I awoke with a start. My heart was pounding in my chest, my forehead soaked with sweat. It was dark...so very, very dark. I wanted to scream, but I laid there without saying a word, just listening to the sound of nothingness that surrounded me--an empty void, mixed with the quiet, soothing sound of his breathing.

I laid there for a while, my head on his chest, listening to the slow, controlled beat of his heart. It was a reassurance to know he was here with me. If not for the strong arms that held me close to him, I might have believed it all a dream. Slowly, I relaxed, feeling some of the tension and fear subside. I was safe now. The nightmares couldn't touch me.

Horrible visions, images of torture and murder had plagued me all night long. Instead of the peace I thought would come from our night together, I was instead forced to witness horrors unimaginable. The distorted faces of Larry and Curtis jeered at me, laughing wickedly as I helplessly watched them hurt my friends. The turtles' tortured screams, Splinter's echoing cries of pain, fear...blood...

Very carefully, I lifted Splinter's arm from my waist and sat up. I pressed a hand to my forehead, trying to rid myself of the awful images from the dream. I was shaking again as I pictured their torment, burned and bloodied corpses left to rot in a dirty pool of filth and decay.

I had to do something...I had to do it now. Splinter and I had gotten too close. Too much was at steak now. I threw the covers back and crawled out of bed carefully, praying to God I wouldn't wake him. I felt him stir a little and froze in place, watching him nervously, until he relaxed again with a soft smile that was barely discernable in the darkness. I stared at that face for a long time, knowing I would probably never see it again. How serene he looked, how my heart began to break at the thought of hurting him.

Still, I knew I had to go. I couldn't bear the idea of him being murdered, especially as a result of helping me. He was too important. A lot of people depended on him...I was one of them. It was better this way though. At least I would leave with the knowledge that I was keeping him safe. It was far better to hurt him a little than to lose him to death. Afterall, he'd get over me, and life would move on.

I searched the darkness for my underware and nightshirt and dressed quickly. I glanced at the bedside clock. It was four-twenty-three. It would be getting light in a couple of hours. I turned and stared at him for a long moment, taking in what I could see of his form in the darkness, trying to commit it to memory. His happiness--I wanted to remember it forever. Carefully, I leaned over him and kissed his forehead gently.

"Please forgive me..." I whispered.

Once downstairs, I found my bag and began to stuff my clothes and various other belongings in there as quickly and quietly as I could. My heart raced at the idea that someone might catch me trying to leave again. I kept telling myself over and over that I had to do this. I didn't want to leave, I didn't want to hurt them...but I had no other choice.

I pulled on a pair of jeans, followed by my shoes and socks, and closed up the bag, pulling Buster into a hug. He wagged his tail and licked my face, and all I could do was lay my head against his and stroke him behind the ears, fighting off my grief. The taxi would be here soon. I had to go.

"Take care of him for me, okay?" I whispered. I scribbled a quick note explaning my disappearance and set it on the coffee table. I could only hope that they would understand. I put on the coat April had given me and hurried out into the cold early morning.

I stood on the front porch, nervous as hell, glancing around constantly in hopes that whoever was on watch wouldn't find me. I didn't want to have to explain myself again. I couldn't face them.

After what seemed like an eternity, the taxi cab finally pulled up along the dirt road. Gathering the coat around me, I hurried toward it, not even pausing to glance back. I opened the door and instant warmth engulfed me. I set my bag down and quickly got inside, shutting the door as soon as I'd entered. A soft song was playing on the radio, and as I listened, some of my worries began to subside. I wasn't out in the open anymore. I was hidden safely within the walls of the car. Still, an aching desire gnawed at me, an intense loneliness. It was almost unbearable.

"Where to?" The cab driver glanced in his rearview mirror, watching me with curious brown eyes.

I shivered. "Uhhh...the nearest bus station. And please hurry."

He stepped on the gas and we were off. "So...whatchu' running from?"

"Excuse me?"

"Look, I seen lots of people in my day, and taken lots of people places in a hurry. I know the signs."

