It's my own design
It's my own remorse
Help me to decide
Help me make the most
Of freedom and of pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants to rule the world
There's a room where the light won't find you
Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down
When they do I'll be right behind you
So glad we've almost made it
So sad they had to fade it
Everybody wants to rule the world
-"Everybody Wants to Rule the World" by Tears For Fears
"Several years ago, you were summoned here to help us. Perhaps the passing of time in your own reality has caused you to forget the role you played in our freedom. But those of us who witnessed your heroism will never forget."
Raphael leaned toward me. "This guy's a loony..." he whispered. I nodded in agreement. Our new 'friend' wasn't making much sense.
"Time passes differently here than it does in what you consider your own world. It has only been about a week since you left us, but for you it will feel as though several years have passed. And, since you were here before your proper time, it is only the natural order of things that you should forget about the existence of this place."
"Ummm...excuse me..." Donatello broke in.
The kindly wizard acknowledged him. "Yes?"
"Forgive me if this comes across as rude, but...unless we're in another dimension, I don't see how a shift in the time continuum is po--"
"Friend turtle," the wizard smiled. "Dimensional law has no place here. This land is not of your world, nor any other. You are in a place that exists on a different plane altogether, and yet...does not really exist at all."
Okay, now I knew Raphael was right. This guy had a few screws that needed tightening.
He glanced at each of us, an amused smile overpowering the evident lines of age in his face. "Before I continue, let me say, Welcome..." he tipped his head in a greeting gesture, disrupting the owl on his shoulder. "...to the land of All Creation."
I could feel my eyes practically bugging out of my head. The land of...what?
"The land of All Creation..." Leo mimicked softly, confirming what I thought I'd heard. His eyes were distant and thoughtful, his mind adrift with questions he had yet to voice. I, however, had no hesitation.
"So does this mean we're in some kind of fairy tale world?"
"Hmmm...perhaps this is all a figment of our imaginations..." Donatello pondered.
"Imagination, yes." The wizard smiled. "But you are really here, just as I am."
This was starting to get confusing.
"You still haven't told us your name." Raphael's voice was skeptical. He never readily trusted strangers, and under our present circumstances, this wizard was certainly no exception.
"Ah, yes. Forgive my thoughtlessness. I am Merlin, keeper of the gates to the land of All Creation." Again he bowed, a little lower this time, and the owl ruffled its feathers in protest.
"Merlin?" I gasped. I'd read countless stories about Merlin the wizard...the magician. Surely this couldn't be him. Merlin was just a legend. A myth.
"When you came here, years ago according to your time, it was because you were summoned by Zeus to help us defeat the trickster, Loki. He had an evil hold over this place. Zeus knew that you were good of heart and that you would agree to protect your future home from harm."
"Wait a minute..." Raphael nearly growled. "What do you mean 'future home'?"
"You still don't understand, do you?" He shook his head sadly. "Think about the time before. Think hard, and it will come to you..."
I closed my eyes, trying to envision this place. A faint remembrance began to form in my mind. I saw him--Loki--travelling through a dimly lit brick hallway. There were doors on either side--there was something about them, but I couldn't remember what it was. Everything was so vague. But Loki didn't look like Loki. He resembled someone else...someone innocent...
"I remember." Leo said finally. I opened my eyes to look at him, and the vision faded. "It was a long time ago. I'd dismissed it for a dream eventually. We never spoke of it after that night at the campfire. But now I realize it was real."
His voice held a hint of awe that was almost frightening.
"I remember too." I admitted. "This guy--I think it was Loki in disguise--he kept telling us we were early."
"Yes." Merlin nodded. "Too early to become legends just yet. But now, you're right on time."
That news was unsettling for us all. Right on time to become legends? Just what did Merlin mean?
The room was enormous. The interior walls were made of sturdy stone. We sat at a long wooden table that stretched almost the entire length of the forty-foot dining hall. The place seemed so empty with only my brothers and I and Merlin filling up five of the hundred or so chairs.
There was a bowl of food in front of me. What it was exactly, I couldn't tell, but it smelled wonderful. Still, for once in my life, I had no appetite. One of Raphael's good, stiff martinis would have done nice right about then though.
