welcome as far as Michaelangelo was concerned. Splinter kept busy with meditation. He explained that perhaps if he could locate his spirit via the astral plane, he could somehow bring him back with him. I considered this hope a little optimistic, but then again, Splinter had been known for accomplishing things we, at times, had thought impossible.
"I tried to keep my mind focused on other things--the vast expanse of the solar system, the molecular structure of mold, simple things like that. But at other times, I couldn't help but mourn for my brothers. I missed Leonardo terribly. His absence left a void in my life I'd never experienced before. And even though Raphael was still with us, his inability to interact or converse with us filled me with dread and longing.
"As I slept one night, I found myself suddenly awakened by a pair of rough hands. Disoriented, I sat up quickly, readying to defend myself against the unseen attacker.
'Donnie...' I relaxed at the sound of Mike's voice.
'Mike, you scared me. Is it my turn already?' It appeared to still be dark outside, though at times, it was hard to tell.
'No...but, Don...'
I started to lay back down. 'Goodnight, Mike. I'll see you in a few hours--'
'It's Raph, Don! I think...I think he might be waking up!'
'I launched out of bed faster than I ever had before, quicker even then when I was a kid on Christmas morning. 'Get Splinter!' I called as I flew past him.
I kneeled down next to the couch, Splinter and Michaelangelo not far behind me. I stared down at Raphael, studying him for signs of change or movement. At first glance, he appeared just as comatose as ever, but as I watched, I noticed little things--the twitch of a finger, a tiny frown, an almost inaudible sigh.
Splinter and Mike knelt down next to me, and Mike took Raph's hand. Splinter laid his on Raph's forehead, and beckoned him softly.
'Raphael...'
My heart was racing, and my stomach was churning. I could feel the blood pulsing in my temples. Was he going to be okay? He had to make it, he just had to!
Raph's frown deepened, which was a very good sign. Maybe he could hear Splinter talking to him.
'Raphael...can you hear me?'
I glanced at Mike. His eyes were big and bright, and he was gripping Raphael's hand so tightly, I wasn't sure if he was frowning at the sound of Splinter's voice, or from the pain of the squeeze.
'Mmmm...'
'Raph?' I moved closer, studying his face.
'Come on, Raph...come on...' Mike urged.
Splinter turned to me. 'Bring me some cold water and a washcloth.'
I didn't want to leave Raphael, not now, but I obeyed. It was the fastest I'd ever done anything in my life, too. I gathered up a bowl and some ice--hey, Splinter said to make it cold--and covered the ice with water.
Splinter submerged the washcloth in the freezing water, wrung it out and laid it on Raph's forehead. 'Raphael...' he tried again.
Raphael's eyelids fluttered and flew open. He gasped for breath, his face contorting with pain.
That moment was like salvation to me. All of my deepest wishes came true in that instant. Raphael was alive! It was like a dream--one that I hoped I would never awaken from.
'Raphael!' Mike cried. Tears streamed down his cheeks, but a grin spread the entire width of his face.
I pulled Mike into a hug, and we both cried tears of joy and relief. All of my emotions began to surface at once--the pain and anguish I'd undergone when I though we'd lost him, the guilt of trying to keep him alive, the worry I still possessed for Leonardo, and now the joy of knowing that my brother was going to live.
Splinter laid a hand very carefully on Raphael's chest. 'Be calm, Raphael. Everything is all right.'
Raphael coughed, then let out a cry of pain. Splinter gently ran his hand down the side of Raph's face. 'You will be alright, my son.'
'Hurts...' Raph gasped.
'I know, but you must relax.'
The sounds of Raphael's desperate cries of anguish were like music to my ears. I felt great sympathy for his pain, but the sound of his voice helped confirm that he was going to be okay. He looked at us, and his eyes seemed to be questioning, as if he wasn't sure what had happened to him. I was afraid. A part of me wanted to tell him, but there was no way I could. I knew though, that with time, he would start to remember, and I was terrified of what he might do when the realization of all that had happened finally hit him.
Michaelangelo scooted in close, still squeezing Raph's hand. 'How do you feel, Raph?'
He grimaced. 'Hurts to breathe...'
'Yeah...you probably have a few bruised ribs, but that cut--' I stopped myself.
Raphael turned his sight to his plastron, and terror filled me. We watched him silently, sparing quick, worried glances at one another. Would he remember now? It would do him no good to get upset. Every movement, every angered breath would only make his situation worse. He needed rest. Rest and...food.
'Hey, Raph, are you hungry?' I attempted to change the subject. It seemed to work for the moment.
'Starving...' he groaned.
Mike jumped up. 'I'll get you some soup, Raph. Take it easy, okay?'
"It would be a long road, and we all knew it, but Raphael was alive. What more could we ask for? I silently prayed to any god that would listen, thanking them all for giving me my brother back."