I didn't like the way this guy was trying to invade my privacy. "Yeah, well...I'm not running. I need to get somewhere quickly. Is that okay with you?"

He lowered his eyes back to the road, saying nothing further. I turned my head and stared out the window, trying to block out the new song that was playing on the radio as I watched the farmhouse fade slowly from my vision.

Somewhere there's speaking...it's already coming in...oh, and it's rising at the back of your mind. You never could get it unless you were fed it. Now you're here and you don't know why...

I felt dread grip me as I stared out at the passing scenery. I thought I saw a light come on in one of the upstairs bedrooms, but it must have been my imagination, because when I looked again, the window was dark.

But under skinned knees and the skid marks...past the places where you used to learn...you howl and listen...listen and wait for the echoes of angels who won't return...

I felt tears slide down my cheeks as I stared out the window, the farmhouse now only a speck on the distant horizon. I laid my hand against the glass, trying to reach out and touch it one last time.

He's everything you want, he's everything you need...he's everything inside of you that you wish you could be. He says all the right things at exactly the right time, but he means nothing to you and you don't know why.

"Splinter..." I whispered his name so quietly, I doubt the driver could have possibly heard it.

I laid my head back against the seat, trying to block out the grief I was now experiencing. It was as if the radio was singing a song of my life--the hardships I'd faced, my inability to come to terms with myself...the way I'd felt about Splinter. How I longed to be like him--to know his peace, to have his patience, to be so worthy of love and respect. But the song had it wrong. He didn't mean nothing...he was everything.

You're waiting for someone to put you together. You're waiting for someone to push you away. There's always another wound to discover. There's always something more you wish he'd say..."

I had been so afraid to get close, I'd denied my own feelings. Now that I'd finally found them, I was running away again. But it was different. I was doing this for all of them, not against them.

He's everything you want, he's everything you need...he's everything inside of you that you wish you could be...

"Excuse me..." I called out to the driver. I'd had enough. He glanced in his mirror at me again. "Could you please turn that off?"

I had him drop me off a couple of blocks before the bus station. I wanted the time alone to try to clear my head. I glanced up at the bright white disk of the full moon, and I remembered my first night at the farmhouse. It was strange how things could change so drastically in only a couple of weeks.

I tried not to think about it anymore as I drew the coat tighter around me and walked through the cold night air. I could see my breath linger on it like a puff of smoke. I wondered what the temperature was. It had to be around forty degrees.

The train station was empty. An elderly man, a bum by the looks of him, sat in one of the chairs in the lobby, but he appeared to be the only other customer. I walked up to the counter and smiled politely at the man who worked there.

"Can I help you, miss?"

"Yeah, I'd like to get a ticket to Alpena, Michigan, please..."

It was the only place I could think to go. While I didn't want to risk putting my mother's life in danger, I had no money to go anywhere else.

"Okay...there's a bus leaving out at eight-thirty am..."

"Eight thirty!??? Isn't there anything sooner?"

"No, I'm sorry. That's our earliest."

I sighed. "Okay...that'll have to do then."

"Alright..." The man squinted and ran his finger over a laminated chart. "The fare is one-eighteen-fifty, plus tax, so the total will be--"

"Wait a sec...one-eighteen...you mean a hundred and eighteen dollars??"

"Yes, that's right." He said matter-of-factly.

"Whoa...I don't have that kind of cash on me right now. Isn't there anything cheaper?"

"I'm sorry, ma'am...there are no other rates for buses going to Alpena."

"How about anywhere else in Michigan?"

"Let me look..." Again, he ran his finger over the chart, pausing several times. "I'm sorry...all rates for Michigan are about the same."

"Damn..."

What was I going to do now? I had to go somewhere...

"Okay, how about something closer?"

"Where would you like me to check?"

"Anywhere..."

He stared at me for a long moment, as if I was a suspect in a line-up, before returning his attention to the chart.

"How much were you hoping to spend?"

I searched through my wallet, counting my money. I had about forty-five dollars.