"I still don't get it..." Don was saying. "I mean, we're here but we aren't, this place exists, yet it doesn't? Just the thought of that alone defies all the laws of science..."
Again, Merlin smiled and absent-mindedly stroked the owl on his shoulder. "Let me see if I can explain this in a way it will make sense to you. Throughout history, man has conjured up a means of escape--a way to explain the mysteries of life, both bad and good. I have always considered human beings to be fascinating creatures. They have such an exquisite ability for imagination. And it is from imagination that most of their answers were found. Gods and Goddesses, with a power higher and much greater than their own--these are the creatures that control time and destiny, light and dark. Still there are others. Magicians and heroes and mythological beasts with vast and extraordinary powers. Together, these creatures have both saved and changed humanity's world, for better or for worse.
"Of course, because of the nature of reality, we all know that these characters do not really 'exist'. The laws of science, as you have put it, Donatello, do not allow it. Their reality...their livelihood can only flourish in the minds of man. There comes a time, however, when the belief in these beings becomes so strong, it overpowers the very laws of physics and science, and yes, even imagination. If this happens--if the belief in those creatures becomes strong enough, it comes to supercede all else. Suddenly, and very rapidly, the beings are filled with a power so great, they become stronger than all barriers, greater than the sum of all of the belief that has ever been invested in them. When this happens, and only then, they gain the power of existence. They materialize into substantial beings and take up residence here, in the land of All Creation."
I was speechless. Could that really happen? I had an amazing imagination, or so my family had always told me, but I'd found it extremely hard to believe that a fictional character could just suddenly spring to life one day. On the other hand, after what I'd seen in that place in the matter of only a couple of hours, I was finding it difficult to establish a line between fantasy and reality anymore at all.
A long, haunting silence followed as we exchanged confused and worried glances. Something was starting to dawn on me then, and the very thought of it caused a deep and undeniable feeling of dread.
"Yes..." Leonardo said slowly. "I remember now." Something in his eyes reflected the fear and uncertainty that I felt."But...if this land is completely occupied by mythical beings...then..."
He fell silent, a hush falling over the entire room.
"Yes." Merlin said at last. "You and your brothers, Leonardo, are not of man's world. And now you have sprung from the very mind of man and become substantial at last. You..." He paused for emphasis. "have become legends."
"Legends..." Michaelangelo breathed.
She took his hand, noticing the obvious distress in his face. She was afraid to ask, worried about what effect the answer might have on both of them, but she was too curious not to.
"What exactly does that mean?"
He looked at her, long and hard, his eyes glazing over with uncertainty. She could tell he was trying to be strong. His face cracked into a half smile, but that look in his eyes...
"It means..." he sucked in a breath, the determination in his face quickly fading. "That...I don't really exist."
She stared at him wide-eyed. The fear in his face was so evident. She wanted to pull him into a hug, to tell him that everything would be okay, yet she found she couldn't move.
"But...you're here." She managed.
He nodded. "In spirit."
"But I can see you. I'm talking to you--touching you. I feel--"
"It won't last long." He said sadly.
Fictional characters...myths. We didn't really exist. In an instant, our entire lives meant nothing. Everything we'd ever gone through, everything that made us who we are was false. Suddenly, I realized that I had no idea who I really was anymore. I felt disconnected, insignificant, like a tiny grain of sand floating in the breeze.
Needless to say, the realization was devastating. Raph and Don refused to accept Merlin's answers as fact. It went against every scientific principal Donatello had ever learned. Raphael was just too stubborn to see the truth. It was very life altering to know that what I thought of as my life never really existed in the first place. I can't say I blame Raphael for pushing that truth away, no matter how real it was.
Merlin explained to us that we appeared here just as all of the other creatures who took up residence in this land. Once, there was enough faith in us to keep us going, totally oblivious to the fact that our lives and in fact, very essences were made up in the minds of man. In our minds, we were real. At one time, our popularity soared. It was as if nothing could bring us down. As the years passed, it began to dwindle, yet our remembrance lived on. As the high point in our popularity slowly dropped, our legend then became greater than that belief, and we found ourselves here, as substantial beings, in the land of All Creation.
It's hard to explain the effect this news had on my brothers and me. On the one hand, it was better than anything I could possibly ever dream. We were legends--heroes. Maybe we would even become part of history itself. Almost everyone knew who we are, and it wasn't like real life, where we'd had to hide from humans. No, it was okay to be known, because we never really existed in the first place.
But that was the problem.
We never really existed. Here I was, standing in this beautiful land. I could feel the grass between my toes, hear the birds chirping in the trees. I felt things--joy, sorrow, pain, grief and awe all at once. Yet, I was only the figment of someone's imagination. It was sobering to say the very least.
Merlin told us not to worry. He reassured us that as long as belief in us existed, we would continue to thrive. That wasn't much comfort given the circumstances though.
"I just can't comprehend this..." Leonardo was pacing, as he always did when trying to center his thoughts. I knew he was hurting just as much as I was, but the constant back and forth movement was slowly driving me mad.
"Mythical beings..." Donatello breathed. "No, it can't be possible. Someone's playing mind games with us. The Shredder--"
"Is dead." Leonardo stopped pacing and looked at Donatello.
"But..." A million thoughts had begun collecting themselves in my head--ideas that terrified the hell out of me. "What if he's not?"
They all turned their attention on me now, and I could see the terror in their eyes as well. "We never really existed. What we thought was real never really happened. What if..." I swallowed. "What if Shredder's become a legend too?"
Raphael rose to his feet, frustration lighting up in his eyes. "Damn this place! Damn it all!"
Now he began to pace, but instead of the calm, controlled swiftness of Leonardo's movements, this was cold, raw rage. He stomped back and forth like an angered animal trying to break free of its cage. But really, that's all we were. Scared, frustrated creatures, trying desperately to figure a way out of this trap we'd been caught in.
Leonardo tried to ignore Raphael's uproar. He closed his eyes, in deep thought for a moment. "Something doesn't feel right." He said at last. "There's got to be more to it than this."
Donatello nodded in agreement. "I just can't swallow this whole 'we-never-existed' theory. We have to exist, or we wouldn't be standing here. It's almost as if--"
"As if there's something Merlin isn't telling us." Leo finished the sentence for him. "My thoughts exactly."
It was creepy. A cold, icy feeling of dread crept up my spine as I walked through the narrow corridors. Something about this place was familiar, and it wasn't a pleasant realization. It was as if I could feel the weight of my own shadow following me as I moved. The floor was cold concrete, hard and unforgiving. The walls were made of brown brick, reminding me a lot of the sewers back home. Home...what a weird new meaning that held for me now. But it was what was within the walls that kept me entranced.
There were doors, spaced at geometric intervals, lining both sides of the dim corridor. Each was made of a grainy wood, rounded at the top, and set deep into the molded bricks. They had handles and joints, just like any other door, and were, for the most part, unremarkable. That, however, wasn't what had stolen my attention. It was the plaques, one above each door, shining gold in the dim torchlight that sent that tingling sensation through me again. Within the shiny metal surface of each plate was engraved a name. Names of characters I'd heard of before--read about in books, watched on TV, seen in my dreams. It was the oddest feeling of deja vu mixed with morbid fascination I had ever felt. And this was only the beginning.
Merlin walked ahead of us, accompanied by the man and woman we'd met when we first arrived. We'd come to the introductions eventually, and I discovered that my impulses had been right. She was Athena, Goddess of War, and he was the God of Thunder, Thor. It was the oddest thing I'd ever experienced, being led to our doom by characters that I'd first been introduced to within the pages of an old paperback.
Draco, a sign read to my left. I glanced to my right. Gemini.
We must be in the constellation section, I thought to myself. The idea was rather humorous, given our current situation. I found myself wondering what category we'd been placed in. Heroes, maybe. But then my mind started wandering, and I came up with other, more reasonable titles. Monsters...freaks...mutants... I shook the feeling of dread away and focused instead on the artistic architecture of the halls. It really was quite beautiful, if not a little haunting.