"Somewhere around forty or fifty." It was embarassing to be so poor.

"Hmmm...well, we have one that goes to Arlington, Vermont for $34.50. And here's another to Augusta, Maine...that's a little higher though...$59.75."

"I'll take the one for Vermont." I decided quickly. It was all I could afford.

"Fine." He looked at me skeptically again.

I started to hand him the money, but something stopped me. I swallowed hard and looked away, gripping the twenties tightly.

"Ummm...could you give me a minute? I'll be right back."

He said nothing as I walked away and sat down in a chair, but I could feel him watching me. I was starting to worry he might call the police on me for being so suspicious, but when I glanced back at him, he was tidying up the counter like nothing had happened.

I groaned and dropped my face into my hands. What the hell was I doing here? Hadn't I learned by now that I couldn't run away from my problems? What did I hope to accomplish by fleeing to a state where I knew no one and wouldn't have a cent to my name? This was madness. I thought about Splinter again. I saw that smile of contentment on his sleeping face, and I knew I couldn't do this. I had to go back. What a fool I'd been!

With new determination, I gathered my bag and hurried outside to the pay phone. I dialed the number for the cab company. It rang twice before someone picked up.

"Hi...yes, I need a ride to--"

Before I could finish, I felt something clammy clamp down over my mouth, strong arms wrapping around me. I tried to scream, but the hand blocked the sound, making it impossible.

Someone hung up the phone, and I was pulled away harshly. I kicked my feet, trying desperately to break free, but their hold was strong. Suddenly, I remembered all of my practices with Leonardo. I took in a deep breath, trying to calm myself enough to remember what he'd taught me.

In a flash, I kicked toward my attacker's groin, making contact. His grip on me faltered altogether as he doubled over in pain. I started to run, but another set of hands grabbed me, digging into the flesh of my wrists. I glanced into his face, nearly screaming in fear.

Curtis!

He wasn't grinning this time. He was staring at me with a look of pure contempt. By the light of the moon, I could make out the scars on his face, deep gouges that spread down his forehead and over his cheekbone, just missing his eye. A big dark bruise covered his chin, and his bottom lip appeared to be deformed somehow. Although several weeks had passed since our escape, I knew instantly that it was the work of Splinter. It had to be.

Without further thought, I kicked for him, but he was ready for it, and was able to avoid contact. Still, his grip loosened on me enough to pull my arms free. Instantly, I attacked, throwing a punch to his already bruised face. He wasn't expecting such a fierce offense from me, and was unable to avoid it. My fist hit his cheek hard, and he stumbled back.

I tried to run again, like Leo had told me, but my first attacker recovered and came after me.

You can do this... I told myself. You can fend them off. You have the skills...

He came near, and I was finally able to make out his face. Jim... I didn't want to believe it about him...I didn't want to accept that he could be so evil. He grabbed for me, but I ducked his hold, kicking him in the shin. He cursed in pain and limped around, holding the sore spot with his hand.

Curtis punched, and I blocked, but just barely. He punched again, this time a little quicker than I was ready for. He hit me in the chin and I staggered back, waves of pain stunning me for a moment.

They advanced on me simultaneously. I glanced from one to the other, trying to decide what Splinter or one of the turtles might do in a situation like this. They were both clearly bigger than me, Jim not by much, but Curtis was a bear. I fended them off as long as I could, punching, kicking, blocking. I planted a side kick into Curtis's stomach, landed a punch to Jim's chest. I broke free of their grabs several times. I'd even managed to throw Jim once, but I was tiring, and although I could honestly be proud of how quickly I'd learned what Leo had taught me, my skills were far from perfected.

The two of them saw their opportunity, and Curtis grabbed me again, pulling my arms painfully behind my back.

"Break free from this, bitch!" He spat, his breath warm and moist in my ear.

I shuddered, remembering the last time I'd been in a position like this with him. I closed my eyes, trying to push away the thought of his hands violating me, to keep my nerve, but, despite my best efforts, I felt it begin to slip. Jim came near, and I pulled harshly, trying to break free. I kicked my legs and tugged with all of my might, but it was no use.