It seemed like an eternity. It was so silent, I could hear our footsteps on the smooth concrete. Our walk was slow, deliberate. I think Merlin was giving us a chance to explore our surroundings and to familiarize ourselves with this place before reaching our intended destination. If not for the time I'd spent gazing at the doorways and searching the plaques, our discovery might have proven too much for me to bear. As it was, it came as quite a horrific shock.
The Halls of Lost Legends, is what Merlin had called this place. The title was vaguely familiar, as was the construction. I searched myself as I walked, trying to recall everything that had happened here when we'd come before. Most of it was all a blur--mixed images swarming around the back of my mind. I was sure that in time, it would come to me. And, it seemed, time was something I would have plenty of to spare from then on.
I stole a quick glance at my brothers, noticed the distress in each of their faces. Leonardo led the way. He kept his eyes forward, never allowing his sight to stray from Merlin. His stride was bold and calm, though the look on his face betrayed him. His jaw was set tight, and there was a hint of nervousness in his eyes. Raphael stayed right along side of him. He too put on an air of courage. If I had only seen him from behind, I would have thought that our little adventure to this strange place hadn't effected him in the least. It was his expression that gave him away. In his eyes, I saw real fear beneath the facade of confidence. Don held back a little, remaining close to me, yet in his own world altogether. His expression was thoughtful, as if he was still pondering the possibility of this place. The hesitation in his step told me that he was just as leery of this as I was.
Finally, our procession halted. Merlin stood in front of a door, Thor and Athena on either side of him. I swallowed the big lump in my throat, and approached the door with morbid curiosity. Leo was the first to catch up with them. He stepped forward bravely, and gazed up at the plaque. Then, he stopped dead in his tracks, his entire body growing rigid.
Oh no...this can't be good...
Raphael stood by his side, his hand reaching instinctively for the sai in his belt. He rested his hand over it, a threatening frown wrinkling his forehead.
Don and I exchanged wary glances and approached. As soon as the plaque came in view, a wave of panic flooded through me. It was the strongest emotion I had ever known. My knees felt weak, and I nearly collapsed, had Don not been there to hold me up. As I read the plaque, a distinct sense of terror rose up within me.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...
It was fascinating to say the least. Everything had been set up just as our home in the sewers had been, down to the crack in the coffee table, and the tin foil on the television antenna. Even the smell was the same. Incense...Splinter...
Suddenly, I missed him very much.
"I hope that you will find your accommodations acceptable." Merlin smiled. "I think that you will find them very familiar."
"Yeah..." Raphael's shoulders slumped, his expression turning sour. "It's just like back home. Great." His voice was tinted with sarcasm.
"It's perfect." Leo told Merlin half-heartedly. "Thank you very--"
"This sucks!" Raphael blurted. "We find out we didn't even exist in the first place, but even here we're forced to live in the sewers."
"Raphael..." Leo's tone was cautionary. "I don't like this whole situation any better than you do, but Merlin has been nothing but hospitable toward us." He turned to the wizard. "I'm sorry...we're all just having a little trouble adjusting."
Merlin nodded his head with a smile. "Don't apologize. I understand completely. Everyone goes through an adjustment period. We will leave you alone now to get acquainted with your new home. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to come see me."
With a bow, our three new friends were gone.
I slumped down onto the couch, which felt disturbingly familiar. Wasn't it the one I'd spent many sleepless nights daydreaming on when I was a kid? All of the lumps were in the right places, and it had the same tear in the left cushion. I rested my head in my hands, unable to mask my despair any longer. Donatello sat down carefully next to me.
"You okay, Mike?"
"I...yeah, I..." I looked up at him and saw a mirror of depression and uncertainty staring back at me. "No." I admitted. "Not really."
Leonardo came up behind us and rested his arms on the back of the couch. "This is too much." He said softly. "I don't even know what to do...where to begin..."
"Perhaps..." A familiar voice said behind us. "It is best to approach the situation from the beginning."
I turned to see a kind, furry face watching us intently. Oh, thank God he was here!
"Splinter!"