Jim pulled something long and shiny from his pocket. "Hold her still."

"I'm trying. What the fuck does it look like I'm doing?"

I watched in terror as the light reflected off the object. A needle. Oh shit...he was going to inject me with poison!

I struggled again, nearly breaking free, but Curtis repositioned his hands, strengthening his grip on me.

"Now Holly..." Jim scolded. "This is going to hurt more if you struggle..."

He pulled the coat down from my shoulders and pulled up the sleeve of my shirt. I tried to scream, but Curtis covered my mouth. I struggled against his grip, attemtping to free my arm, but it was no use. I felt a sharp sting as the needle pierced my skin. I let out a cry of horror as a warm tingling spread up my arm.

I blinked a few times, my vision becoming blurry. I tried to fight off the effects of the injection by focusing on something stable...the bus station perhaps. But slowly, everything blurred into a blob of unidentifiable color. I became lightheaded. I felt Curtis's grip loosen a little, and then everything faded from consciousness.

I woke up here...in this dark place of dispair. My hands are shackled to the bars of this cage, my coat long gone. It's freezing in here. I think they have the air conditioning up too high...or maybe it's just the effect of the injections.

They've pumped my body full of fluid...sodium pentothal. They call it truth serum, but deep down, I know it's nothing more than a sedative, which is probably why I feel so groggy and disoriented. Still, whether it's the actual effects of the drug, or just my mind playing tricks on me, I find myself sitting here relaying everything I've been through since the beginning. It's what they want--to know everything, to use my knowledge against my friends. And I can not lie.

Well, now my tale is done. I've just finished telling them everything--my hopes, my dreams, my fears. They know more about their enemies than I would like them to...more about me. God help us all if anything I've told them leads them to the others. God forgive me if any of them are harmed.

The effects of the serum have forced me to to be honest with myself--to face emotions and thoughts I tried so hard to lock away. Tears are streaming down my face now as I pull my wrists against the shackles, straining to get free. I have to get out of here...I must find a place to hide from the cruel truth...from myself.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Larry is speaking to me. I don't bother to look into his face. I don't have enough respect for him. "It's only going to make it worse. You'll never free yourself from those binds. Even the rat wasn't that strong."

The rat...

Despair fills me at the reference of him. I want to cry in anguish, but I refuse to. I can't allow myself the luxury. I have to be strong, if only to show them they haven't won. They will never win.

Larry squats down beside the cage and stares at me almost sympathetically. "If you'd cooperated the first time, we probably could have avoided this whole mess."

I say nothing, just stare at the numbingly cold concrete below me.

"We are going to find them, you know. There is nothing to stop us."

I raise my eyes to him for the first time, notice the dark black and blue marks around his eye. April had gotten in a good punch. I'm proud of her. Too bad that wasn't a result of my own fist.

"We've been watching you this entire time. Do you actually think we'd let you escape us that easily?"

I refuse to acknowledge this dribble with a response.

"My men are headed to their location as we speak--an entire squad of scientists."

"They'll never beat the turtles and Splinter." I finally speak. My voice is croaky, but filled with malice.

"I woudn't be so sure." He smiles that cocky grin. "Many of those men are also martial artists. We've filled them in on the mutants' skills. These men are very experienced. And they have the advantage. For you see, there is strength in numbers, and in the element of surprise."

"It doesn't matter." I say defiantly. "Your men are toast."

He laughs.

"They're going to kick their asses, and then the turtles will find me. And when they do, you'll be sorry you ever messed with any of us." I don't know if it is an effect of the serum, or of adrenaline, but I am feeling even braver than usual.

Larry's laughter rises. He wipes his eyes, turning as someone else enters. Jim approaches, holding another vial of liquid. I pull against my restraints again, dreading another injection.

"What's so funny?" He asks Larry.

"This woman's a crack-up." Larry giggles. "She actually thinks she can still win."

Jim smiles at him faintly, then unlocks the cage, entering slowly. My feet are not chained down, so I kick at him, hoping to injur him somehow. He just shakes his head, keeping enough distance between us so as not to be wounded. The needle sinks deep, and I gasp in pain as the warm serum again heats up my veins. I close my eyes as my body grows limp, and I am unable to fight back.

He kneels down close to me, yet keeping a safe distance. "Now..." He says quietly. "What is the extent of their power? How many enemies can one fight off alone?"

I say nothing, squeezing my eyelids tight. I won't allow myself to answer. No matter how much of the drug they inject into me, I refuse to give them any further information.

"You better answer me..." He warns. "Or when we find them, we'll kill the rat."

I swallow hard, trying to ignore the threat, yet knowing that they have the power to do it if they actually manage to capture him.

"The rat is the one you care most about, isn't it?"

The rat...why do they keep calling him that???

"He has a name!" I shout, suddenly very angry. "His name is Splinter! And he's not an 'it', he's a he!"

Jim clears his throat and waits patiently for some of my rage to subside. Slowly, it does, as more of the serum begins to take effect.

"Do you love it?" A familiar voice floods my senses, and I look up to find Curtis standing in the entrance of the cage.

I stare at him in defiance, refusing to answer.

"I said...DO YOU LOVE IT!????" He screams in my face.

Still, I don't answer. He raises his arm and back-hands me across the cheek. I close my eyes at the sharp sting, refusing to spill the tears that have begun to well up in my eyes.

"Curtis..." Jim warns.

But Curtis doesn't back down. He's in my face again, his hot, stinky breath on my neck. I shudder, knowing only disgust as I think about the idea of him touching me like he did in the elevator.

"Yes..." I whisper. And for the first time, I actually know deep down that it's the truth.

"You fucking slut!"

He raises his hand to me again, and before Jim can stop him, punches me in the eye. My head is thrown back, and it hits the bars behind me. My entire skull is on fire.

"Goddammit, Curtis! That was totally uncalled for!" Jim yells. Through the haze, I can see him pushing him back, out of the cell. "We need her alive and conscious, remember?"

I watch them scuffle around for a few moments, but slowly, their forms fade, and everything returns to darkness.

I waken to a major headache. My left eye throbs in pain, and is nearly swollen shut. Jim is still in the room with me, kneeling outside the cage which is closed and locked. I moan as a throb of pain fires up behind my eye sockets. Jim looks up at me and smiles.

"I see you're finally awake. Does your head hurt much?"

I refuse to give him the satisfaction of an answer.

"I know Curtis can be brutal, but we're only doing this for the best interest of humanity..."

You don't know what he did to me...

"Fuck humanity..." I manage.

He looks at me with surprised curiosity.

"If a human being can put themself above another living creature--a creature who has feelings and emotions just like we do, and play God with their life...the lives of those they love...it's a race I don't want to be a part of."

Jim smiles and shakes his head. "Do you really love...that creature?"

I turn my head and look away.

"Perhaps then...you were never human to begin with."

A long time passes, but his eyes never leave me. He's waiting for something. What does he want me to say? I will not defend myself against his taunts. I have too much dignity.

"You've always been soft for animals, Holly. Maybe I should have seen it sooner."

I keep my sight focused elsewhere.

"You want to know how we tracked you?" He smiles. "It was quite simple, really. You, being such a sucker for animals...I knew you'd return to your apartment for your dog. There was no way Holly Grant would leave behind a poor, defenseless animal. Do you know the best part? The answer was hidden in plain view the entire time."

He waits for me to respond, and when I don't, he continues. "Your dog...you should really take off that collar once in a while and give him a bath..."

Collar...? Oh shit...

I turn to look at him, blood rushing into my temples, making the pain worse. "You planted a tracking device in his collar..."

"Very good, Holly. I thought you'd never guess."

Shit...this isn't good. This isn't good at all. Buster is their means of tracking my friends down, and I left him with them!